Apparate
by Xandra the Blue
Summary: AU: Harry is kidnapped from School at the age of 5 by a mysterious man. This story is both Moody's, as he hunts down the truth through ministry red tape and half- and the pressure placed on One Severus Snape as one of his best laid plans starts to unravel
1. Snatched

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Apparate

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Severus is Harry's Father, comes and takes him away from Dursley's at age five. But Instead of getting him from the Dursley's, he takes him from school. Snape goes into hiding to secure himself and his son's safety.

* * *

Quick Author's note

Hi hi, I know there are about a million of these on , and I did promise myself not to write one of these, but I like this particular spin on the story I thought of, plus I can do with the writing practise!

I have to admit, this particular plot, when excellently done, is very enjoyable, but I often find many authors fall into the trap of almost cut and pasting lists of abuse signs off the internet, which I will try not to do, but please leave some feedback, especially criticisms! I Need all the criticism I can get, especially if you like the idea. Anyway, hopefully I haven't bored you to death! Onwards!

* * *

Chapter one – Snatched.

"_When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained" - Mark Twain._

"Harry, can you stay behind for a second?" asked Miss Smyth as the children ran out for break.

Harry stopped in his tracks as if he has been yanked on a chain and turned around, slightly terrified.

"Teacher's pet!" Yelled Dudley, his friends laughing, as he ran away before Miss Smyth had the chance to reprimand them.

Harry waited until they were all gone, frozen in his tracked before slowly, guiltily, walking to her desk.

Miss Smyth's heart broke a little. Poor boy, she thought, he was miserable, but there was nothing she could do. Except now. Maybe, she thought, maybe she could make life a little better for him. Give him someone to talk to, to listen to him, take an interest in him. She'd only been teaching him for the last month, but the signs were practically written out in NUT1 guidelines. On his first day he'd come in wearing dirty, ripped clothing three sizes too big for him, it took barely a week for her to notice peculiar bruises on his body, in odd places that no fall, unless it was from a hundred metre height, could possible cause. His Aunt, Petunia make it very clear that she was his Aunt, did little more than bark at him when she came to pick him up to school with his cousin, Dudley.

OH yes, Dudley, he was the kind of boy who was politely described as "boisterous." In reality, he was a bully, known through the staffroom for taking a whack at anyone who got in his way, but in such a way that Dudley never got caugh in the act and the children he hit were too scared to speak. It was possible that Harry had got some of those bruises from rough and tumble play with him, indeed, Dudley was a heavy boy, but it seemed unlikely. Even Dudley couldn't have left the kind of mark on Harry's arm that was barely hidden beneath his moth-eaten school jumper.

Harry looked up at her with his big green eyes and looked at her expectantly. She smiled, and before she spoke she unconsciously reached out to him and he flinched. She paused. _Textbook, _she thought, _this can't be real_.

"H-Harry."

"yes miss." He said in a quiet voice.

"Harry, don't look so worried! I just want to talk to you about this story you wrote."

"I'm sorry, "Harry said, "I'm sorry, I wrote wrong, forget it…"

"No, no, it's good, it's very creative."

"NO, no it isn't!" Harry said, his voice drowning in panic, "I'm sorry I wrote it, I'll rip it up…"

Miss Smyth held the papers out of Harry's desperate reach and said, far more sternly than she intended, "Stop it Harry, be quiet please!"

Harry stopped dead and hung is head. "Sorry Miss…"

Miss Smyth coughed, and continued, "Now Harry, in your story you write about a boy called John who lived with monsters…and the monsters hit him and make him sleep in a tiny box…that's…very imaginative. The big one you drew, he has a very red face! What else do the monster's do to John?"

"The…the monsters tell John he's stupid and hit him if he gets a job wrong." Said Harry, looking at the floor. "The monsters don't let John eat if he's been bad. But John's run away with his Daddy, run away where the monster's can't find him! And his daddy takes him for ice-cream, and lets him sleep on a blanket and doesn't make him cry ever again! John doesn't worry about the monster's ever finding him…"

Miss Smyth looked at the picture of Harry and his dad. It looked oddly familiar, for some reason, but she couldn't put her finger on it. It was a black haired man, in a black dress with a big nose holding a crayon Harry by the hand, pointing at the monsters that had crude frowns drawn on. Indeed, textbook escapism, textbook story, mirroring word for word what Miss Smyth suspected to be Harry's life. She frowned, just a little and said, "I see. John's dad must be a very brave man, standing up to those monsters. Now, Harry, do the monster's ever make John feel sad."

"All the time." Harry said, with a day dreamy look in his eye, "John keeps wishing for his dad to come and save him, but John had been a bad boy, so his Dad sent him to the Monsters."

OH God. Miss Smyth knew what she had to do. She had to be very careful, but she felt that she would be able to get this child into protective custody by home time, especially with the evidence she'd been gathering, noting down and now, this story, a paper-thin cry for help. "Harry, those monsters's are real, aren't they?"

Harry was silent a second. "yes" he whispered, "but only because I'm a bad boy, I'm a bad boy, I'm a bad lazy boy…" he rocked slightly as he said it, closing his eyes.

"Harry, You're not." Miss Smyth, against her better judgement, put her hand on his shoulder. "Look me in the eye's, Harry."

Harry couldn't move his head.

"Harry, look up please."

Harry slowly lifted his head, his bright green, those famous, bright green eyes penetrating her own dull grey eyes. Those green eyes looked like a stormy sea about to burst, fighting between defeat and defiance. She instantly recognised those eyes, as well. Of course they did. They'd been on the front page of every daily Prophet five years ago. And that…how had she not seen…that scar, hidden below a thin layer of dirt and hair.

Oh no. What was a complicated, but textbook case suddenly got…even more complicated. "Harry…I promise I'm going to help you. Get you away from the monsters and to people who will look after you. I promise. I'll make everything better, I promise. I need to make a few phonecalls, so you can go out to break now, but when you get back, there's going to be a nice policeman who wants to know more about these monsters. I want you to tell him everything, as he can help make them go away, do you understand?"

"yes Miss." He said, perplexed.

"Good boy." She smiled, squeezing his shoulder before she let him go.

Harry walked to the door carefully, and swung on the door a moment. "Miss?"

"Yes Harry?"

"Thank you" he said, his voice a half whisper, "You're a very nice lady." Then he shut the door behind him.

Instantly, Miss Smyth flicked out her mobile phone. Although she knew that she should phone the police, she was so…shocked at what she has just seen, she had to call her brother, Leonard.

Leonard was a wizard. Miss Smyth was not, though she was born into a wizard family. She was a squib. And having feared for her life, but for this little boy in her care, she needed someone to talk to who she knew would understand this.

Leonard had kindly charmed the phone for her, so she could contact him with it, as she could hardly work the floo system, let alone the various networks of fireplaces around the world. Leonard picked up the phone quickly. "Hello, Hyacinth!"

"Leonard, you would not…"

"'Cinth, this is not a good moment to be calling right now, this better be…."

"…I have Harry Potter in my class."

There was a long, pregnant pause.

"What?"

"I have Harry Potter in my class, he has the scar and everything. He's currently living with his muggle Family, but…they aren't treating him well…"

"Not treating him well, but he's…"

"Leonard, that doesn't matter, do you know anyone at the ministry that could help me get him out?"

"What makes you think he's being badly treated? He's meant to be in hiding right now, you can't just pull him out for no reason!"

"He has a bruises the size of a fist on his neck and arm. That's reason enough for me." He hissed down the phone.

"OH Merlin. That is a reason."

"Indeed. Anything you can do to help?"

"Do you have any documents, any proof?" Leonard demanded, "If you do, I'll open up a floo portal near where you are, and you can send them through."

"I…I do." Said Miss Smyth, looking through the various papers on her desk, "I made copies of the ones I gave to the school, I can have them sorted out for you in five minutes."

"Good girl." Leoard said, patronisingly. Miss Smyth inwardly sighed. Her family had the bad habit of treating her as if she were born mentally handicapped because she was a squib, rather than simply a person who couldn't do magic. As she considered this, Leonard said, "What's he like, 'Cinth? As a person? I always imaged Harry Potter would grow up to be a bright boy, a brave boy, y'know."

"He is," she sighed, as she walked to the window, watching him, "anyone who could live in a house like he does, and not give up is brave. And he's bright, though he doesn't always show it…" and she feel silent.

"No, no…" she whispered. She saw black hair and black robes. A man with greasy hair and a hook nose. A face that she knew, but didn't know the name of. The face of a deatheater. She swore she'd seen him, those night, those night's she'd prayed to stay alive. How many times had she been chased down the road by kids in black robes, sneered at, legs broken with hexes before they beat her up? And now…he was here. Now. Near Harry, the boy that destroyed his maste…and then a sickening feeling flooded through her, making her heart beat like a drum machine. No. He had taken the boy's hand…no, no, she's had to…

"'Cinth, what's going on?" Leonard demanded

"I've got to stop him…"

"'Cinth, what is it?" he hissed down the phone.

"I think there's a death eater there…" She weezed down the phone, "Oh God, there are all the muggle children, and there's a death eater there…" Miss Smyth slammed the door open and sprinted down the corridor covered in construction paper and poster-paint pictures "Get someone here now! I'm going to do what I can…"

"'Cinth, stay on the…"Miss Smyth turned off the phone and ran out of the double doors to the playground. The man, in the robes, talking to Harry…holding him in his arms. She felt her stomach flip at the sick, cruel irony of it all.

The deatheater, however, obviously knew a threat when he saw it too. "HARRY!" She screamed loudly, "Harry!"

The man quickly scooped Harry into his arms, and in a second that lasted a lifetime, she saw him; Long, greasy black hair, ugly hook nose, sallow skin like he didn't know sunlight and eyes, eyes that viewed her with malice…she took all this in before he disappeared in a flash on nothingness.

He was Gone, as if he'd never been there in the first place. Gone. Missing…

Apparated.

Miss Smyth stood there in stunned silence, the children playing around her as if they had seen nothing at all.

And in her shock, Miss Smyth knew that, for the first time in twenty years, she'd be forced to return to the wizarding world.

* * *

Hi hi

I hope that sparks your interest! I'm not sure how long this is going to be and hope that the OC didn't put anyone off! From now on, it's going to be mostly Snape and Harry, but I'd never read a story before where Snape is accidentally mistaken as a child snatcher! I will explain a bit more as we go on, but I want to use Miss Smyth as a sort of narrator for us, so we can fully understand how seriously this is taken, whilst allowing Snape and Harry some "parenting" time.

Anyway, please leave some feedback, either way!

1 NUT – the British Teacher's Union.


	2. Sanctuary

Chapter 2 -

Chapter 2 – Sanctuary.

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AN: In response to this challenge, though not sure how I'm going to get Lupin in! /thechallenge.htm

Also, when writing, I am realising how much I'm influenced by TV. And, more importantly, Trashy TV. Don't get me wrong, "Without a trace" and "House are awesome and far better than a lot of TV, but as I read this, I giggle at home much this story seems to read like a cross between the two. (well, the non snape-harry bits anyway) Please put up with my criminological bull-shit, and the idea of "Magical signatures" being left after magical people leave a place. It kinda works, I think…unless anyone hates it, I may Unashamedly write a few scenes of Mad-eye Moody in full-on house mode discussing the case!

Please tell me if I'm adding too many new characters – I'm worried I am, though most of them won't get much screentime. Anyway, this is quiet early in the morning for me, so please tell me if I've made any massive mistakes! I can fix them!

* * *

"And he shall be for a sanctuary; but for a stone of stumbling and for a rock of offence to both the houses of Israel, for a gin and for a snare to the inhabitants of Jerusalem."

Isaiah 8:4

* * *

Chapter 2 - Sanctuary

Harry didn't scream. He wanted to, but he couldn't, not now. He was gone. He had left his aunt and Uncle behind. Things could only get better from here. He buried his head into the fusty black fabric of Severus' Robe, hiding his face. HE couldn't let Severus know that he was scared. Miss Smyth had always been nice to him, even when others weren't. It scared to see her shouting like she was.

It didn't help that he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach again. The warm, musty smell of leather and cauldron smoke soothed him, thought certain not his stomach.

"Harry, " Severus whispered, "we're here now."

"H-home?" Harry moan softly.

"Yes,… home" Severus said softy, considering the word, amused.

Harry finally extracted himself from the cloak. Harry, to be honest, had never expected this day to come, he had, at one point, believed he'd half dreamed it, but even in the cold light of day, the grey, cramp Terrance housing looked like the Elysian fields to him. Harry vaguely remembered Uncle Vernon saying something about Terrance housing to Dudley, once, turned out a boy in their class lived in some. Uncle Vernon banned Dudley from speaking to him again, because, apparently, his house said that "he's not our sort, boy, he's common. You need friends of your own kind, that boy won't come to much."

Well, anything his Uncle hated, but this man did, couldn't be all that bad, could it?

Severus carried him a little further up the street, past the drives with little cars in them and neat and tidy gardens, up to a house which has a distinctly _untidy_ feel about it, like it wasn't lived in very often. The front garden was neglected, weeds chocking the blacked stalks of the remaining flowers, the grass a bright green army standing to ankle-length attention.

However, this was rather forgivable, considering what was outside next door's house. A group of about six young people, giggling together, sat outside on the abused plastic garden furniture, eating a box of cakes with their hands and drinking gin from a variety of awful novelty mugs1. Severus shook his head at the scene, a little embarrassed Harry had to see this. He had only truly taken on his duties as his father and yet he had already exposed Harry to the kind of thing he shouldn't have to see.

One of the people at the table stood up and waved, "hi, hi! Are you Mr Snape?"

Severus turned around. If looks could kill, the look on his face would have caused a genocide.

"Hi…" said the girl, a little deflated, "I guess we're your new neighbours for the year! We're students at the University here. I hope we can get on this year." The girl then looked at the tired, sick and slightly scared bundle in his arms. "Oh, is this your son?"

Harry looked up, and clung to Severus' for dear life.

"Y-yes, he is." Severus said, "But we've had a long day, so, thank you for introducing yourself, but we've really got to go…"

"All right." She smiled, "He's a real cutie, going to grow up to be a heartbreaker. Nice to meet you."

Severus opened the door and went inside, shutting it behind him with a thump. In the safety of his dark, dank home, he suddenly let out a long sigh of relief. It was all over. Or all starting, he couldn't decide. But right now, something in his life was very different. He was no longer the lonely spy with nothing on his mind except potions and bitter resentment, he was now a father. A father to a boy who the world though was the son of the man he hated, but a father nevertheless.

Severus put the boy down gently and knelt down to his eye-level. "Well, I should show you where your room is! You're going to be living here from now on!"

Harry nodded and forced himself to smile. He followed Severus up the stairs, taking in the dull browns and faded greens of the hall, breathing in the smell of mothball dust and cold decay. He felt…nervous. He'd never been here before – what if he did something bad, without knowing? Like step on the creaky floorboard before Severus was awake? Or pushed the shelf that was a bit unstable, and break everything on it? He already had red welts on his back from the last time he dropped a plate – he didn't want to get his new…father…angry already. Harry made a point of not touching the peeling wallpaper, in case he left marks.

Up two flights of carpeted stairs, Severus came to a door that was a little different to the plain brown doors they had passed. Harry could see marks on the front of the door, like little grease spots and it seemed smaller, somehow. Severus opened the door.

Harry gasped. The room was small and bare, an attic room with wooden beams and a sloping roof. Aside from a child's desk and chair, and a couple of bookshelves crammed with musty schoolbooks, the only other thing in the room was a modest bed, tucked away neatly in the corner, bedcovers a faded green with a silver snake on it.

"This used to be my room when I was your age." Severus mumbled.

Harry stepped into the room, and breathed it in. It was the only room in the house so far that had any light in it, illuminated by the dirty sky-light. Harry headed for it like a moth to a flame, and standing under it, practically bathed in it.

"It's your room, now." Severus said.

Harry turned around to him, and gasped, "Really? All this? for me?"

"It's not a great room, but it's habitable for now, and I still need to clean up the other rooms…"

"Do I get the bed as well?" Asked Harry, unconcerned by the lack of decorating.

"…and then we'll see about moving yo…of course you get the bed!" He snapped, shocked that Harry could think such a thing.

Harry shrank back a little, scared by his anger.

"I mean, it wouldn't be a bedroom without a bed, would it?"

Harry's eyes lit up like the jackpot on a fruit machine. He ran over to Severus, and threw himself at him, hugging him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He shouted, smiling, "I've always wanted a bed!"

Severus', even though he knew Harry had slept in the cupboard since he was two, still felt his heart break a little. He held Harry close to him and said, "Well, it's your birthday in two days – you're going to be very easy to buy for!"

* * *

Oddly enough, the Ministry of Magic turned up before the Muggle police did. The teacher's had taken the other children indoors and put Smyth's class in front of a video to keep them calm whilst she talked to both the ministry and the police.

"So, are you sure he disappeared, Miss?" Asked the muggle policeman, "Couldn't he have walked away whilst you were distracted?"

"Distracted, what could I have been distracted with? A pupil of mine was in danger!"

Mad eye Moody had been assigned to this case. He hadn't been the same since the war and as such, as a bit of a relic the ministry couldn't get rid of. So they sent him out on jobs like this, the ones they don't believe are important.

"Hmm, that is true miss. Have you checked the roof?"

"Twice, three times…"

"…y'see, Miss, you theory would be some good if we could find any trace of an apparate in the area, but there's nothing. This place is as dry of magic as the sahara is of water."

"Look, I _saw_ the boy disappear, and the man! Aren't either of you concerned that Harry Potter, _Harry Potter the boy that lived_, has gone missing!"

"Miss, " said the policeman, "if he's important to your lot, why would one of your own take him away?"

"Because the man who took him was a _deatheater!_" Smyth raged, "I remember seeing him when they were hunting down squibs and mudbloods!"

Mad eye Moody's good eye rolled in its socket, "I keep telling you, all the deatheaters are either in Azkaban, or too scared to sneeze in case they get the ministry on them. They wouldn't do something like this."

"Then…check all the deatheaters!" Smyth hissed, "…I'm going to get blamed for this…"

"No one's blaming you" said the policeman, "you weren't on duty when the kid went missing. Maybe he did some magic, y'know – he'll turn up in a few days. Seen a few like that recently, little girl went missing recently, only to return with sweets and a tale how she ended up in the cadburies chocolate factory."

"No, no, this is different" mad eye Moody said pensively, "Do you know that it'll be the boy's birthday in two days? And he disappears with what appears to be a deatheater, only there are no signs of magic. This is a puzzle indeed." He turned around and shouted at one of the three Auror's performing tests on various parts of the playground, "You guys find anything?"

The man walked up to him and said, "Harry Potter was definitely here. There's a magic signature which matches up to his, but the odd thing is, it's three days old. It's like he disappears after that, but Miss Smyth took a muggle photo yesterday of Harry."

"Perhaps this Harry was an illusion? Perhaps he was taken day's before?"

"It's a possibility sir." Said his assistant earnestly.

"I'm afraid not, sir, "said Moody's female assistant, "I checked his desk and found fingerprints from this morning. No illusion is so perfect to do that."

"Hmm, Jeremy, do you mind bringing yourself and your superintendent along to the Ministry, so we can get a help from the muggle police in finding him. The most important thing is not to let anyone know for a few more days. This could cause a national panic and that would not help."

There was the sound of something coming from nothingness. All the people on the scene turned around, hurridly.

Before them stood a swat, woman who liked like a toad jammed into a dolls dress.

"HARRY POTTER MISSING!" She shouted, "MOODY! The whole ministry is buzzing with this rumour! You can't trust what squibs have to say, though, so I demand that you tell me the truth of the matter!"

Miss Smyth visibly flinched as Umbridge's words. It had been a while since she's been spoken about like a mentally deficient child by a complete stranger.

"Dolories, I need you to not panic…" Mad eye Moody started.

"…it's true?" She finished.

"Yes." He replied, rolling his eyes (though in opposite directions).

"Then we need a crack team here, everyone in the ministry needs to stop what they're doing and come here! We need to lock up this squib and get as much information out of her as possible! This is a scandal!"

Mad eye facepalmed loudly. The word was out. It'd take at most a day and a half for the whole world to know. He only had that time to track down the boy before people started getting in the way.

* * *

Epp! I'm quiet enjoying this vaguely thriller feeling about this! As for how Harry and Snape know each other already, I will fully explain over the next couple of chapters, though do say if something else doesn't make sense!

I won't be updating daily from now on (I think that is forgivable) But until I get myself into a routine, I will update often, then decide on a day per week a new chapter goes up (need to see how the next one goes…)

'Til next time!

1 This is the best Method to recover from all night clubbing after two hours sleep on someone's floor. Especially if the night before involved skanking in 5 inch heels.


	3. Discovery

Chapter 3 – Discovery

Authors note –

Hmm, To show you exactly how much crappy TV I watch, does anyone else think that "Dr Horrible's sing-a-long blog" is possibly the most perfect representation of the Snape-Lily-James triangle? I mean, Penny/Felicity day even has red hair! I keep imagining a Harry Potter version of this musical…

I've also been having what can only be described as "Third album syndrome" problems with this chapter – I'm glad so many people are reading this, and I don't want to disappoint them, so when it came to this one, I wasn't sure what to do. I think it should be a good balance between Harry/Snape cuteness and Mad-Eye Moody House-ness, but I want to know what you guys think – also, my three aurors need names, so any ideas?

Also, for some reason the song "Spiral staircase" by Elf power seems oddly appropriate for this entire story. I will probably end up quoting chunks of it.

* * *

Chapter 3 – Discovery.

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge.

**Daniel J. Boorstin**  
_US historian (1914 - )_

Whilst mad-eye moody was desperately trying to figure out how a man could disappear without leaving a trace of magical or muggle evidence, Severus had cooked a lunch, eaten in the silence that only mildly uncomfortable and the half starved shared in common and had decided that Harry, who was looking like an urchin from a Victorian book, needed a bath. However, Harry was not exactly compliant in this matter.

"Now, come on Harry, don't be so silly!" said Severus, catching Harry by his flapping, oversized sleeve, "When did you last have a bath?"

"Nooo….I don't waaaaant oooone!" Harry whined, falling to the ground in the wet noodle position, "Please don't maaaake meeee…"

"Harry, you're filthy, and you've had a long day – you need one."

"Noooooo" Harry stood up, and started pulling away, desperately. Severus' was in no mood to play any silly game. The boy looked like he hadn't had a bath in a week and he was dammed it he was going to allow his son to bath in his own filth. Those people who dared to call themselves his guardians might, but not him.

"Come on!" Severus' grabbed him by the scruff of the neck as Harry, half surprised, was dragged backwards until he dug his heels in and fought against him. Severus was half impressed at his effort before the thin fabric of his extra large poloshirt gave way and ripped.

Harry fell straight forward, onto his face with a loud smack.

Both of them were silent, for different reasons for a moment before Harry let out a loud howl and started to cry. "I…I do..don't want tooo…"

"Oh Merlin, Harry…" Severus was aware of how bad things had got there, but until now he hadn't actually _seen_ it as such.

He was scarily thin, every rib and every notch in his spine poking out awkwardly and uncomfortably, like pins through a balloon. His back was a mixture of angry red welts and crusting cuts, which luckily had not got infected. Harry, the rest of his skirt sliding off sobbed, "d…don't m..m…m…m…m…ake…meeeee"

"Oh Merlin, Harry," Severus repeated, "are these why you don't want a bath?" he said pointing at his back.

"The…water makes it hurt." Harry whispered between another sob.

Severus' took pity on the poor child, and knelt down. Harry, a little hesitant at first, padded over and hugged Severus hard. Severus hugged back, not wanting to let him go. He was seething with rage, rage at the people who had left Harry with those…bastards. He raged at James Potter, in his mind, for not saving Lily, so his son would have had someone to look after him rather than being left to the perverted world of the muggles. He raged at Dumbledore, who had told him not to go after him, even though Severus had finally worked out where Harry was. How could he have left the boy like this? He must have known, he must have! He hugged Harry so tight that he felt his nails dig into his skin.

"Harry, I'm going to make it all better, but you need a bath first. I need to make you clean, so I can make those wounds hurt less. Do you understand?"

Harry breathed raggedly through his sobbing and nodded.

"Did you not want me to see these, Harry?" asked Severus.

"U..Uncle Vern…" Severus hushed the boy, but harry continued to say, "h..h..hh.eeee told me…not..to let anybody…see…or they'd take me away…a.a.aaand lock me away..I want…to_ stay_!"

"Nobody is going to take you away, "Severus said, trying to calm down the five year old, "No, I'm going to make those wounds all better, and no one's going to come and take you away." He knew he was lying through his teeth, but if Harry had even the vaguest of ideas of the alarm his absence would cause, he would be impossible to deal with. Severus was relying on the Dursley's not reporting Harry missing for at least two days, if not a week. The only possible problem is that teacher who saw him, but he dismissed it in his mind; she was a muggle, the ministry wouldn't trust anything she said.

The only possible threat is that Mad Eye Moody got a sniff of it and started to investigate. Mad Eye, might be paranoid, skittish, wand happy and a complete liability for smooth running of any organisation, but he'd be the only person who had either the experience or inclination to work out how Severus had done it. Managed to vanish with no magic or muggle means. It was very important that he had at least a two day head start on the ministry, if he wanted to keep Harry, keep him safe from those…muggles Lily had the audacity to call family. Looking at what they'd done to his…their son, he wouldn't dare call them human, let alone related.

Severus took Harry into the small bathroom on the second floor, and ran the water for the bath whilst pointing at the airing cupboard for Harry to go grab some towels. Harry did as he was told, and pulled open the cupboard with his full weight, then, on tiptoe, reached up and pulled on the lowest towel, which thankfully fell down without the others on top falling down.

"Now, finish getting undressed, and get in the bath." Severus said, turning around to root about in the cupboard under the sink.

Harry placed the towel next to the bath.

"Are you getting changed?" Asked Severus, slightly annoyed.

"How deep is the water?" Asked Harry.

"Not deep enough to drown you in" Severus joked, but suddenly realised that this joke was incredibly mis-placed. He was quiet for a second and asked, "Harry, they didn't used to…"

"j..just when I was really bad. I deserved it…I know I deserve it now…for showing…you…"

"Harry, no! I just want to clean you!" Severus replied, shocked, "I promise I'm not going to hurt you! "

"B..but…"

"Harry, you get into the bath, and wash yourself. I won't lay a finger on you in that bath, alright? Then I'll sort out the medicine I need to help your back feel better, so once you're all nice and clean, call for me."

Harry nodded, and climbed into the bath, slipping into the water. He stared at Severus expectantly. Severus, having forgot himself, left the room. Once the door was closed, Harry closed his eyes, and slipped under the water, breathing out. He'd never really had a bath before. He'd washing himself with wet rags and with a bucket of cold water, but the idea of _sitting_ in _warm_ water without anyone else to hurt him was _exciting_. It still felt surreal, like the daydreams he'd had before, the ones about having a loving family, the one about having gone to the park, where he'd had a big yellow dog called Padfoot1 and go on the climbing frame and play in the mud and then he'd have a bath and go to bed after dinner and be kissed goodnight. He'd be in a bath with bubbles and a rubber duck, maybe a submarine to! Like the one Dudley had! Maybe bigger! And his parents would still laugh and kiss...Aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon no longer kissed. They were the best dreams of all.

It had all started one day, when he was in the garden. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley had gone out together, and left him in the garden to pull the weeds and prune the dead heads off the plants. Harry remembered being happy about this, because at least he wasn't in the cupboard and it was a warm day outside, so he wouldn't be cold. He had been working for quiet a while, when he first saw him. It must have been about lunchtime, because Harry felt as if he had a hole the size of his head in his stomach. The Gardening was going…slowly…Petunia loved growing roses and flowering bushes, and his fingers were a bleeding mess of pricks, not to mention nicks from the sheers themselves. He'd managed to cut the grass with them (Uncle Vernon said that the grass looked best when cut by hand) but the bushes were…harder. Especially only being three foot eight high, and needing to cut six foot bushes. He'd been balancing on a garden chair that had been left outside by accident when he heard a polite voice cough behind him.

Harry turned to see who it was, and promptly fell to the ground. Standing there was a tall man with flowing black robes, long, greasy black hair and a hook nose that poked out awkwardly from between strands of his hair.

"Excuse me, " he said, "Where are your guardians?"

"Uncle Vernon?" He answered, a little bewildered, "they've gone to a Theme park with Dudley."

"Theme park?" asked the stranger.

"Yes – it's where you go on rollercoasters which go reaaaaally high, then go down really fast, and there are giant squirrels and ice cream, and tea cup rides, which are for babies, but are really fun…"

"Yes, yes, but I need to speak to them. Perhaps I can talk to whomever is looking after you today?"

"Today…nobody." Said Harry, "Mrs Figg is ill."

"I…see" said the stranger, seeming slightly irritated with him, " so what are you doing out here on your own?"

"I'm Gardening." Said Harry cheerfully.

"It's a very tidy garden. Do you usually look after it?"

"Yes, I do" said Harry, "I try to do a good job, but I'm not very good…" Harry's stomach gurgled.

"Hmm, are you hungry?" Asked the stranger.

"I'm not meant to take food from strangers; teacher said." Replied Harry, innocently.

"Who said I was going to offer you food?" Demanded the man.

Harry shrunk back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything…it's just I'm really hungry…"

"Hmm, you should have eaten a better breakfast" The man snorted.

"What breakfast?" asked Harry.

The man stopped in his tracks, just a moment before he said, "When do you have lunch today?"

"…Lunch?"

"The thing you eat after Breakfast."

"I broke a plate yesterday – I have to pay for it somehow."

"So, you haven't have lunch or breakfast today?"

"No."

The man didn't seem to know what to say, but tired anyway. "When will your guardians be in, then?"

"I don't know. I hope it's before dark. I don't like the dark. There are bad things in the dark, like Dogs with big glowing eyes…"

The man seemed to lose his patience and hissed, "So you haven't been fed, no one's looking after you and you could possibly be left outside half the night?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry, "said the stranger, "I'll be back. But before I go, I want to give you a couple of things." The stranger than brought out a wand and waved it in the air, a plateful of sandwiches appearing.

"Wow!" gasped Harry, and jumped on them, his teacher's well intentioned words forgotten.

"Don't wolf them down, or you'll feel sick." Said the stranger, "Now here, have this."

The man waved a wand, and a black jumper appeared. "Wear this if you get cold. It will disappear once your family return home. "

"T..thank you!" stammered Harry.

"I'm coming back for you, " said the man, "don't forget that. "

"Sir…" Her turned around, ripped a rose from the bush, and was about to give it to him, when he realised that the man was already gone. The rose-head dropped in his hand. He would probably never see him again.

But, thought Harry, he'd been wrong. He'd seen him again. And Again. He must have seen him every other day for weeks and weeks before…now. He was here. In the man's home. In his father's home. Yes, the Dursley's were wrong – his dad hadn't died at all…

* * *

"I need your CONSTANT Vigilance!" Barked Mad-Eye Moody at his team of three trainee Aurors, "Now, what do we know about this case!"

Mad Eye Moody walked to the board and picked up the chalk. "Right, we know that they boy is Harry Potter, we also know that he is gone. We know whoever took them didn't use magic and we also know that the particular muggle means are either so intricate than no man would hope to understand them, or didn't exist. What conclusions from this do we draw?"

"I did another scan of the area, we know that about three days ago, Harry's magical signature started to fade." Said the male Auror,"This would have prevented him from performing any kind of magic. We have to assume that the man who took Harry had done this too…"

"What if the man wasn't one of us? What if he was a muggle who kidnapped children? " said the female Auror, "The muggle police have been hunting down a Paedophile ring in the area for a long while…."

"Thank you miss muggle-studies, but that does not help!" Interrupted Mad eye, "this is not some muggle paranoid fantasy…"

"The rings have lots of practise!" The female Auror added, "they often go after children who are alone, unhappy at home, Harry could have felt out of place in a muggle home easily…"

"Better, but you have forgotten one thing; taking a child from a school is very difficult, too many witnesses, too many hysterical women demanding to see you ID and paperwork…no upstanding monster of the community would risk being seen so easily! I say we investigate that teacher- she said she saw a deatheater, and that seems too specific."

"She was upset, she could have seen anyone and thought they were a death-eater because of Harry" Said the male Auror.

Mad eye signed. "No, she's lying about something. I can smell it. There's something distinctly odd about her. Right, two of you, go to see her tonight, check out her house if possible, remember, CONSTANT! VIGILANCE! Missy, you're staying here with me!"

"Why? Because I'm a muggles studies specialist? I'm not useful?" She snapped.

"No, because if you think it's a muggle kidnapping, you're going to figure out how he could first of all, disappear, and secondly, make a wizard a muggle. Oh yes, and I want you to run some tests on some personal items of Harry's Jeremy managed to get from the school for us, see what we can find out about both this Harry and our man."

Mad eye Moody looked at the aurors still standing around, and snapped, "Get On with it!"

The door swung open – "Not so fast, Moody." There Dolores Uxbridge stood, looking like a frog shoved into a Barbie dress, grinning the grin of reptilians everywhere when they find a particularly nice rock to sleep on. "I'm in charge of this case now. All of you stay here, I've sent out a team to search the school for Harry, in case he's hiding anywhere, then return him to the Dursely's. They've been _most_ helpful in our enquiries."

"…Oh shut up, you old Toad." Moody sighed, before nodding at his team to leave.

"Excuse me, are you undermining my authority?" Said Dolores in a voice so sweet it could give you diabetes.

"Why, yes, I think I am." Mad eye grinned, copying her tone.

Dolores grin suddenly began to suck lemons. "I think you'll find that I am officially in charge of this case, now."

"..and I think you'll find that unless something more interesting turns up, I'll be working on it."

Dolores' face fell like wet cake. "You realise I can make life, very, very difficult for you?"

"Yes. The thing is, you don't realise I can make your life difficult too. I can drag you down, like you saggy old fun-sacks."

"Oh, insults about my physical appearance, how original" Dolores sneered, "Is this because I'm a woman, Moody?"

"No, it's because you're pig ugly and PIG IGNORANT!" Moody enunciated as clearly and loudly as he could. "You might be in charge, but I'm still the best Auror to survive the war. If anyone is going to work out this mess, and believe me, you'll soon realise how big this mess is, it's going to be me."

"I'll have him in his rightful home by sunrise." Dolores smiled, "Whilst you play your little paranoid games."

Mad eye Moody laughed bitterly. "Sure you will, remind me in the morning, won't you? I enjoy a good laugh, me!"

* * *

"Now, this is going to sting a bit Harry, " said Severus, "But it'll make these heal quicker."

Harry nodded. He had already drunk the horrible potion Severus had asked him to drink for him, and now…the stinging pain on his back was nothing. He breathed in a little, but quiet enjoyed someone touching him in a friendly way. Harry had never fell such…love in a touch.

Severus carefully applied the beige ointment any the open wounds immediately began to scab up and the welts immediately came down in size. He'd made up a special batch; as technically you weren't suppose to add so much **s**uperoxide dismutase as he had to the mixture, but it seemed to do the trick. He'd heel up overnight and the potion he'd given to Harry would let him sleep better through the pain.

Severus' finished by wrapping Harry's torso with bandages, to keep the ointment from rubbing off, and sat back, Harry slipping into one of Severus' shirts which he was using as a make-shift nightgown.

"Right, go to sleep Harry, we're going on a long trip tomorrow and I need you rested up." Said Severus, trying to stand up until I little hand grabbed his and refused to let go. "What is it?" he sighed.

"Severus…can you tell me a story? Before I go to sleep?" Harry asked.

"A…a story?" Severus asked. He'd always been under the impression that he was a poor story teller. "Well, I can try…"

"A bedtime story!" Harry grinned with glee, "I've always wanted one! Can it have a dragon? And a princess?"

"Harry, anything you want! " Severus laughed, trying not to reveal how silly he thought Harry sounded, asking for such a simple thing. He didn't know any stories, and he wasn't entirely sure where the books from his childhood had gone. So Severus told Harry the only story he knew how to tell.

"Well, Harry, one day there was a Dragon living in a faraway land, and he lived in a horrible, ugly cave full of bats which used to argue all the time over the scraps left over from the Dragon's meals. The Dragon himself was an ugly, unlovable beast; his scales were as black as coal, his snout bent in an unpleasant way, his claws were large and dirty and his wings had been cut to streds by the bats in the cave, leaving them like large ripped sails. The dragon was very unhappy as the bats used to bite him if they did not have enough and the dragon didn't have any friends. However, one day, on a hunt for food, he saw the King's daughters, playing. Of all his daughters, Li…la was the loveliest of them all, with long red hair and eyes that sparkled like emeralds, just like yours Harry.

"So one day, the dragon went up to the daughters, and demanded to speak to Lila. The other princesses were scared of the Dragon, but Lila was not and soon they Dragon and Lila became firm friends. They would play for hours together, and the Dragon forgot about the terrible bats in his cave, whilst the princess, who'd never met anyone quiet like the dragon, enjoyed his company and touched his scales like no one had ever touched them before. In fact it would be accurate to say that the Dragon and the Princess fell in love with each other. To prove this, the Dragon gave the princess a golden egg, his most prized possession and told her to keep it safe. The princess, a person of her word, treasured the egg as if it were her own child.

"However, the royal court did not like this, so they sent a Dragon Killer after the Dragon. The Dragon killer was a tall, handsome man, who was also in love with the Princess. Why, he made all the princesses turn heads, but not Lila. She was indifferent to him, disliking his cocky manner and rude manner to the paupers of the town. She tried to protect the Dragon for as long as she could, but the Dragon Killer was good at his job. He also knew that the princess knew where the Dragon was, and every day asked her where he slept. Every day, the princess replied, "I cannot tell you, for he is my love." Day after day for a full year she replied in this manner when he came to the Royal court, no matter what he did or said, she always replied with the same thing. However, the dragon killer was a determined man, and after a year managed to convince the Princess that he was a good man, a kind man who would look after her and care for her, if only she did not liove the dragon any longer! Soon the princess did not know where to turn to – the ugly dragon, or the handsome, strong Dragon Killer! But she held her ground and did not tell the Dragon Killer where the Dragon was.

Yet one day, when she went to see the Dragon, the Dragon killer followed her, and when he saw where the cave was, he noted it down and returned to the palace. After he asked her where the Dragon was, one last time, he returned at midnight to kill the dragon and slaughtered him.

He returned to the palace, and said to the king "I have killed the Dragon, I wish for your princess' hand in marriage." The king was so overjoyed, he immediately said yes, and they married in the next week. . Lila was sad for a while, but the Dragon had given her a gift before he died – an egg, a golden egg. Not realising what it truly was, Lila gave the egg to the Dragon Hunter, as a gift of her love. The Dragon hunter, a man who loved all things gold, instantly fell in love with it too and decided he would marry the princess so he could possess both the egg and the princess who kept it. The dragon hunter was still an arrogant, vain man and soon the princess fell out of what little love she had for him, but remembered the egg. She held it up to her heart and said "oh Egg, why did I choose this man over my Dragon?" Then she began to cry, as she'd never cried before; she realised that the Dragon Killer was not the person she loved, it was the dragon! If only she could bring it back!

"Suddenly the egg began to crack, and out popped the most handsome prince! The Princess was shocked, but the Handsome man, with Hair the same colour as the dragon's scales, a handsome, Aquiline nose and eyes which shined like the night sky. The Prince, when he was much younger, had been turned into a Dragon by a passing witch, telling him that he could only become a prince if he could convince anyone to love him as deeply and as truly as the princess had. The Princess left the Dragon Killer that very instant, and the Prince took her back to his Kingdom, where they became King and Queen toogeather and live very happily together, forever, ever after."

Severus looked down, and realised Harry had already gone to sleep. Severus sighed, and tried to leave, but Harry had held onto his hand, lightly, dreamingly, but he didn't have the heart to make him let go.

Feeling very tired himself, Severus lay his head down on the bed, next to the boy's, and felt his eyes close. He didn't realise until the sun crept through the skylight the next day that he had slept through the night by him.

* * *

I though the ending was cute! Next chapter I going to be pretty cute too! Trust me! Again, I quiet enjoyed writing Uxbridge vs. Moody, it was delightfully bitchy and unnecessarily mean.

I apologise for the length of this chapter – It was meant to be about half this length, but when I tried splitting it in two, it didn't flow right, so ended up with this behemoth of a chapter.

I'm also going to finally explain how Snape got Harry away and temporarily got rid of their magic powers, but it wouldn't be a mystery if I explained first of all!

I also have a feeling that next chapter might come in a T rated and M rated version.

Anyway, thank you for reading, please do leave a comment, just to let me know if I'm doing the right thing with this story, or not.

1 Yes, siruis is a black dog, but I like the idea of mixed memories


	4. Anomalous

Chapter 4 – Anomalous

I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing with this chapter, but there should be some clues in this chapter to what has happened and what will happen. Its oddly linier, this story, especially as I can see the end and the majority of events. I hope you can forgive the time it has taken to write this 4th chapter, but it game me some trouble. The next one is coming along interestingly.

Again, this chapter is just under five thousand words, which seems a bit long for a chapter, but let me know how it seems. Again, I'm not one hundred percent sure exactly how the next chapter will pan out, but I'm hoping it'll work out fine. Anyway, onwards!

* * *

"There is not one big cosmic meaning for all, there is only the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person."

Anais Nin 

* * *

Severus left the room at about six, feeling unrested and exhausted, but somehow satisfied. He went to the small, dingy kitchen, and looked in the fridge his father had demanded over thirty years earlier – it was rather useful, he had to concede, at least right now.

He smiled to himself, and pulled his wand out of his pocket, and gave it a quick flick. It sparked a little, but fizzled out quickly. Good. His magic would most likely be back to its full strength in a week, and certainly workable in three days. Right now he was vulnerable, but he had expected to be. He knew that if anyone was sensible enough to track his magical signature, he'd be discovered in less than a minute, have Harry taken away, be put in Askaban most likely and Harry would probably be dead by the end of the year. It was safer this way.

Severus saw what he had in the fridge. Butter, Milk, some vegetables, most of a pack of sausages, cheese. It was fairly bare, but again, he had to save his money for now. He wasn't entirely sure where he would go next; that part of the plan he had neglected, much to his regret now, but the sudden realisation that it was still possible someone, somewhere could track him down was suddenly coming into his mind. He had saved a little money from his job supplying potions to a semi-legal apocathary, the only job he'd cared to do until two months ago and was on the edge of his contract being terminated for not supplying enough, quick enough. After today, he'd have to find some way to keep Harry entertained whilst he worked.

He heard a pair of small feet pad into the kitchen and looked around. Harry had dressed himself as best as he could, in his massively oversized jeans, tied together with an old belt and his nightshirt, now tucked into the waistband. He looked faintly ridiculous, like he'd been playing dress up in his father's wardrobe. He decided that he'd take Harry out that day, get him some new clothes and buy him a few books and toys. Hell, he'd taken him from the Dursely's, and had left everything of Harry's behind, not that they'd been much in that little cupboard of his.

First of all, though, he's have to go get changed.

After fixing a filling (if not entirely nutritious) breakfast of buttered toast and cheese sandwiches, Severus went to go get changed into his muggle clothes. He, naturally, didn't keep many, but from his small selection he chose a pair of over-washed black jeans and a musty smelling velvet jacket, and very briefly agonised over whether he ought to wear his favourite black blouse or try and fit in more with the hideous black t-shirt with a snake on it he'd found in a charity shop1. He decided he ought to go incognito over stylish. With this though, he found a grubby looking fedora and placed it so it cast a shadow over his face.

As his magic wasn't fully back, he had to take the risk that Harry's disappearance had been reported in the Daily Prophet yet and take him into muggle territory. In true magical style, he took the bus into town, which rattled and shook violently as it travelled along the road, making Severus feel distinctly sick, regretting eating breakfast. His toes curled as he doubled up a little, hand over mouth, swearing never to complain about floo-ing again.

Harry, though, was getting excited, grinning from ear to ear as he gripped onto the rail in front of his seat. He was going shopping. It usually meant him carrying big bags of things whilst Dudley chose toys, but today it wouldn't. Today he'd get…he didn't actually know, but he knew that he'd be bought things and he wouldn't have to share them.

It seemed to take forever to get into town, whizzing by houses like they were big grey blurs and stopping with a jolt occasionally to allow a nice grandma or a grandfather on, who shuffled to their seat slowly and sat down. Eventually, though, they reach town and Harry shouted out, "We're in town now!"

"Good thing, " Severus muttered under his breath. Harry pushed the button (he'd never been allowed to push the button on the bus before) and it dinged as the "Bus Stopping" sign lit up. The bus juddered to a halt and Harry Jumped up, taking Severus' hand and lead the Car-sick man off the bus. Once Severus had regained his balance, he tried to regain his composure and said, "Right Harry, we're going to get some new clothes and shoes for you, then if you're good, we'll go toy shopping!"

Harry grinned like a monkey offered a Banana.

The shopping centre near spinners end was pretty run down; the shops were a mixture of lower end chains and pound stores, with groups of hardened woman shuffling from shop to shop with their groups of children, shouting at them occasionally to try and keep order. Severus felt a little out of place, but squeezing Harry's hand, took him into a large budget clothing store with a couple of faceless cloth mannequins in the window in boys clothes.

They walked past the women's clothing, Severus' eyes agog at how muggles _did_ clothing. Most robes and shirts were still made to order, or if it was pre-made, there would only be three or four of a particular kind of clothing out. However, there were piles and piles of clothing everywhere, unflatteringly illuminated under the harsh strip lighting. Harry seemed to be pull him in the right direction, so he followed, trying to ignore the unsettling faceless mannequins everywhere.

It took them a while to choose clothes. Partly because neither of them really had an opinion, but also because most of the shirts for boys bore legends such as "rebel!", "Daddies' little monster" and various aliens and robots from muggle TV shows Severus knew nothing of. After much searching for something less offensively tacky, Severus filled a basket up with new clothes for Harry, from socks and underwear to a winter coat and Wellington boots and everything in between. As Harry tried on his new clothes, he spun around, feeling like a pop star. Severus nodded vaguely and started wishing that wizards had clothing stores like this, so they could buy children's clothing more inexpensively.

About two hours later they emerged from the changing room, placing a pile about the same size as Harry (including a couple of black dress shirts for Severus) on the cashier's desk. The cashier's eyes nearly popped out of her head as she rung up the pile, muttering under her breath about the queue forming behind them. Severus remained stony faced whilst Harry practically jumped out and down in excitement.

"I've never seen a little boy so keen on clothes shopping!" Said the cashier innocently.

"These are _my_ clothes!" Harry said excitedly, "I got to pick them!"

The cashier laughed and said to Harry "You've got a whole new wardrobe here!"

"Yes! Da…Severus said I could have anything I wanted!"

"Haha, you'll be spoilt if you carry on like that!" said the cashier, placing the last things in the bag, "How're you paying for that, sir?"

Severus slowly counted out the muggle paper money and placed it on the counter. "Can we wear some of it out?" he asked.

"Yes, go to the changing room in a minute – all the tags are off." She beamed at him.

After a quick wardrobe change (Harry decided he wanted to dress like Severus and changed into a pair of black dress trousers and a black shirt, and, much to Harry's chagrin, had a red jumper forced on him) Severus decided it was time to break for lunch, his own patience worn thin. He hated shopping for clothes, but was glad to see Harry in something that fitted. Harry moved differently now, less like he was skulking and more like…a normal child. It actually shocked him how much a different set of clothes made him. But then again, Severus' knew what it was like to have something new that you didn't have to share, and that feeling had been overwhelming at the time. It almost didn't matter what he was wearing, rather that it was his.

Severus found himself ordering a hot meat sandwich and chips from a plastic restaurant almost exclusively staffed by disaffected teenagers. It certainly wasn't his normal fair, but Harry seemed to be happy with it, and whilst it had about as much flavour as cardboard lightly rubbed with lard, it was oddly filling.

As they sat there in the practically empty food court, Severus thought of something which was itching at him which he hadn't been able to express properly. Why hadn't Harry called him daddy? It seemed odd that he wasn't. He'd already explain, one lonely night in Harry's cupboard, that he was his father, and he'd come back for him, but he insisted on calling him Severus.

"You can call me dad, if you like" he muttered across the table.

"I know." Said Harry, not really understanding.

"I would…like you to. If you want." Said Severus', trying his best to seem as relaxed an unexpectant as possible.

"Really?"

"Yes." He said casually, "why not? I am your father."

"Okay." Replied Harry, concentrating on eating the last of his chips.

And that's how simple it was, mused Severus. He simply asked, and he received, though Harry tried hard that afternoon, shopping for new shoes, often forgetting and then clasping his hand over his mouth, as if scared of the reaction. However, as no reaction except mild amusement occurred, Harry forgot to do it after a while and started falling into the habit of calling him Dad. Thankfully the shop assistants in this town just thought Harry was a very funny, cute little boy. Once Harry had been fitted for new shoes (one pair of trainers, which cause the comically over-sized ones he'd inherited from Dudley to be thrown out immediately, though Severus though they ought to be burnt instead, and one pair of school shoes) the assistant, taken with the chatty little boy who beamed at everyone, gave Harry a Lolipop and some stickers, hardly believing a boy of his age could be so patient, let alone enthusiastic about shoes.

Severus' as promised, ended the day in a toyshop, and Harry reacted like madman, unsure if he wanted a toy, but overjoyed that he could have one. Severus looked at the sea of plastic and sighed. Wizard toys were so much better, they actually _did_ things. He remembered the toys of his youth – chess sets that spoken (even the battered old Pawns used to give unhelpful advice on tactics), flying brooms, soldiers that marched and obeyed your command. Well, he remembered other children having them, at least.

Yet in comparison, the still figurines and static dolls seemed so…dull. He walked a little further in, keeping within Harry's sightline, and came across the educational toys. This was a little better. He saw what looked like a child holding testubes on the box. A potions making kit? Close enough, he thought, a muggle chemistry kit. That would keep Harry busy for a while, it certainly kept Severus busy as a child! He placed it under his arm quietly, hoping Harry would be too excited to notice his birthday present.

Then Severus noticed a box of coloured bricks, a largish box, but certainly easy to carry with its big red plastic handle. He wondered what it was, and putting the bags of other shopping down, picked it up. "Lego" it said on the front. The box weighed more than he thought it would, but the picture on the front cheerfully informed him that the bricks could build anything, from a house to a boat, a castle to a car. He decided that in the absence of toys that did stuff, he'd buy one that at least could change what it was easily. It looked like he'd have to take Harry out again, which wouldn't be a problem after tomorrow…

"Oh hello again!" Smiled the assistant. It was his next door neighbour, the girl with the earnest grin.

"oh, hello" he mumbled, his pallid yellowish skin turning an unflattering shade of beetroot.

"Preparing for a wet afternoon, are you?" She asked innocently.

"Whu…err, yes. And it's his Birthday Tommorow."

"Oh, cool! How old is he?" She asked.

"Six." He answered quickly.

"Happy Birthday for him! Looks like you're taking it seriously." She said, staring at the many bulging bags Severus was struggiling with.

"You're only six once." He tried to joke, instead coming off as cold. He looked over at a gaudy coloured box standing on the counter, and gently opened it.

"Oh, that's a bestseller, " she said, "The mega art box. All the Pens, paints, chalks and pencils you could want for £10."

Severus mused this. "Can I have one of those?"

"Certainly" she smiled, going to get one off the shelf. She wrapped it up nicely, and put it in a plastic bag with the other toys. "Actually, Since you've spent so much here, I'm allowed to give you a free toy. You can choose from any on the back wall."

Severus examined the wall, and saw the cut price gaudy plastic figures and muggle dress-up kits, and was about to say it was alright, until he saw a rather pathetic looking stuffed Dragon, standing at about eight inches high, covered in dust. Its neck sagged slightly under the weight of its own head, it's wings were woefully under proportioned for its body, its fork tongue lolling out stupidly giving it a constant look of quizzical foolishness. It looked like the kind of thing Lily would have pointed out to him and said was cute, which would inevitably have lead to him giving in and buying it for her.

"I'll have the Dragon, please." He said, finally.

The girl beamed and dusting the dragon off said, "Well, it was nice knowing you, but you're going to a good home now, Henham."

"You name the toys?" Severus said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…it gets boring in here…" She explained, "And…when I haven't got any reading to do, sometimes…I might play with the toys. Just a little mind!" She turned a little pink.

He smiled, barely.

Then, as they both stood, slightly uncomfortable, Harry ran up to Severus, and tugging on his trouser leg said, "Dad, can I have this?"

It was a rubber duck. Out of all the toys he could have had, he chose a rubber duck. This boy confused him.

"What's that in the bag?" Asked Harry, looking up at the counter.

"It's a surprise" Severus smiled.

* * *

"Okay, Severus, I give in...What's the surprise?" Lily giggled as an enthusiastic Severus Snape led her across a field in the middle of the night. He had blindfolded her and led her along gently by the hand, telling her he'd prepared something he wanted to show her.

"We're here" he said, gently stopping her, "You can look now!" He lent over and untied her blindfold, trying not to grin.

She looked around and gasped. "Severus, this is...beautiful!" She had been lead to a circle of trees far away enough from Hogwarts not to be seen, but close enough to appreciate the view. The half moon shone above, moonlight making the leaves on the trees shine as if they were made of silver.In the middle of the circle, on the overgrown long grass, sat a deep red rug and a couple of cushions, next to which sat and a basket full of food so fresh you could still smell it. All around the circle floated candles, lighting the scene with an eerie light.

Severus beamed. "We won't be disturbed here" he said, "nobody comes here late at night. Especially not teachers."

Lily, still in awe, walked into the circle and said, "Wow, this must have taken ages!"

"It was nothing" he mumbled, "The candles are easy enough once you work out the first one..."

"but...wow!" She said, green eyes shining as she practically drifted into a pillow, staring upwards.

Severus landed next to her, and she unconsciously shifted her head to rest on his knees. He very consciously moved a pillow to rest under her head, worrying that his knobbly knees would become uncomfortable, and brushed a stray strand of red hair off her forehead and sighed. They spent a moment silent, her staring up at his face, drinking it every shadow that the moonlight cast upon it, draining colour from his already pale face and him staring out into the world from this protective nest he'd managed to make. Then, after a little while Lily said, "I don't think any man has made this kind of effort for me before."

"I'm not any man, " smiled Severus.

"I don't know what you are" She joked, "Perhaps you're an alien or something! One that can read my mind and do nice things for me and isn't a prick."

"How am I meant to be a dick to you? You're awesome!" He reached over and grabbed a bottle and two glasses out of the basket. "I'm afraid I couldn't get champaign..." He poured out a glass of butterbeer and placed it in her hand before pouring himself one.

Lily sat up slightly shifting herself to lean on him and snuggled down into his side before slipping the glass. "This is lovely!" She exclaimed, "Though trust you to see arranging a beautiful place like this with drinks as a failure!" She finished her glass and held it out expectantly, to which Severus obliged her. She began sipping her second glass and said, "If my girlfriends knew about you, they'd be so jealous!"

"They're jealous of you anyway, aren't they?" He asked, trying not to seem hurt, "Lily Evans, object of James Potter's affections."

"I suppose so. But this means something. This is real. James Potter…well, let's put it this way; Being told that James Potter fancies you is like being told you have a cold - quiet common, unpleasant, but soon passes with a little care."

Severus laughed. "So what contagious disease do I get compared to?"

Lily thought about this for a second. "The Flu." She announced, "You have to lay in bed, keep drinking fluids and you take a long time to recover from!"

"Then I guess you're a skin rash, because you get under the skin and irritate" He joked. Lily, mock angry, hit him playfully before then lent together and kissed, giggling at each other.

She sighed. "I don't want to think about that. I want to enjoy our time together."

He understood; she didn't want to think about how she couldn't tell anyone who she was secretly going out with, and he certainly couldn't tell anyone either. But it worked…somehow. Since the staged Mud-blood row they'd had two years ago, no one could believe they saw eye to eye on any matter, let alone frequently slept together. But even though she was meant to be a Gryffindor and a friend of James Potters, and him meant to be a friend of the deatheaters, they still…didn't see what everyone else saw. They'd known each other too long, now, to see what everybody else knew – Snape, the weedy teacher's pet into potions and Dark Arts and Lily Evans, the pretty red head with a fiery temper and an inability to suffer fools gladly. But when you've known someone for eight or so years, you see…different things. Like the way Lily craned her neck and smiled as he played with her hair, like the way his hands were so gentle and dexterous.

Severus looked at his watch. "We have five hours before sundown, and we've finished our NEWTs. Got any plans for tomorrow?

"Oh, I'm supposed to watch Potter play quidditch, but frankly, I can't be bothered to get up that early."

"Me neither, "He replied.

She sighed. "It feels odd really. Half the Gryffindor common room wants to go straight into the ministry after school, as if they can't see another choice. I mean, they want to give up their lives to fight the death-eaters, and the deatheaters in question are only a twenty minute walk from where hey are! This whole house thing seems a real mess."

"Of course you'd say that, you're from muggle stock, but to Wizards, once you know what house you go into, you're that for life."

"But it seems silly – let me tell you something from the muggle world – when a child is 11, they have to pick a secondary school, their school for the next five years at least. A lot of these schools are really competitive, but once you're on one, people act like your future is already there; if you go to the bad school where the kids throw books at the teachers and don't listen, you're written off to be thug and do badly, likewise, if you end up going to a good school where everyone gets high grades in exams, you're expected to be a success. But it doesn't work like that. Petunia, bless her, worked really hard to get into the local grammar in our area, but now she's there…she's not doing all that well. Mum's a bit worried, to be honest. She doesn't care about her work, she doesn't care about being intelligent. She just keeps dating different boys. I mean, it's not the same thing, but why can't wizards do the same? I mean, you're no Ravenclaw, but you're pretty bright, yeah? Why can't you give up all the crap that comes along with being a Slytherin?"

"And you're not such a Gryffindor?" He asked.

"I…try not to be. Well, I try not to be the bad parts. Bravery is fine, as long as you don't end up thinking stubbornness is the same thing." She squeezed his hand, and took another drink. "This is good butterbeer…"

"I know what you mean. Mum was almost disappointed when I became a slytherin, except for the fact that I would be hanging around the old wizarding families. She said they're a bad lot, all they'll do is lead me into trouble. And she was right." He sighed, "What happened to not discussing this sort of thing?"

"Not sure. Do you need a place to go after exams? Is your dad still on the rampage?"

"He's too scared to come near me, in case I whack him again."

"I have to admit, when you told me that you'd hit him with a frying pan, I laughed."

"Yeah, well, I can't use magic, or he'd be running around without his arse right now."

Lily laughed and cuddled him closer. "My parents like you, you know."

"I know. I'm just not good around muggles in general. Or most people really. But muggles moreso."

She giggled. "How come I don't count?"

"Because you're really pretty." He grinned, tickling her under the chin.

"I tent to make exceptions for you, for the same reason." She said, purring audibly. Then she sat up and kissed him before standing on all fours, nose-to-nose, with a certain kind of look in her eye. "I think we should take advantage of what time we have" she said, kissing him on the cheek. "The future will be whatever the future will be, but right now, it features you heavily."

He grabbed her face, and kissed her hungrily as her hands worked feverishly with his shirt buttons, hands stroking at the flesh her work had revealed. He let of her face, rubbing her back as they kissed gently this time, like doves swooping, until he found her bra strap and undid it with expertise most seventeen year olds did not have. She let herself fall on top of him, Severus holding her so tight, as if she would disappear any moment.

"I love you so much Lily" he said, "I love you so much, I never want to let you go."

"I love you too, Severus," She said, grinning, "no one will ever separate us."

And with that, they made love, quietly writhing in the night, moving like fluids, in time which each other, the kind of timing only two people who are in love have. As they did, the night sky darkened for a while, the moon being the only light until, far too early, the sun burst over the horizon, exploding in purples and pinks, scattering coloured clouds across the sky.

Severus woke up first, as the first rays of sunlight warmed his cold skin. He looked around – they had slept curled up in each other, the blanket wrapped around them, cushions scattered around. He held her tight, just for a second, then gently kissed her cheek. He had one more hour before they had to go back to their common rooms, pretend not to like each other, pretend not to even care if the other got hurt and he couldn't bear it. He kissed her again, not to wake her, but to feel her soft skin against his, whilst he could remember it. So he kissed her again, and again, almost madly, because he wouldn't be able to kiss her again for so long.

She stirred in her sleep, then, blinking moaned, "Good morning, Sev."

"You're awake?" He asked.

She looked up and saw the sky and swore. "Sev, you should have woken me up earlier!"

"You looked so cute sleeping and I didn't have the heart…"

"…But…I wanted more time with you…" She said quietly. She stroked his long black hair quietly. She looked so solemn that he laughed at her and held her closer. "No fair! " she protested, "You'll be the death of me, Severus, laughing at me when I feel things deeply!"

"I wasn't laughing at you, exactly. You just looked so serious, and it was very sweet."

"Well, if that's the case, cuddle me and I might believe you."

He did, and she smiled. "We're so close right now. We can just…be together, soon…"

* * *

"…I'm Glad I was able to be help, sir." Said Miss Smyth, closing the door on the Auror.

He'd been questioning her for the last hour, in her home. She'd spent the best part of last night in a muggle police cell, being asked almost exactly the same questions; who would take him? Why? Did she take him?

She was…exhausted. Thankfully Mrs Wyatt, the headmistress of the school, had already organised for her to have the week off, once the police came. Miss Smyth knew full well that she would most likely be "let go" of, because of all this, but right now her mind wasn't on that. It was on finding the boy, before that death eater did whatever he did to him.

She took the mugs into the kitchen, rinsing them out as she considered her next move. The Auror who'd come here made it very clear that she was being watched by the ministry, suspected of being the kidnapper herself. This in itself was not a comforting though, if only because it showed that they had as much clue as she did. She quickly dried up the cups, put them away and went upstairs to her bedroom, closing the door. She casually turned on her CD player, as if trying to drown out her thoughts with the Manic Street Preachers2, and headed straight for her chest of draws, opening up the top draw.

She felt around at the back, and drew out the children's letters and cards she kept. She sometimes did that, if a child gave her a card that touched her, or wrote a letter to her that she felt like she ought to keep. It was here she kept the Christmas card Harry had made for her last Christmas. Dudley had given her a box of chocolates, a typical gift for a teacher, but Harry didn't have a gift to give her, so he made her a card, with a picture on. It was a picture of her, apparently, a mess of vaguely human purple and green scribbles, opening a present with him. She had thanked him at the time, and had taken it home, with the other cards, but when it had come to the time to throw it out, she found that she couldn't, and kept it here. She'd kept a birthday card he'd made her too, the only child in the class to even think that she might have been born. And here she also kept that photo, the one she took three days ago when he was doing a classroom project about family trees, taking a photo of each child and then letting them draw their family. She had taken two photos, the first one went on the wall and has since been confiscated, but the second…she didn't know why, but him looking at her like that, with his bright green eyes and cheery grin has just made her heart melt a little. She had out it in her handbag, and taken it back with her.

Then, a sudden though dawned on her. Her draw, usually so organised, looked ruffled, as if someone had been looking through it. She looked up and saw that the bedclothes were ruffled. She jumped up, leaving the cards and picture on the floor, and looked inside her wardrobe, it's usually neat and tidy appearance marred by shirts on the floor and boxes left open. She was right. They had.

"GODDAMIT" She swore loudly, banging her wardrobe doors shut, "They've been through my knickers!"

* * *

I have to admit, when I thought of that last scene, I laughed. One of my problems as a writer is that I end up putting in too many different threads in with too many different people. I'm trying to keep it focused, so do tell me if something's confusing, or doesn't make sense. It's meanly to be slightly disjointed – things usually are, but for some explanation to seep through.

Thank you very much for reading.

1 This outfit is pretty typical of at least the Goths I know. I know Snape isn't goth, but if he was to choose an outfit, I think he'd accidentally gravitate to all black, and it seems to be a fact that all black outfit + Long black hair +being male almost always interpreted as goth. Though to be fair, he's just as likely to be a computer programmer in that outfit, in my experience (though bear in mind these fields do cross over somewhat). I hope he doesn't seem too contrived, rather, accidentally typical.

2 Fic authors claim to fame – knows the guy who wrote an influential biography of the band. The music itself isn't important, but about the right time and kind of music for the fic in question. I promise I'm not trying to push them, they're just period specific and I know them vaguely. The album in question, for anyone who cares, is "Everything Must go."


	5. Shifts

Chapter 5 – Shifts.

This chapter has a lot of Moody being House in it, and I'll explain my reasoning. In the movie, Moody reminds me of all my favourite TV detectives, from the outfit to the voice. Some kind of cross between Inspector Frost (mainly the age and coat, to be honest), Columbo, Dirty Harry and House (Yes, he's a doctor, but he does the same thing, essentially) He looks like he should be spending time solving crime. And to catch as many death-eaters as he did, he had to be a reasonably good detective. So yes – that is how this version of mad Eye was born. I'd like to know what you guys think about this, though.

This chapter has been edited, and re-edited again and again, trying to get it to flow right, and I found that I naturally gravitated towards explaining some back story. There are still some obviously gaping plot-holes right now, but hopefully they'll make sense later on. I have a feeling that we are somewhere the middle of this story, but not entirely sure yet.

I also saw "Order of the Phoenix" for the first time this weekend, having given up around Azkaban, swearing that I wasn't going to waste £7 on a film I wouldn't enjoy. I spent approximately half the film laughing at every little joke, intentional, unintentional, fanfic related, real and imagined. I might have annoyed my boyfriend a little, as I literally couldn't stop laughing at the site of all the decrees of education literally filling the walls. Thought that might have been a side-effect of the impromptu laughter therapy we took part in the night before (Some people have anecdotes and party-tricks, but this guy hypnotised the room…) I think the film is actually better paced than the book – but then again, Order of the Phoenix is my least favourite of all the books, save for the back-story chapter. You know which one :P

Okay, this note has gone on too long! Continue!

* * *

Chapter 5 – Shifts

_"Humans have the ability to shift perspective. We can experience the world through our senses. Or we can remove ourselves from our senses and experience the world even less directly. We can think about our life, rather than thinking in our life."_

_John J. Emerick quote_

* * *

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE" yelled Moody, slamming his walking stick onto the table.

Uxbridge woke up with a start, having fallen asleep in her chair. Blurrily she looked up, to see a manically grinning Moody standing over her, which considering the fact his other eye was slowly floating out of his head, was not an entirely pleasant sight upon first waking. "Oh," she said deflated, "it's you."

"Uxbridge, do you remember a conversation we had last night?" he said, gleefully, "A certain conversation where you said you'd have a certain person returned to his rightful family, and that I was simply wasting time with...what did you say? "Little Paranoid stories" I believe."

She looked at her watch. She'd been up until six am, and it was now nine in the morning. "Don't you ever sleep?" She groaned.

"I learnt to do with two hours sleep or less, so I could remain vigilant!" He replied with the devil-may-care attitude of those who haven't slept since some time last year tend to have. "Shall I tell you what they found, your people?"

"Moody, go away, I'm too tired for this..."

"Oh, shall I, shall I?"

"You're going to anyway" she sighed.

"Nothing. Nada. Zip." He paused dramatically and, as if he were explaining a simple concept to someone who should know better added, cackiling, "The square route of Minus one of a clue! In fact, my team of three has found more clues than… the entire ministry put together!"

"What!" Uxbridge sat up, suddenly alert. "So...if he's not at school, where is he,then?"

"Uxbridge, Uxbridge, Uxbridge, You must stop putting me in these win/win situations!" he giggled, "If he was found, he'd be safe, but as he's not, we've proved that I am the better person in this case. I never take things at face value, you see."

"You've proved nothing, "she spat, "we still have no idea where he is!"

"Ah, well...that's _/__technically__/_ true but we're getting closer!" He exclaimed, "I've had One of my team interview that suspicious teacher, another analysing some of Harry's personal object, to see if we can pin-point the time this change started to happen and a last one going through that teacher's bins, to make sure she's not lying."

"Her _/__bins__/_? What could she possibly be hiding in her _/__bins__/_?"Sneered Uxbridge, "Is she keeping nefarious plans in her bins? Perhaps she runs some kind of illegal operation selling dark magic items? Of course she is, in your world! That makes total sense! Why did nobody else see it before?"

"You can tell a lot about a person by what they throw out as rubbish" Said Moody, narrowing his eye (technically it was really squinting, since he only narrowed one). "Plus, whilst she was distracted, I got him to go through her bedroom and take anything suspicious."

"WHAT?" Uxbridge raged, "This is stupid! She's a squib! The most interesting thing she's likely to own is a few wizard photos! And even if she does own anything more interesting, it doesn't bear relevance to this case!"

"You don't know that for certain!" he said, mock-hurt, "Anyway, if nothing else, I predict her to be a boy-shorts kind of girl. Thongs are too impracticable, but granny pants are too unsexy. The kind of girl who tells people that she's sick of men but aims to please them anyway. I asked Aonghus to bring me a sample."

Uxbridge was stunned. "You asked your staff to steal underwear from a traumatised squib simply so you can see if you can confirm your suspicions about her sexual habits?"

Moody considered this for a second. He nodded "Yes, pretty much!"

"You...are a paranoid, nosy, disgusting old man!" Uxbridge raged, "Why you're kept on, I'll never know!"

"Do you want our help, once we've put some of the clues together?" offered Moody.

"No, I'm doing this myself!" She said, walking to the door. Before she left, she turned around and spat "Once I solve this case, I'll have you fired so quickly you won't even realise you're out the building!" And slammed the door.

"Good luck!" He shouted after her, as a slightly terrified sergeant Jeremy Jones came in the room, flanked closely by the female Auror, Korrina.

"What did you do to her" He asked, "Stick a firework up her bum?"

"You could say that, yes." Moody mused as they took a place around the table. "You two have fun researching that Paedophile ring?"

"No" said Jeremy darkly, "we don't have enough evidence to pin it on them for muggle law, and there's no possible connections to Harry as of now. It's Romanian girls they're smuggling in, the best thing we can do with that right now is keep an eye for when they put a foot wrong. Magic wise, I asked your associate here to make their cocks turn black, shrivel up and fall off, but she said she couldn't."

"It's against the rules! If they'd actually taken a magic child, their cocks would be the last thing they'd be worrying about! But our hands are tied as of now." She said glumly." but we've made a few interesting discoveries re the personal items."

"That's good. We'll wait until Ingmarr and Aonghus get back." Said Moody, "bring everything to the proverbial melting pot and see what kind of a tasty stew Harry Potter, the boy who lived, managed to get himself into."

At that moment Ingmarr and Aonghus walked right in, Aonghus' face turning a bright red as Ingmarr waved a pair of ladies boyshorts in the air.

"Sir, we managed to get your panties. And some interesting leads."

Ingmarr threw the clean underwear at Moody, who caught them expertly before inspecting them like a jeweler inspects a diamond. "Hmm, my hypothesis is correct. Boy shorts!"

"I didn't become an Auror to steal girl's underwear!" Aonghus moaned.

"Funny, I did." Moody answered, stretching the elastic to breaking point, "Well, not steal, per say."

"Anyway, I think you'll be interested in what we found." Said Ingmarr brashly.

"Okay, sit down and we'll start the board again." Moody said, holding his wand up. "The facts of this case are – On July the twenty ninth, at eleven thirty, Harry Potter was taken from his school by a hooded figure, seen only by the squib, Hyacinth Smyth. Although Harry was noticed missing by other members of staff, only Miss Smyth got a good look at this assailant. From these reports I 'obtained' from Umbridge" He said, pulling out a handful of reports from the inner pockets of his coat, "Only one other person saw the man in question, a boy called John Simpnot, a half blood boy who is almost certainly going to be a wizard. We have interviewed him, and his statement backs up what Miss Smyth said, that the man was wearing black robes. But there is one main difference in the way they tell the story. Guesses, anyone?"

"Err…did he get the man's name?" Asked Aonghus.

"I know…a better physical description." Said Ingmarr.

"You're both wrong. One more guess, anyone?"

"The man walked in?" Sergeant Jeremy Jones said hopefully.

"Nope. Harry wasn't taken. He knew the man. "said Moody triumphantly, "Simpnot said that Harry went to the man willingly. So we know that if this was a deatheater attack, that it was not only pre-meditated, but also not simply to take the boy. If you wanted to kill him, all you'd need to do is take him and dump his body in a ditch. No, there has to be more reason. "

"I'm afraid that we haven't found anything in the personal items at the school…they show the same signs, his books, whilst have his fingerprints on, and his teacher's fingerprints, don't show anything else other than a fading magical signature. Less so than in the playground, there does seem to be a background build-up of magic on them, but even so, something happened three days before he left."

Moody rubbed his chin, and flicked his wand, the words, "Magical signature, premeditated, victim knew attacker" hanging in the air.

"Right, that information was less than useless." Moody said, factually, "And the muggle route was a dead-end, I understand, Sergeant Jones?"

"I wouldn't say that, exactly…" said Sergeant Jones.

"Well, it certainly hasn't helped us find Harry Potter." Said Moody factually, "But I'll make sure someone leaves a report with a lead to those bastards on Uxbridge's desk, all right? Right, Ingmarr, what did you two find?"

"Well, I interviewed Miss Smyth again…not much new there. Pretty much everything said before, except she did confirm that Harry was unhappy at home. Very unhappy." He reached into his pocket and brought out a photocopy of hand-written notes. "She's been keeping a note of every time he's come into school with a new bruise or cut. Some of them could be ones from playing, but the majority aren't." He pushed the paper towards Moody, who picked it up, and skim read it, his real eye slightly popping out.

"Merlin's balls, why didn't we know this before?" He asked, "We've wasted our time without this knowledge!"

"I think…I think this corresponds too." Said Korrinna, pushing a school exercise book towards Moody, nervously, "In every story-time exercise, he's written about a "Daddy", a "Daddy" who'll take him away."

Moody banged the table. "You're IDIOTS! ALL OF YOU!" He raged, "This is an OBVIOUS clue! I'd expect Uxbridge to miss it, but not _you._"

"…she also said that this has been going on since she met him. She's been making notes about all this for the last year, trying to get muggle social services involved. But they couldn't make a move until someone saw the bruises being made, or until he ended up in hospital." Said Ingmarr, defensively, "this has all been well hidden, anyway."

"Right, I say we check out more of his books, see what we can find out about "Daddy" " Moody said, "There's something rather suspicious about this person, whoever they might be. She's a squib, right? No reason why, when seeing how slow muggle services are, that she shouldn't knock back a polygon juice mixed with the hair of some man, take the boy and keep him safe."

"But she's a…"

"Exactly – she knows how to use that kind of stuff. And where to get it. Go to the apothecary in her area, every single one, even the ones we technically don't know exist. I can think of at least two suppliers who make polygon juice for clients…Aonghus, what did you find out about our lovely Miss Smyth?"

"Well, not much to suggest she was hiding Harry in her house." Aonghus sniffed, "Oh yes, I found out that she's obsessively tidy and takes self-defense classes twice a week. Not much else her room could tell me."

"And her underwear draw? You _did_ look in it, right?"

"Yes…Ingmarr left before I got a proper look through, but I did find something…interesting." Aonghus took out a wizard photo, which was oddly still. "She keeps cards made for her by the kids in the back of the draw."

Moody snatched the photo from Aonghus' hand and looked at it. "And a photo of Potter, by the looks of it. THAT is why, Aonghus, you always look in a woman's panty draw! They always keep their most revealing things in there! Muggle Vibrators, Orgasm potions, love letters and now…this. I'm not sure what she's doing; she could have had something to do with this, but right now we need more information on these bruises and on the Dursley's. Sergeant Jones, I want your men to watch Miss Smyth's every move – I want her to be so watched that she can't go to the toilet without me knowing about it! Ingmarr, Aonghus, go to the Dursley's house, find out as much as you can, especially you, Aonghus, you've got the invisibility cloak again. Your job is to examine Harry's room whilst Ingmarr keep them distracted."

"Distracted? But I got some good information from…"

"Perhaps you did, but if they've been abusing Harry in any way, they're hardly likely to tell that to a wizard, are they? Aonghus, as our expert panty-snatcher, we need every clue we can get!"

"I'm not a panty snatcher,. "Aonghus muttered under his breath, "I never wanted to snatch panties in the first place!"

"Korrinna, you're in records again. I want you to put together a lead for Umbridge taking her to these Kiddie-Fidlers, let her do some good for once, and then find me everything out can on this Smyth…"

"…Moody…I'm not sure why you're so convinced Miss Smyth is involved in this disappearance! " Korrinna argued, "She's done nothing but help so far…"

"…but she keeps a picture of her five-year-old pupil in her underwear draw. Think about that for a minute. " Moody paused dramatically. "Find out her history and give it to me."

* * *

"SHOW ME" Lily screamed at Severus. They were back at their place, in the clearing, one year later. Things hadn't exactly gone to plan.

"Show you what…" He asked, blinking.

"Don't play stupid…you know exactly what I mean!" She snapped, "Show me the damn Mark!"

"Lily, this isn't what it seems like…"

"Show me!" she demanded, "For Christ's1 sake, show me! Let me know if James was lying or not!"

Severus reluctantly rolled his sleeves. Burnt onto his arm was a mark, all right. The Dark Mark. He felt it hurt as she stared at it, its snake mocking him.

She was silent, the very air still, as if recording this moment to replay to him again and again.

"Lily, I can explain…"he started, trying to keep himself calm.

"…No, you can't, Severus!" she said, "My parents are missing, and that…that damn thing was hanging over their house! It was hanging all over Spinners end!"

"I'm not a deatheater, Lily, I promise…"

"Then why do you have a Dark Mark, eh? Why else would you have his symbol, if weren't one of _them?_" She sneered, "I tried to ignore everything people have been saying, but Severus, it was all _TRUE!"_ She burst out into tears, "I love you, Severus, but…I can't…I can't…stand this!"

"Lily, please listen, I'm not a deatheater…"He tried to hold her, explain what had happened – he'd already told Dumbledore he'd be a double agent, he'd do this to make sure she was kept safe, the only Muggle born with such a guarantee, he wanted to tell her that he was risking her life so that she would be kept safe.

"Don't touch me!" She sobbed, "Please don't! Don't you understand? My parents are _dead_ and…" She wanted to say _you killed them_, but before she did, she broke out into a fresh flood of tears.

"Lily, I love you…"

"No you don't!" She spat, "not if you did that! You're the same as the rest of them! All you ever wanted was power, and now you've got it! Happy?" She lunged at him, as if to attack him, but instead fell to her knees, "And now…oh God…I was…until today…" She paused for breath and said, "Oh God, I…can't. I Can't…."

"Lily, what is it?" He asked, turning towards her.

Lily swallowed, breathing hard, "I was going to tell you that…that I was pregnant, that we have a child….but now…" He turned to face him, and hissed, "I'd rather my child died than ever knew someone as selfish as you was their father!"

"Oh by the Bloody Baron…" Severus knelt down next to her, and tried to hold her hand, "Please, Lily, I'm not a death eater, I'm not a bad person, I'm doing this for you…"

"How on earth can you believe that?" She exclaimed, dumbfounded, "How on earth can you believe such _shit_? "

"It's not shit!" He said, as she stood up, "I'm doing this for both of us!"

"Then have this back!" She said, taking a ring off her finger, "Have this back! I'm doing this for both of us, as well!" She threw the ring at him. With the last of her anger she said "If you hated me so much, you should have just told me, instead of letting me love you!" And then, she fell back into incoherent sobs, running off.

Severus sat on his own, practically catatonic with grief and shock. The world shifted, imperceptibly to all, except himself, as the bottom of his world suddenly fell out.

* * *

Seven years later, the world shifted, again. Again, it was imperceptible, except to those who watched the shifts in the Universe and saw the changes in directions of fate.

Harry woke up at seven in the morning, his heart racing for reasons he didn't understand. He almost half-expected to wake up back in his cupboard, door being banged on for not having cleaned the house the last two days, but instead he sunk back into his soft mattress, looking up at the ceiling of his new room. It was true. It was all true.

Last night, after shopping, his dad had cooked dinner for him and taken the bandages around his chest off. The welts and cuts had almost healed, leaving nothing more than thin scars where they had been. His Father had that look of disapproval that grown-ups had when they saw something they didn't like, like Miss Smyth did when Aunt Petunia forgot to pick him up, but had wrapped some new bandages around him, with that tingling cream underneath, and gave him two drinks to drink, one the horrible bitter one that made him feel sick, but helped the wounds and another one – which felt like liquid jelly, but tasted of fish, which Harry barely choked down. He'd been told the second potion was to fix something else wrong, something else that had been done to him without his permission.

Harry had gone to bed, feeling exhausted, unnaturally so and almost instantly fell into a deep sleep. He felt awake now, strangely alert and aware of his surroundings. The house felt…cold, as if something was new, different about it, waking it up from sleep. He pulled off the musty covers, and gently placed is feet in his new slippers, and wrapping himself up in his new dressing-gown (Red, with planets and stars on it) left his room to go to the bathroom.

He ran in, and looked in the grubby mirror. He gasped. His face had…changed. His thick unruly hair had suddenly gone fine and limp, growing several inches overnight so it was now down to his shoulders and his round face had suddenly elongated a little. He lifted his fringe and found the lightening shaped scar on it, a thought he'd found no comfort in before. He could recognise himself in the face, but knew it was different to the one he'd had the night before. The question was – could anyone else?

In a panic, he ran down stairs into the kitchen, and opening the draws, desperately looked for a pair of scissors, feeling around the draws for a pair. After a minute, he dragged over a kitchen chair, and stood on it, scrabbling around until he found a blunt pair with the knives. He held them up, just for a second, triumphant, then with his other hand grabbed his hair into a loose bunch, and started to cut. He hacked at it, the scissors being so blunt that they could barely cut butter, and kept hacking until all the hair had been cut off.

Unthinkingly, he dropped the hair on the floor, grabbing a pan from out the cupboard to inspect his efforts. He groaned. It had grown back already! He started cutting it again, this time grabbing it close to the root, slicing at it madly, trying to get it off him! He dumped handful after handful of the greasy black hair on the ground, trying to cut it off in time, practically scalping himself, but every time he looked into a reflective surface, it had already grown back.

He decided he had to find something sharper. He climbed up on the chair and started looking through the knives, thinking they might be more efficient. However, the chair was wobbly and old, and Harry managed to overbalance, grabbing the draw with him as he felt to the floor with a dramatic thump, followed by the clattering of metal on stone. Harry grunted in annoyance. It hurt. He was used to pain, but falling had slowed his efforts.

"HARRY!" He heard his father's voice calling.

_Oh no!_ Though Harry, _he won't recognise me like…this. He'll throw me out, he'll tell me I don't belong here!_ Harry Sat up, and felt out carefully for a knife, any knife, to cut his hair with.

"HARRY!" Severus walked into the kitchen and found Harry, in a pile of hair and knives, cutting off his long black hair, trying to get rid of it. "What're you doing?"

"I'm Harry!" Harry shouted, sadly, "Please don't throw me out! I'm Harry!"

"Harry, stop that right now!" Severus Ordered, outraged.

Harry dropped the knife in his hand, too petrified to move.

"Harry, do you have any idea how dangerous this is?" He raged, picking his way through the knives, picking them up and placing them in the up-turned draw, "You could have hurt yourself!"

"B…but…my hair…"

"Your h…" Severus only just had a chance to take it all in. It was Harry's Birthday today. He knew that there was only one day of the year that appearance spells could be reversed, if given the right potion. He had given Harry the potion the night before…but Harry had fallen asleep before he could explain what it was! No wonder he was here! He though something wrong had happened!

"Harry," He touched the boy's face, "We're going to tidy up the kitchen first, then I'm going to explain to you what happened today. Don't worry…we'll sort this all out."

Harry nodded, trusting Severus, and started scooping up handfuls of hair, putting them into a pile as Severus finished picking up the knives, placing them on the side, not bothering to wash them up yet. Once the hair had safely been disposed of in the bin, Severus took Harry into the living room, utterly unsure what to say to the boy, let alone how to say it? How do you explain to someone that their mother hated their father so much that they hexed their child within an inch of their life to look like another man? How do you tell him that he's going through the most frightening transition of his life until he reaches puberty- the transition of looking like one man into looking like another? This was far worse than any "sex talk" that most people remembered with a sensation somewhere between horror and amusement.

He sat Harry on his lap, Harry's hair gently curling down as it re-grew, and cleared his throat. _Well Harry, _Severus though to himself, _Not every boy in the world will go through the changes you're about to go through…_

"Harry, how much do you know about…your parents?" Severus asked out loud.

"I know that Mum and you were meant to have died in a car-crash, but that's not true so…I don't know."

"Car crash?" asked Severus, genuinely shocked, "Died in a…car…crash?"

"I said it wasn't true! It's what Uncle Vernon told me!" Said Harry defensively, "I know it's not true, but that's what Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia always said!"

"B…both of them?" spluttered Severus in surprise. _Cold hearted Bitch_ Severus thought to himself, _how can she even think that herself? She knows how Lily died, and she told Lily's son, MY son this pack of lies? _

Harry simply nodded. "But they lied about that. "

"They certain did." He said, his voice suddenly stripped of warmth, "No, the truth is certain not as…neat as that."

"Neat?" Asked Harry.

"No, Harry, your Mother died hiding you from a Dark Wizard who was coming to kill you. I…couldn't go into hiding with her, but another man did, who put a spell on you to make you look like him. To protect you." He lied, knowing that Harry was perhaps not ready to know that Lily died thinking that her son was being killed by the same people Severus supported and helped. "So, what happened today is that the curs…spell on you was undone. You now are starting to look like me, instead of that other man. Do you understand?"

"Uncle Vernon said that there's no such thing as magic." Said Harry factually, "I'm not a baby."

"No such thing as magic, eh?" Said Snape, hiding his shock, "so, you believe that, right?"

Harry Faltered before he said, "On TV it's just tricks, and it's not real!"

"Oh really?" Grinned Severus. "Well, it seems that your Uncle has lied to you again. Magic is real. And I'll prove it to you."

Severus knew his magic wasn't really back, but was determined to do a few simple spells, just to show Harry what could be done. Severus took his wand out of the pocket in his cloak, and pointed it at a book in the bookshelf. "Accio, Book." He said calmly, and it flew across the room, Severus catching it easily.

Harry gasped in fascinated amazement. "Do it again!" He ordered.

Severus did as he was told. "Accio, Lamp!" the lamp flew from its muggle fittings in the wall, and landed at his feet.

"That's so cool!" Harry said, "Can you do other stuff?"

"Of course!" Severus sniffed, enjoy the boy's fascination with such every-day things, and pointed his wand at the battered old arm-chair across the room. "Reducio!" The armchair grew so small that it could be a dolls-house chair, before it grew back to its full size.

"Can I do that?" Asked Harry.

"One day." Severus smiled, "not yet. You're still very little, but you'll go to a school which will teach you, when you're older."

"Really?" Asked Harry, "I will? Uncle Vernon said that there weren't any magic places, and anyone who said was a fool!"

"Well, your Uncle Vernon is a fool" sneered Snape, "So anything he has ever said to you is foolish in itself! Not only is there a magic school, but your name has been down for it since you were born! You'll be a great wizard, one day!"

"Really?" asked Harry, his eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Yes, really." Said Severus, avoiding the temptation to touch Harry's scar, "Now, don't worry about your face changing, for now, it's just…a curs…spell lifting from you, letting you be who you really are. Which reminds me – it's your birthday today, isn't it?"

Harry looked surprised. "It is!" he said, uncertainly, shrinking back.

"I…got you some presents, if you want them." Severus said, anti-climatically.

* * *

"Yes, Severus, I do." Said Lily, looking to the ground, "I know I've made a big mistake. But I can't go back now."

"Lily…" he grabbed her hand, "We could disappear, I've been working on a way to disappear in such a way that we couldn't be traced – we could pretend to be muggles, wait until the war is over…"

It was just after an Order of the Phoenix meeting. Severus knew he was as welcome there as a cat at a pigeon-fancier convention, but he had made his choice. He had dealt a deal with the Dark Lord, and as such, his work for the Dark Lord was over. He found information for the Order, who would use it to slow vol…He Who Must Not Be Named, down, stop him, save others and he made potions to heal up the Dark Lords servants. It was a dangerous deal, but more good could come of it than bad, or so he thought.

"We can't…" She said, slipping from his grasp, "I'm James' wife now. I'm giving birth to your child, and you won't see him being born and he'll grow up thinking James is his father…"

"No, this isn't right…"

"Severus. Think about it. James and I are going into hiding – if He Who Must Not Be Named knew you were to have a son, especially one like this…he wouldn't hesitate killing you. He wouldn't hesitate hunting us down and killing us all."

"He'll hunt you down too, Lily." Severus said, "He'll kill you, and then what?"

"Severus, please don't make this harder. I can barely stand James, some days, every night he hugs me, I keep thinking, wishing it was you…but it's not. If we change everything now, He will just find us quicker…"

"I know occultomy! The dark Lord, He can't see into my mind!" Severus said, holding her pregnant body closer, "James can't say that…"

"…but James will protect me. James has always protected me…you…you've always needed more protection from yourself than anything…and…oh Merlin, I wish it didn't need to be like this…" She grabbed his face, and kissed him gently, desperately, "Wormtail will protect us, Siruis is risking his life as a double-bluff. What about you? What're you risking your life for?"

"I'm close to the Dark Lord." Said Severus bluntly.

"And glory will be yours." Said Lily, bitterly.

"I never betrayed anyone" He hissed, hating that she could hit a nerve like that "I never wanted this mark – all I've ever wanted is leaving and going into hiding with James Potter and his cronies!" He sighed and said, "Lily…I can't change your mind, but stay safe. Please, stay safe. Maybe after all this…we'll have a chance."

Lily, for the first time in a long while, gave him a genuine smile. "Once this is over? Once the war is over, and we can be safe? I'll be in your arms in a heartbeat…" She threw herself into him, and they held each other, knowing that this would be the last time they'd see each other in a long while. They kissed. "Oh Severus, I'm meant to hate you, I'm meant to be unable to forgive you…but you'll be the death of me, I can't help myself. I do. I still want you."

Severus held her so close. Those words…he wanted them more than anything else. "Thank you" He whispered, kissing her forehead gently before breaking apart from her, giving them a full five seconds to straighten out before James Potter came into the room.

"C'mon Lily, my love, we've only got five minutes before we leave! Don't waste it all on Snivillus!"

"C…coming!" She smiled, walking up to him, and allowing him to kiss her on the cheek. She quickly retreated into the main chamber.

James stayed there, watching Severus as if he were a spider which he wanted to squash. They stood there, mentally locked in battle for a few seconds until James said breathlessly, "I'm doing you a favour, Severus"

Severus, defeated, said, "I suppose this is what I get for being a fool."

"You're both getting a second chance." James said boldly, "And I'll look after him as if he were my own."

"You've won, Potter." Said Severus, closing his eyes, "There's nothing more to say. I don't need to fight, not any more."

"You do, if you still love her." stated James boldly.

"I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't." Severus said, hating himself for giving Potter even that much advantage.

"You didn't love her enough." James corrected, "Your pride got in the way, and you loved that more than her, _Snivillus_." Spat James Potter, "I'm doing this for her. For your child; no child would want a man whose pride was more important than their life. I'll make sure that child never knows who their father is, and they'll thank me for it." And with that, James Potter left, to join his wife make her tearful goodbyes with everyone else.

Severus found himself standing there, his hands balling up into fists, his face burning like molten lava. But remembering himself, he breathed out, relaxed his whole body, fists unfurling and left to join the rest of the Order.

* * *

Oh yes, lots of Lily too! Next chapter will be lots of Harry and Snape, though, to make up for it. The odd thing is, I'm reasonably close to cannon in my telling, just with a few changes. I'm looking forward to the chapter coming, as I'm introducing a new, but familiar face. Because Snape needs complications, right now.

I'm hoping to get into an "Update on Saturday mornings, by English time" thing, so expect it around then.

1 She's a muggle born, therefore blasphemy is within her vocabulary. Or so I like to think.


	6. The Buck Moon

Chapter 6 – The Buck Moon.

Hi hi!

This chapter is, again, long, and whilst I'm not entirely happy with how it turned out, I'm pretty happy with it. I think Lupin in this is fairly fun! He'll be able to lighten things up a little in general. If you like, you can miss out the little bit with Ingmarr and Korrina, but I think having it in there helps the flow.

Also, here's a nice little explanation for the title of this week's chapter -

**"The Full Buck Moon - July** July is normally the month when the new antlers of buck deer push out of their foreheads in coatings of velvety fur. It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, for the reason that thunderstorms are most frequent during this time. Another name for this month's Moon was the Full Hay Moon." (/full-moon-names)

* * *

Man... cannot learn to forget, but hangs on the past: however far or fast he runs, that chain runs with him.

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

* * *

It was four in the morning when Ingmarr knocked back his first awakeness potion, having elected to help Korrinna in the records department, finding out what they could about Miss Smyth, and the Evan's family, having exhausted what they could on the Dursley name (One witchhunter in sixteen oh two, burnt old grandmothers who couldn't pay their taxes).

"Thanks Ingmarr," said Korrinna, elbows deep in filing cabinets, "It's very kind of you to help me."

"No, don't worry about it. It's boring down here. That's why I think he gives you these jobs – trying to scare you out of the Auror training." Said Ingmarr, flicking through a book as wide as his forearm, "Moody I mean. Apparently six out of seven of his trainees so far have quit, taking on office jobs instead."

"I can understand" Sighed Korrinna, "The blatant favouritism, the constant sleepless nights, his ability to make our lives difficult in every single way…Umbridge was in accounts today, squeezing our salaries further. Anyone would go insane."

"Except us, apparently" Said Ingmarr, putting the book back. "_Luminous_" He whispered, the end of his wand lighting up.

"Well, I'm glad Aonghus is getting some sleep. And that Sergeant Jones could go home to his wife. It's been a long day, really."

"I don't understand why he's so obsessed with that damn Squib!" Ingmarr panted, pulling a File marked "Smyth" out, "I've spoken to her, I mean, she might be a weirdo, but she certainly no kidnapper. Wouldn't help either, though she did try. Its really sad what those muggles were doing to Harry, though."

"I don't understand why Dumbledore would put him with muggles, anyway." Said Korrinna, levitating a pile of paper back into the drawer, and looking over Ingmarr's shoulder, "I mean, they were never going to understand him. I mean, what could be worse than being treated like an object of fear for eleven years? Because that would have been what would happened to him."

"Hmm, Miss Smyth has had a pretty similar past, in a way. Captured by deatheaters, attacked, taken prisoner and found two days later walking across the Cambridge countryside. The nature of her attack was never known, simply that he was in pain for a year afterwards, looked like the aftershock of a crucio curse. She managed to pass a degree in Biochemistry with First class honours, then went into teaching. Not only that, but primary school teaching. It doesn't seem to add up, really."

"I can see why he's so suspicious now, " said Korrinna, "But I think his eye's way off on this one. She might have her own crimes, but they're not to do with Harry Potter."

"Still, we have more than he needs here. Where is Mad eye, anyway?"

"Last time I saw him, he was muttering something about werewolves." Korrinna Sighed.

"Which reminds me, how did that report for Umbridge go?" asked Ingmarr, "Even if we can't crack this, we can still do some good."

"Oh, I think you'll find that it was very…thorough. I heard half the ministry rushing to Surrey." Korrinna grinned. "Sergeant Jones was very helpful, suggesting a few words here and there that would stick out. He's been working hard to get these men for a while. It's only fair, considering how half the work he's been doing has been dismissed by Moody."

"I wonder what he wants a Werewolf for?" Ingmarr wondered aloud.

"Whatever it is, Umbridge won't like it." Korrinna grinned.

* * *

A birthday drifted past, full of cake and presents, a happy time for Severus, seeing his son start to finally _look _like he ought to, though that scar remained on his head. He knew that James had hexed the boy until he collapsed, doing anything and everything to remove any trace of Snape from the boy, but like all things done by mortal men, they could be undone. Just a simple anti-polygon juice on the right date, and three months of work could disappear just like that.

Harry seemed less happy, which Severus tried not think about. _He'll understand, one day, _he thought to himself, _right now he's still getting used to it. _Harry and Severus were in the basement of the old house, Severus working on his potions, trying to have the majority of them brewed and bottled before tomorrow, the day of delivery. He'd have to leave Harry for a couple of hours to get them out as well, which made him feel guilty and hoped that he'd be able to get the job done before the boy woke up in the morning. It Certainly seemed to help that Harry refused to go to bed so far, preferring to stay up and watch his father brew whilst he held onto his toy dragon tightly, pulling occasionally at his new hair.

The potions steamed, a thick, multicoloured fog filling the room and stained the ceiling the particular colours that swirled within the acrid steam. Snape checked between the cauldrons, mixing them occasionally with the end of an old muggle broom, looking almost alien wearing his dragon-hide leathers and translucent mermaid scale goggles on, looking into each potion for even a flicker of difference. Ah yes, the Veritaserum was coming along well, a difficult potion to make, a challenge that was a pleasure in itself, ready for bottling later. This lot would cover their expenses for the next few months or so. And the Parumnex, oh yes, this sordid little potion was something that sold well. He felt his face redden just thinking about what it did – orgasm juice, the shopkeeper called it, though it wasn't true. It simply simulated the body so it would give the effect of sexual release. Orgasm wasn't quiet the same thing. He crowched down for a second, and watched how the smoke moved. _It's moving too _slowly he thought, added the faintest touch of sparrows spleen and stepped back. Better.

"What does this potion do?" Asked Harry, pointing at a silvery cauldron that smoked slightly.

Severus looked up, having not thought about that potion all evening.

"Oh, it's Wolfsbane." He said, absentmindedly, "It's to help werewolves."

"Werewolves exist?" Asked Harry, unbelieving.

"Oh yes the do" Said Severus, remembering the time he'd almost been bitten-killed even by Remus Lupin, "And this potion…it makes them less dangerous. There's no cure for being a werewolf, you see. But this potion was invented recently, means that they can…still be themselves. They don't lose themselves to the wolf."

"The wolf?" asked Harry.

"Yes, they can't control it…but don't worry, Harry. There are no werewolves around here!" Severus removed his goggles, placing them on top of his head as he pinched the bridge of his hook-shaped nose. "It's coming up to ten…you probably should be in bed."

"Noooooo" Harry whined, "I don't want to go to bed…"

Severus found himself oddly amused by this battle every night. Although it was stupid and pointless, the sheer innocent foolishness of the boy made him laugh inside. "C'mon, its bed time for both of us!" Severus smiled.

Harry Pouted, hugging his dragon to his chest. "Henham doesn't like the dark! We can't make him go to bed…"

"Well, we can leave him on the landing whilst you sleep…" Severus said, going to pick up the boy, "Because you need to go to bed…"

Harry was about to protest when there was a knock on the door. Severus froze instantly, the light jovial mood dissipating to be replaced with cold fear. He pulled out his wand and was about to mutter something, when Severus realised that his magic still wasn't what it was…he wasn't about to risk Harry on some spell that might not work.

"Harry, go hide." He said, quietly.

"W…where?" Asked Harry.

"I don't know!" Severus hissed, "Harry, I'm going to have to answer that door, but you need to hide, and quick. I want you to stay there, and not move a muscle, understand? Don't cough, don't sneeze, just stay quiet, or you'll be taken away. Do you understand."

Harry nodded, terrified. Severus, his mind suddenly numb with fright, opened his equipment cupboard, and finding an old cauldron, gently look Harry's arm and hid Harry under it.

"No, don't go…" Harry panicked, grabbing onto Severus' hand.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Severus said, squeezing Harry's hand tight ly before wrestling it away. "Stay brave for me."

* * *

"SNAPE! OPEN THIS DOOR OR I'LL BLAST IT DOWN" Shouted a voice, banging at the door. Something scratched at the woodwork.

Severus opened the door, but as he did so, he was practically flung back by the approaching figure of Remus Lupin. Lupin, though usually reserved and faintly exhausted, now Loomed above Severus, his eyes glinting with desperate madness.

"Merlin's Beard, Lupin, I thought you were…" Severus said, comparatively relieved considering a mad werewolf stood at his door.

"…I need my potion!" Lupin rasped, "Full moon is a week away today; I need my potion!"

"Can't afford it from an apocathary this month?" Sneered Severus. "What've you been spending your money on? Brandy again? Your wolfsbane is brewing downstairs just now."

"Brewing? Snape, do you realise how important it is that I take this potion? If I miss even one day, I will be….uncontrollable!"

Snape snorted and said, "Yes, much difference to the usual state of affairs, then?"

Lupin shot Severus a dirty look. "Just because some of us have emotions, it doesn't make us weak." He muttered.

"It depends how you use them." Said Snape.

"Yes; because turning all your hatred and bitterness inside on yourself and pushing away anyone who could possibly come close to you is such a good idea?" Lupin replied, "Living in a rotting old house on your own, the only company at night a belching cauldron. Yes, you've used yours well, haven't you?"

"Odd, though. The ever loving and accepting Lupin is in the same situation as me." Severus said, underhandedly, "How is the shrieking shack, by the way? Got a mattress yet? I've heard they're all the rage these days."

Lupin's mouth fell open at Severus' blatant rudeness and roared, "I lost everything in one night! I Lost my four best friends in the world in one night! Do you know what that can do to a man, Severus? Ever since they died, the wolf's become…stronger, I can barely keep it at bay in my mind, even in daylight hours! I can feel it howling for its pack at all times. You would never understand that, would you?"

"To be lost, alone, abandoned and slipping into the thing you hate? Please, Remus, think more carefully before you open that gaping maw of yours!" Severus growled, "Now, I'm going to get your potion, then you will take it and get out of my house."

"Why is it so late, Snape?" Asked Lupin, "You're usually so punctual."

"I've….been ill lately." Lied Snape quickly.

"That's bull and you know it." Lupin retorted, "I've seen you brew the most complex potions whilst half-fainting from a fever!" Lupin looked around, and walked into the kitchen.

"No, don't go in there; I've already brewed you a potion for free, I'm not feeding you as…" Snape said, rolling his eyes.

Lupin looked at the side and interrupting him said, "Snape, since when did you eat cake?"

_Damn_, he thought, as he realised that he'd left the half-eaten Birthday cake on the side. He ran into the Kitchen, following the wolf and said, pointing to the door "Since now. Get out."

"No, no….and you've washed up two plates and two mugs – doesn't seem like you to make more washing up than necessary…"

Severus gave Lupin a death stare. "Well, I've been letting it pile up…get out."

"No, no Snape…you're never late. You never let washing up pile up. You never eat cake unless someone else wants it. You're hiding something…or" Lupin sniffed slightly, and suddenly realised something. "Or someone."

"Lupin, have you been trying the Greek method of werewolf control again?" Severus sighed, his beleaguered face hiding the fluttering panic he felt in his stomach , "because whilst some muggle two thousand years ago may have been convinced that exhaustion is the best way to cure lycanthropy1, I can assure you it isn't."

Lupin turned around, and said, "I wish I was doing this to myself voluntarily. Then I might be able to stop and finally sleep. No, you're off this month. You're acting the same as usual, but there's a smell about this place, something warm, something not here usually…."

"You wait here whilst I get your potion…the wolf in you is picking up various scents and driving you to all sorts of crazy conclusions…"

"No, no, I think you'll find the conclusions I'm coming to are purely logical." Lupin said, walking back into the living room, picking up a book Severus had read to Harry earlier, and sniffing it. " "The tales of Beedle the Bard" don't seem like your usual reading, but …the smell…it's…familiar…"

"Lupin, either get out, or stop this foolishness" Severus growled, his hackles raised, "what I read and what I eat and who I have in my house is my business, not yours!"

A horrible shadow crossed Lupin's face, then, his smile, now like a horrible rictus, widened. His tongue panted as he said, "You know, you say that, but that very much depends who it is…" Lupin bolted for the stairs.

"STOP!" Severus demanded, and pulling his wand from his pocket made to stupefy the man, but Lupin turned around, knocking the wand from his hand with inhuman strength before rushing into the basement. Severus picked up his wand again and followed Lupin, who had proceeded to knock over the cauldron full of Veritasserum, swinging open the door to the equipment cupboard, casually pushing past various scythes and bottles of rare ingredients before ripping an old apron from on top of a cauldron and lifting it up.

Severus held his breath, silently wording the killing curse.

"Where are they?" Lupin demanded, "I can _smell_ them!"

"Who?" said Severus, feeling so overjoyed that Harry had managed to escape he laughed, "Who might this mystery person be?"

Lupin stumbled further into the closet, and started rummaging through the pile of aprons at the back. "Ah, yes…maybe _this_ might give you a clue."

Severus' eyes grew wide as Lupin pulled out a dusty and terrified Harry from behind the cloaks, fingers biting into Harry's struggling wrist. As Harry caught Severus' eye, he looked away and sobbed. "I…I'm sorrrrryy…" Harry Cried, "I'm sorry dad…I didn't….l…l…l…like the d….ark."

"Dad?" repeated Lupin, goggling in amazement.

"Let go of my son." Said Severus with a cold fierceness he never knew he had within him, "or else I'll hex you until there's nothing left but your _wretched _heart." He lifted his wand up, so Lupin could see it cleary, varnish glinting menacingly in the low light.

Lupin could see in Snape's eyes that the man wasn't kidding. His grip loosened on the boy, and he knelt down to Harry's eye-level and said, "I'm sorry for scaring you, like that." He casually brushed Harry's new hair from his face affectionately, and then Lupin froze, like he'd seen a ghost. "Snape. The scar…he's Harry Potter…"

"Not Potter" Severus replied, the worlds dripping off his tongue like poison, "Harry, come here…"

"No, Snape…what've you done to him?" asked Lupin, amazed, "He looks just like…"

"I only reversed what was put on the boy from a young age." Severus replied, his voice calm and even, "Harry, get away from him…"

"I heard a rumour, but only a rumour…No, Snape, you didn't really…"

Severus stared Lupin down and hissed, "Lupin, let go of him now!"

"No, no, I have to report this…have you gone insane, Snape?" Lupin let go of Harry, and held his head in his hands, shaking it like a rabid dog.

Severus panicked, and stepped forward towards the Cauldron of wolfsbane. "Lupin, I will explain everything, but you have to listen to me! However, even think of reporting me, and I drain the lot of this out. This is enough wolfsbane to calm you for two months, if you took it everyday. Longer if you just took it around the full moon. I will give you it all, and more, if you let Harry go and…just listen."

Lupin stared at the cauldron silently, as Harry walked over to his father and took his hand. Severus could practically see the cogs in Lupin's mind, fighting against the lycanthropy, his mind burning with conflict. Finally, Lupin sighed a sigh of tired defeat and said "Damn you, Snape. I'm sure you're thinking of a lovely jinx to put on me, to make sure I keep my word, aren't you?"

"Lupin, you know me better than I thought." Severus said, smiling keeping his eyes on Lupin. "Thank Merlin you're all right!" he said, in quiet a different voice to Harry.

"Who is he?" asked Harry, quietly.

"He's called Remus Lupin." Severus replied, holding the boy closer, "and he was just leaving."

"Oh." Replied Harry. Then, after thinking a second, he said, "Mr Remus?"

"Y…yes Harry?" Replied Lupin, trying to drown the fear out of his voice.

"Would you like some cake before you go? It was my birthday today, and Dad bought me some birthday cake and it was yummy, but we didn't finish it…"

Lupin looked up at Severus, who for a flicker of a second looked as if he were about to berate the boy senseless, before pulling a face of distain and said, "well, it looks like you're getting some cake out of all this in the end anyway, Lupin."

Five minutes later they were all sat around the Kitchen table, Severus having rather sour-facedly cut generous slices for them all, whilst Harry showed Lupin his Dragon. "…So Henham used to look after a princess, but a wizard turned him into a toy, so now he looks after me."

Lupin laughed at Harry's imagination and said, "And yes, he is a very fine dragon, if I may say. Does Henham like birthday cake, Harry?"

"He's a Dragon." Replied Harry matter-of-factly, much like his father, "Dragon's don't eat cake."

Lupin laughed loudly at Harry's face, and finished the last of his slice. "In that case, can I have his slice?"

Severus rolled his eyes and cut Lupin another slice, managing to drop the cake onto the plate with distain. Lupin grinned at Severus, who looked away.

"Mr Remus, you're very hungry!" said Harry, "Did your uncle say you weren't allowed food too?"

Lupin stopped chewing. "Noooo." Said Lupin rather slowly through a mouthful of cake, then swallowed it down, "no, nobody's ever told me that. Is you dad feeding you enough? You do seem rather small…"

"We had eggs and toast for dinner!" Harry grinned happily, "and I got to eat three eggs to myself!"

"Indeed, well, maybe your father could cook me some eggs…"

"Don't push your luck." Severus sneered, "Now, Harry, it's time for bed. Lupi…Mr Remus and I have some things to discuss."

Harry gripped onto his Dragon tightly. "No! I don't want to!" he said, looking as if he was about to cry, "Don't make me!"

Severus, now tired and angry blurted out, "I don't have the patients for your silliness! Go to bed now, or I will…I'll…I'll send a werewolf after you!"

Harry gave in and started to rock in his chair, gripping so hard on his dragon that he might have ripped in two. Lupin, though curious why Harry was so scared of werewolves, lent in and with his hand on the child's shoulder said, "Why don't you want to go to bed, Harry?"

"I…don't like the dark." He said, "It's full of…things."

Lupin seemed to understand, and nodded, saying, "I never used to like the dark, either, when I was your age. But you know what I used to do?" Harry shook his head. "I used to take a light with me to bed…just a small one, mind, and it kept everything else away. Because, you know that light keeps away the bad things?" Harry nodded. Severus stared, emotionless. Lupin flicked his wrist, and suddenly a ball of light appeared in his hand. "Here, take this up with you, and put it by your bed. It'll keep the dark away, until you sleep." Harry's lifted his hand slowly, as if to touch it, but didn't. "Don't worry" said Lupin, "its quiet cool."

Harry rested a finger on it at first, then look it into his hand. "Wow." He said softly, "This is so….cool."

"Right, nice party trick, time for bed young man…" Severus insisted, practically grabbing the boy.

"But what about Mr Remus…" Asked Harry, being led to the stairs.

"He'll be back, don't worry." He said, shooting Lupin death stares as they disappeared up the steps.

Lupin sat at the table and waited, toying with his slice of cake briefly before picking up the kettle sitting on the side, and filled it with water from the tap. Then he placed it on the stove and sat quietly, listening for every sound from upstairs. He heard every footfall through the thin floor, and the sound of muffled voices, not strained or pained, but casual, argumentative in that way people who know that their argument is a joke are. He listened, trying to make out what was being said, and picked up his fork, gripping it hard. He soon heard foot-falls on the stairs and Lupin lowered his head, moving his face behind his forearms.

"Well, he went without a fight, this time." Severus sniffed, refusing to admit that the werewolf had done anything useful.

"Good. We need to talk."

"Oh no, I think you'll find that I have already put a curse on you…"

"I would expect nothing less." Lupin replied in a voice that would have been vicious is we weren't more exhausted, "I don't expect you to trust me, but as I can't talk to anyone else, and neither can you, why not take advantage of it? You can explain what the hell you're doing, to start off with. Why, Snape…why? He was placed with muggles for a reason; for Harry's own safety and now…"

"…he's with me, an Ex-deatheater, a slimy spy, a turncoat…I couldn't be less trustworthy." Said Snape, repeating Lupin's own thoughts like a mantra, unnerving Lupin. "I realise that of all the people for Harry to be found being looked after by, I am one of the least pleasant possibilities…on paper."

"He's James Potter's son." Said Lupin, trying not to raise his voice, "you hated his father more than anything else, and his son looked just like him. You wouldn't be able to see the difference, you'd hate him, so why? Why have you taken this boy? Are you going to torture him? Change him? Just to spite your enemy?"

"No. Although you may find this hard to believe, not every single action in my life revolves around spiting James Potter. " Severus replied, his shoulders tensing.

"Then…why?" Asked Lupin, "he was fine with his muggle family, and now…you've taken him from everything he knows and for what?"

"Lupin, as usual you are making two false assumptions. Firstly that he was, "Fine" with his muggle relatives and secondly, that he is James Potter's Son."

Lupin was stunned silent. "No." he whispered after a long pause.

"Is this so hard for you to believe, Lupin?" asked Severus.

"Yes." Lupin admitted, "Lily hated you, you know. Oh, she was forgiving, but she hated you after that 'mudblood' incident in fifth year, barely spoke a word about you after that, let alone when she discovered you'd…turned." He said _turned_ like other people said _betrayed her totally and utterly. _"I was there, when James told her. She…she didn't even question it. She believed you could do it. If she'd loved you, she wouldn't have believed it until she saw the damn mark herself."

Severus felt his fore-arm burn unconsciously. "You're right, Lupin. She didn't believe until I showed her. She went to meet me, that night, to find out if what he had said was true. And you're right, she did tell me she hated me, once she saw it… "

"What? She hadn't seen you for a good year by then!"

"No, we saw each other once a week. Once school finished, the war reached what I thought was a fever pitch, and as a seventeen year old boy, I thought it best for her to stay with someone who would protect her, not me. So I asked her to stay with you, the marauders, because I knew that you would keep her safe when I couldn't."

"No, no, this doesn't make sense…you used to be able to fight us all off, you were able to protect her…"

"….not…not with the state my mother was in then" Said Severus, his face going red, as if embarrassed even to say the word "mother" let alone admit feelings for such a person. "My father had left her, just as I was about to leave her to live with Lily…I tried to leave, but I couldn't…not as she was. Mother…wasn't exactly the most stable of women. She was so desperate. My Father may have been an arrogant, violent drunk, but he was all she had, except me. So I stayed with her, looked after her, whilst Lily went to the ministry to train as an Auror. So did Potter. He discovered us soon afterwards, he saw her come to meet me, one night, and told me so, later. He kept us secret, though, just as Lily and I kept it secret, just as we had at school. In those days whilst all of you were gallivanting about, learning to be what you are today, I would toil away at home, brewing potions and look after mother's failing health, so those nights with Lily were all I lived for."

"Then were did the Dark Mark come from?" asked Lupin, "If she meant so much to you, and the rest of the time you were a nursemaid to an old witch, then when did that happen?"

"The night…they killed my Mother, I mean.

She may have been half-insane at times, but she though she knew best for me. The Prince familty had always been attracted to the Dark magic, and she had been watching The Dark Lord as he gained power. She wanted me to be one of them, and…Lucious had been trying to get me to join, to which I'd always found some excuse not to do. Even though I knew enough dark spells to be attracted by the power, I knew that once I got that mark, I would lose everything. I knew, Lupin, so when it happened, I could barely admit it to myself, let alone anyone else."

"Dark Marks don't happen – they're chosen."

"I know…it was in a moment of madness, I chose it! Mother, you see, wanted me to be powerful, rich, everything my father hadn't been. And so…she'd convinced herself that becoming a death-eater was the only way. She had lost hope in ever winning the war against The Dark Lord, and one day, returning back from seeing Lily, I was taken to see Him, my mother pleading with me to take the Mark. He Who Must Not Be Named gave me the Mark , but killed her. She was too old and crazy to be any good to him, but I was young and clever."

"Dear God…how could you even…" Lupin stammered, "So, he killed your mother …"

"And I finally understood what he was like. I made a plea-bargin with him hoping he'd keep his word, and then left as soon as I could. I will not tell you what that oath was, but I can tell you two things. In exchange for that, I became one of his most trusted men and secondly, when he discovered that I was not to be trusted, he did not keep his word. Two days later I went to see Dumbledore. He didn't believe me, when I told him what had happened. He thought I'd taken it for myself. In a stupid way, I preferred if people believed that was true. Think I was proud and hard-hearted, rather than a fool for the sake of a mad old woman. Lily found out about the Dark Mark, of course, and ran straight into Potter's arms. They…they would have got rid of Harry, if a certain…prophesy hadn't been made. That's why he's even alive – because he was needed. James might have been arrogant, but he also did his duty. He knew he had to look after my son. "

Lupin was silent. The kettle on the stove whistled as it came to a boil. Without a word he stood up, and took the kettle off the stove, and grabbed the box of tea which sat on the windowsill and put a teabag into two mugs sitting on the draining board.

Severus laughed. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Lupin looked around and said, "It's a lot to take in. So you two carried on until you became a deatheater?"

"I didn't _become_ a deatheater. Not voluntarily. But…I suppose that's true. True enough."

"What _exactly_ is that supposed to mean?"

"We…we sort of made up before she…they went into hiding." Severus admitted, "It was an affair or anything, just…an understanding."

Lupin sighed. "So, he's your son. Dumbledore obviously had a reason not to give him to you when James and Lily were found dead." The words themselves dug under his skin, but needed to be said.

"Who would? He knew the truth, but I was a double agent, a spy. A deatheater is still a deatheater, even one who has proven his loyalty lays elsewhere." He said bitterly, as if it were a personal affront rather than an understandable caution. "No, he sent them to live with Lily's relatives. Lily's sister, Petunia, was lucky enough to be away when there was a deatheater attack on their house. Dumbledore has met Mr and Mrs Evans, they were good people and they assumed her sister would be the same. Petunia had always had a cruel streak in her, though, even as a child. But I respected Dumbledore's decision, I trusted him, I put my reservations behind me and said it was for the best."

"You should have fought." Said Lupin, "If he was your son, if he meant so much to you…"

"Lupin…I'd spent barely more than ten minutes with him before!" Severus snapped, "Potter made sure of that! And Potter…I believed what he told me; about myself not being able to be a good father to the boy, about the boy rather not having any father than having someone like me…I believed him, and in some ways I still do…but with Dumbledore not even giving me a chance…and I trusted him!"

"So what changed? Why isn't he there now? Snape, can you really expect to give him even a remotely _stable_ childhood, let alone a _good_ one?" Lupin raged through his tiredness, "James was right; you're not cut out for this sort of thing…"

"IT WAS BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVE." Snape raged back, suddenly moving towards Lupin, knocking his cup of tea over the table. He loomed over Lupin, almost spitting in his face as he shouted "THOSE MUGGLES WOULD HAVE SEEN HIM DEAD!"

Silence. Neither could believe what the other had just done. Snape stepped back, twice, and coughed. He turned the tea-cup upright again, and his back to Lupin, went to find a teacloth and to compose himself. "I'm sorry. I lost control. Forget it." Sverus whispered.

"No," Lupin said, grabbing Severus by the shoulder, "No, explain what you just said. You're not going to get me to forget about this…"

"Why I took Harry? You noticed he was too thin, too small for a boy of his age? Well, that's not my doing. The scars on his back, and the few on his chest I'm still healing? I didn't cause them. Locking him up in a cupboard so any time someone closes the door on him in a dark room he panics? I haven't made him like this. That's very much what Petunia did."

"Snape, you're being preposterous…Dumbledore would never…"

"But he did! The first time I saw the boy was sitting out in their garden, covered in cuts, having not eaten all day! He would have fainted if I hadn't…" Severus stopped speaking, unable to say what he had been doing.

"…why were you there, anyway? I thought you trusted Dumbledore…"

"I did, I still do…but…five years. Five years, and…I thought it couldn't hurt to…just _see_ him." Severus tried to explain what he meant, but the words seemed too obtuse for him to communicate properly, like trying to shove concrete through a mincer2. "I mean, he's my flesh and blood…even if it's denied."

Lupin was quiet, and took a sip of his tea.

Severus laughed at his own ridiculousness. "Curiosity got the best of me. I though…just to see how happy he was, a spoilt brat like James was…but he wasn't. He…knew what it was like to be hated. Not just disliked, but _hated. _He's my son. I couldn't let him live like that. I visited him late at night, in his cupboard, gaining his trust, listening to his story, understanding him. I formed a plan as I did. He couldn't…stay there. I couldn't allow it. I tried to talk to Dumbledore, but he said no, but I have a feeling he didn't mean it. He simply said that his own hands were tied, but that if Harry were to…go, if he was to be taken and hidden, then he could do nothing to make him go back.

"So I formed a plan; I have a method, you see, to disappear without a trace. I first developed it during the war, if necessary for…me to do so. I was far keener on inventing spells back then. However, I planned, I was going to Take Harry from school, the muggle police would search the Dursley house and I have left…clues there that will incriminate them. A blood-stained rag here, a dented pan there…with that and observations from his Teacher…I never met her, but I was aware she was taking notes. I would have Harry, keep him safe whilst the Dursley's suffered. They would suffer infamy, shame and trial by the public. They would suffer nowhere near as much as they made that boy suffer, but enough, enough for me. Actually, I only held him for the first time three days ago. It seems like a life-time ago, that."

"Snape…You're going to get found…" Lupin said, trying to be kind, "You're going to be found and they'll take Harry…"

Severus sighed. "I thought about that. I'll go to Azkaban, and be tortured until I die. Or, even worse, I'll have the kiss. I'm not entirely sure how much I care if I am. I deserve it for what I did to Lily, at the very least. But as long as Harry is safe, I don't mind."

"Azkaban isn't a joke." Said Lupin, "One of my best friends…Sirius…it's not worth it."

"I'm prepared for it." Said Severus coldly, "I've done the best I can. I've tried to make amends for my deeds, and as such, I knew the risks when I started."

"Well…I still don't like you." Lupin said, "But…two can do this job easier."

"What Job?" asked Severus.

"Well…I'm already cursed if I tell anyone about this. I might as well…help out a bit. And, well…I could do with a mattress."

Severus sighed. "I don't like this, Lupin."

"I know. But I could…keep the house, I could re-decorate! This kitchen would be lovely with different…"

"No, you're not doing anything like that! But…I do need someone to look after Harry when I go out tomorrow, to deliver the potions." Severus relented. "You can stay one night. Just one night." Severus insisted, "Do you understand?"

Lupin grinned. "Mattresses…I've heard they're all the rage these days."

Severus sighed and sniffing, said, "Well, hot and cold running water will blow your mind, won't it?"

Lupin suddenly remembered that he hadn't had a bath in over a week. "Oh, yes." He said, a little embarrassed by it, "I'm sure I can have a bath tomorrow…"

"Up the stairs, second room on your right. There are blankets in the cupboard. Try not to make a mess." Said Severus gruffly, placing his goggles over his eyes. "I've got the rest of tonight to finish these potions…"

"Goodnight Snape…" Lupin said and realised that Severus had already headed down into the cellar. Sighing, he went up the stairs to possibly the best night's sleep he'd had in a while.

* * *

I've had waaaay too much fun, writing Lupin in as well. I know everyone is here for the Snape/Harry fluffiness, but as Lupin is more naturally _nice_ than Snape it, he's a nice foil for when Snape has to be more sarcastic.

Also, I realise that Snape really _has_ told Lupin his life story here, but, well, as much as Snape doesn't want to admit it, he's lonely and now her has someone to confide in for the first time in years, even if it is under duress. Oh yes, and backstories are fun! And need to be shoehorned in!

I'm reading this at the moment, "The moment it began" (/s/3735743/77/TheMomentItBegan) and rather enjoying it. If you have a few days to kill and love Snape/Lily (like I do) as well as Alt Histories (again, myself) , then have a read. It's really rather worth it. I'm only on chapter 77, at the time of writing, but it's the kind of story where you can get to chapter 77 and still want more! I'm pretty sure it's a classic as far as fanfictions go, anyway. Anyway, goodnight!

1 True facts, according to Wikipedia - en./wiki/Werewolf#Remedies. It's how the Ancient Greeks tried to cure werewolves – by simply exhausting them through physical activity. I'm pretty sure that if someone transformed after such activity, that the wolf would be unable to hunt.

2 Useless fact – Mince is what the English call Hamburger meat. I didn't realise that Mince was called anything else until an American acquaintance of mine brought it to my attention.


	7. Lost Time

Chapter 7 – Lost time

Okay, this is officially my longest chapter now! Sorry it's taken so long to write! I went away for a week, then got writers block, then work went crazy (which it never does) and then I suddenly gained a social life, which I swear I never had before. But it all suddenly started working Sunday night – I sat down and pretty much banged out ten pages in a row, which is a lot for me. Please leave a me a comment about the direction it's taking. I'm getting quiet close to the final revelation before the _cleanup_, so, if anyone wants to try and work out what my main twist is…well, please go ahead. Let me know if I've been too obvious so far.

Also – Dietrich Bonhoeffer is officially the most kick-ass of all the Modern theologians. Not only did he try to assassinate Hitler, but he hung with the black kids in Harlem, in gospel choirs, bringing God into their lives. I mean, I don't care if you believe religion is a waste of time or not, but you have to admit, the dude had balls. He even kept on writing and preaching when he was in the death camps in germany, sharing what little he had with others. So, well…this week's quote is something said by him and even where we disagree theologically, I still hold him in high regard. I'll admit to finding his view of action being the basis for interaction with Christ a little too Matthian for my liking, and minimising the mystical experience of religion but…I'll shut up and not go on about my degree now :P

Oh yeah, I totally indulged myself with some nineties pop in this chapter. Well, an excuse to break out my knowledge of Britpop anyway. And T-Rex. T-Rex are awesome, even if Bowie did it better and louder. Please forgive me.

XXXXX

Chapter 7 – Lost Time

"Time lost is time when we have not lived a full human life, time unenriched by experience, creative endeavor, enjoyment, and suffering."

**Dietrich Bonhoeffer**

**XXXXXXX**

"Well, here we are, in deepest darkest Surrey" Ingmarr joked as Aonghus apparated in, "oh yes, what an exciting life we lead as Aurors! One day we're snatching panties from Primary school teachers, the next; snatching panties from suburban housewives!"

"I'm not snatching anyone's underwear, male or female!" Aonghuis hissed, "You're going to interview Mrs Dursley and slip her the Verirtasserum is necessary and I'm going to check around the house to gather evidence. No panties involved."

Ingmarr pulled a small bottle from his pocket, and held it up to the light. "We're getting a bit low – this is the last dose…we need to order some more soon. Moody's got this supplier; you're not really meant to sell this stuff, and half the time you get it, someone's just selling water with a few leaves in it, but this guy is able to get the good stuff. Not only that, but made by Snape. Everyone knows that Snape makes the best potions. Nothing can come close to it for…potency."

"Pah, everyone knows that the old bat is practically a hermit these days." Spat Aonghus, "Scared of what people will do to him, I think, deatheater scum."

"Don't be so harsh. Loads of people joined the deatheaters because they were being controlled by He-Who-must-Not-Be-Named…" argued Ingmarr, playing devils advocate.

"…not Snape, though. He's like Lucius Malfoy; the only reason they're not in Azkaban is because they were smart enough to destroy the evidence that would link them willingly with Him." Aonghus said conspiratorially, "I heard Snape made a plea bargin with Dumbledore…that's how he got off."

"Well, be that as it may, but he serves a purpose, our purpose. Truth be told, I don't care where he stands these days. He-who-Must-Not-Be-Named is dead. Even if he believes what He-Who-must-not-be-named stands for, there's not much he can do. If a deatheater does so much as sneeze they'd end up in Azkaban. Anyway, it doesn't matter. We've got a muggle to interview. Aonghus – cloak up."

Aonghus wrapped the silvery cloth he was carrying around his shoulders, disappearing in plain sight, unconcerned what the neighbours would think. "Right, its number 5, Priviett drive, right?"

"Number 4." Corrected Ingmarr, as he strode into the immaculate front Garden, and rung the doorbell.

Aonghus looked around and sniggered, "You know what they say about suburban housewives…"

Ingmarr, with a face like thunder hissed, "Oh, shut up…get back to your panty snatching!"

The door opened, and Petunia Dursley looked out to see a tall, stern faced young man wearing a pinstriped acid yellow zoot suit with a black waistcoat and a purple lace jabot around his neck. She tried to close the door, but he stuck his foot in the door. "Excuse me Mrs Dursley, but we need to ask you a few more questions."

"I though we've spoken to your lot already!" She hissed, "Go!"

"Mrs Dursley, I'll leave once I have asked a few more questions. Can I come in?"

Petunia, staring at Ingmarr's hand pulling the door open and his strained expression, sighed and relented, allowing him to open the door. As he walked into the surgically clean hallway he felt Aonghus brush by him, and head towards the stairs. Ingmarr prayed that there were no squeaky floorboards.

As Ingmarr breathed in the house, he was lead along the clinical hall and into the living room. As he sat down in the living room, he looked around, thinking to himself that the place looked so perfect that it wouldn't have looked out of place in a magazine. Indeed, the place was so elegantly unoriginal that he searched desperately for any sign of human life. He found it in the almost comical amount of photos hanging on the wall, involving a large, redfaced man and what on first impression seemed to be some kind of pink beach ball with a wig on. _Ah_, he thought to himself, _that must be Mr Dursley and their son…odd, though, he_ thought, scanning the wall for a lightening shaped scar,_ not a single picture of Harry…_

Petunia Dursley stared at Ingmarr with a slack-jawed, expectant expression. He cleared his throat self-consciously and said, "Ah, yes, don't worry about anything. I was just asked to come here and clear up a few last questions."

"Have they found the boy yet?" She asked, her voice totally inscrutable.

"No, not yet. We're looking." Replied Ingamrr diplomatically, "Can I have a glass of water?" He asked.

Petunia went to the kitchen to get one, and returned moments later with a glass for both herself and Ingmarr. As she did, he saw the door to the cupboard under the stairs open.

Thinking quickly, he put a few drops of Veritaserum into her water and said, "Mrs Dursley, we understand that you've been looking after Harry for…four years now?"

"Almost five." She replied curtly, taking a good long drink "With no extra financial assistance, I may add."

Ingmarr, being wizard born, didn't know much about muggle things, but he had a vague feeling that if the Dursley's were hard up, they wouldn't have a television roughly the size of a Great Dane sitting on a glass-topped table by the wall. He continued, "Mrs Dursley, what do you know about Harry Potter?"

"He's the son of my dead sister." She replied, "and a frea…wizard, just like his father."

"So, no one explained to you that he holds a special…significance to the magical community?"

"No…just got a basket with a letter…just told to look after him, why?"

"You see, Mrs Dursley, Harry is a very special wizard, and, as such, he had…enemies. People who'd want to take him away. I was wondering if you'd seen anyone like that around here?"

Petunia sat up, looking like a sparrow ruffiling her feathers. "No, not at all. We're very respectable people around here! None of your _sort_ live around here." Then she added, "Harry barely had _friends_, let alone anyone who would follow him like that." She shook her head, obviously not expecting herself to say such a thing.

Ingmarr might have smiled if he hadn't needed her not to suspect anything. The Veritaserum was kicking in already. He began to close in. "Oh, really. I got the impression he was a rough-and-tumble kind…"

"Oh, not at all…"

"You see, Harry's teacher kept a note of all the bruises and cuts he came in with." Ingmarr said, finally getting to what he wanted to say, "and, well…we had a look over the picture and notes and it all looks rather _suspicious. _I was wondering if you would be able to answer some questions…"

"Harry was a very clumsy boy…please don't…"

"If you don't answer my questions truthfully, I will have to assume the person who took Harry was your Husband, Mrs Dursley. Indeed, he's a big, strong man, perfectly capable of laying bruises on the boy. We were given a copy of this file by the Muggle Police; if they make the connection between your husband and him hitting Harry, they'll go down the easiest route and accuse your husband of having killed the Boy and hiding his body. His name…your name, Mrs Dursley, will be dragged through the mud and you'll never live down the shame. However, if you tell us the truth, everything, we can do what we can to at least give your son a chance to escape the infamy."

Petunia, as the Veritasserum started to kick in, suddenly began to weep. "Oh God, they'll take Dudikins away…"

"Tell me the truth, Mrs Dursley…" Ingmarr said kindly, feeling far more affection for the poor woman than he knew he ought.

Petunia grabbed a tissue from a crochetted tissue box holder and dabbed at her eyes. "He…Harry…Oh God that boy! He was dumped on our doorstep, no proper explanation, no help, no nothing…just a note telling us that Lily…my sister…she was dead. She was dead, and I knew it that that…boy's fault! It was the reason my parents were killed, as well! Killed because they knew he was there! What were we supposed to do? Vernon…we were just married, just had out son…our beautiful son…and then on our doorstop this ugly, thin little thing! When he first arrived, he never stopped crying; just crying and crying, nothing I could do would stop it! I tried…I tried, but I was hurt too! Then, one day I lost my temper with him and…hit him around the face. And he stopped crying. He stopped. And I…we fell."

Ingmarr held her hand. "Lily had been so beautiful, so perfect, and at times I hated her for it; even before she went to that…freak place, she was set to go to Wycombe Abbey1 on a full scholarship. But then she got a letter to go…there…and not only did people view her as special, but she _was_ special. She really _did_ have some power no one could live up to. But it wasn't enough. With her power came her death, though we didn't know it then. Came my parent's death. Almost came _my _death. And ever time I looked into that child's face, all I could see was the death he had caused us, caused her, _his_ fault why my mother and father were dead, _his_ fault why Lily couldn't look after him. Everywhere that child went, death followed, even before he was born. I couldn't forgive him. Vernon, couldn't forgive him either. And soon, soon after I hit him for the first time, it became normal. We started off locking him in his…room…under the stairs…just to not have to look at him for a few minutes. Then…minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days. Slaps on the wrist turned to smashing them in the oven. And…oh God, I didn't want to say it felt good, but every time Vernon gave him what deserved, and I looked into his freakish face in pain, I knew he knew some of the pain he'd caused me!"

"He was a child." Said Ingmarr, strongly, "He was just a child…"

"He was a monster!" She hissed, "And as he grew up, he started to act more and more like her little wizard boyfriend! So calm and quiet, so strange, as if something else was hiding behind those eyes, no longer yelping when Vernon would take him and knock some sense into him. We tried to tire him out with constant cleaning, constant work, keeping him tired and low, but nothing worked…he still showed signs that he was… different. But I never hit him" she said, "I never hit him. Vernon did, but I never hit him after that one time. I hated him, but could never bring myself to _properly_ hurt him."

"I think you did more than enough." Said Ingmarr, coldly.

"But…I want you to know that I never _hit_ him. I may have locked him in his cupboard, I may have shouted at him, made him work harder than he could…but I never hit him." Petunia started weeping again, "oh God, Dudi…what have I done…"

"Mrs Dursley, before Harry disappeared, did anything unusual happen?"Ingmarr pressed, "Did he, for example, seem less…magical…than usual, talk about a man coming to save him…"

"No, no…actually…he seemed different for about three days before he was…taken. I can't pinpoint it, but he angered me less, then. He seemed, less odd. As for a man…I'm not sure, but sometimes, when I heard him in his cupboard, he seemed to be talking to himself as if someone was there. Usually we'd bang on the door and it'd stop, but…maybe…but how on earth would anyone get into a locked room?"

"Hmm, I don't know." Said Ignmarr, "But even so, now we know that Harry had a reason to want to leave home. He would have taken any offer to leave."

"P…please don't say that." Petunia said, weeping, "I know we did wrong…"

"It's a bit late for that." Ingmarr snapped, "I'm going to have to report this to the muggle police. You probably want to get some lies ready, to save your skin and your son."

"but…but you said…"

"We'll make sure your son is well treated. However, I can't say the same about yourself and your husband." He stood up, and walked over to a picture. "Is this him, your son?"

Petunia nodded. Ingmarr held his wand out and waving it over the picture muttered, "_tueorigo_" under his breath. "This should prevent any harm coming to him from yourself of your husband" he explained, "I wish I'd been able to do the same for Harry Potter."

"No…no…we never…he was a…"Petunia stammered, scared and ashamed.

"Mrs Dursley, I now know everything I need to know." He finished, "thank you for your help and your…honesty."

The man left, spending a few seconds in the hallways before he left, as if waiting for someone. Then, as the door shut, Petunia knocked the un-drunk glass of water over as she fell down dizzy. She knew, just then, that the world, _her_ world, was about to fall apart, pieces falling away like a smashed plate, each piece dropping one by one until they all broke beyond repair. Her stomach suddenly seemed bottomless, filling with a sicken worry, her entire body filling up with pins and needles as her heart and lungs went numb.

Her perfect life, so briefly perfect, was over.

Even now, with the impending reality of losing everything before her, Petunia could only think, _Lily, you've ruined my life again._

* * *

Severus apparated into the front garden, cursing loudly. Not only had his delivery gone badly, but he was far later back than he'd hoped he would be. He'd had to spend a full two hours, "discussing" things with the odious little man who owned the apothecary he sold to.

_You're getting sloppy, Snape_, he'd sneered, piggy eyes staring at Severus with disapointment_, The ministry are on my back about getting more Veritaserum, and you say you ruined it!_

Severus opened the door to the house, hoping against hope that Harry was still asleep, and that he hadn't woken up thinking he'd abandoned him. As he walked in, he noticed that there was a strange sound in the Kitchen. As he took a step forward, he suddenly knew what it was.

"_Catch a bright star and a place it on your fore-head," _sang a tinny voice, which sounded like a song that had been mangled through a teastrainer, "_ Say a few spells and baby, there you go! Take a black cat and sit it on your shoulder. And in the morning you'll know all you know, oh."_

Snape walked into the kitchen to find Remus Lupin, wearing a tatty grey2 pinstripe suit and a plain red t-shirt, cooking bacon and eggs as Harry sat at the table, moving in time to the music emitting from a beaten-up old radio as he ate scrambled eggs. He also noticed Lupin dancing a little too.

"Wear a Tall Huuuaaaaat like a Druid in the Oooold Daaaaays" Sang Lupin, out of tune, only vaguely in time with the music, as he noticed Severus hanging at the door like a bat returning to his cave in daylight. On seeing him he belted out "Wear a Tall Huuuuaaaaat and a tatooed goooooooouuuwn! Ride a HhhWhite Swwwannn like the peeeeeople of the Belt-tane," And turning to Severus, Lupin belted out, "Weaaaar your haaaaair Long, babe you Can't go Wwwrrrrong."

Harry giggled, whilst Severus stared at the werewolf with an expression of extreme distaste. Why this song? Lily liked to listen to it, when they were eleven, saying it made her think of all those times coming at Hogwarts. She used to hold her hand up to his forehead, placing a bright star their and giggiling as she did so, him blushing shyly. He remembered how her eyes sparkled with innocent glee as they searched out the ledgent of the Beltane in his house whilst his dad was out, looking through all the old books together, finally piecing together the tale of the Fire priests of ancient Wales who used to be able to turn into swans, and used to bring in the summer by building big bonfires to protect wizards and muggles alike from evil spirits. He remember how Lily, in her weaker moments would turn around to him and ask why muggles and wizards couldn't get along like they once did, why they couldn't just build bonfire together to save everyone from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He remembered looking into those eyes, pleading with sadness and only being able to hang his head, stupefied into silence.

Memories of Lily, that's all he needed after his twenty six hour day.

He sat down at the table, and after a brief effort to pretend he felt less tired than he did, he held out his wand, promptly switched off the radio and then, unable to keep it up, let his head flop to the table, banging it loudly. "What on earth is that infernal racket?" Snaped asked, his voice edged with exhausted frustration.

"Bowie, I think" replied Lupin curtly.

"Apart from the fact you're wrong, It's T-Rex, I mean…where did you find that radio?"

"The same place I found these clothes, in a box in the spare bedroom marked, _Spare rags and target practise only_." Lupin made a point of enunciating his words perfectly. "I'm not sure why you wouldn't want these…they're quiet decent, really…"

Remus was about to question him further when Severus groaned loudly.

"Dad…are you all right…" asked Harry, concerned, "Why were you out…I was worried until Mr Remus…"

"Harry, I went to see a man about selling him some of those potions we made." Said Snape, not moving his head from the table, "I've been up all night, and I'm a little tired…" Harry got up from his place, and slipping his hands over Severu's arched back and under his sunken chest, hugged his father. Severus smiled a stupid smile that never usually made it to his lip, and moved his arms to hug Harry back. Holding the boy loosely he said "Thanks, Harry. That's made me feel better…"

"Can I hug you too?" Asked Lupin.

"Not on your life." Replied Severus, not missing a beat, "My hugs are reserved for Harry only."

Harry grinned openly as Severus squeezed him a little tighter. Though he liked Mr Remus, he quiet liked having his father's affections just to himself.

"…I'm guessing your negotiations didn't go all that well…" Lupin suggested, feeling oddly annoyed at Snape's rejection.

"Considering that you, Lupin, knocked over the potion which was meant to feed us for the next month, no, it didn't." Severus sat bolt upright, "Thankfully I've still got a job, but money is going to be tight until I've delivered another batch of Veritasserum…"

"Well, thankfully I get a little money each week." Lupin smiled, "So perhaps I should stay here, help out a bit…"

Severus, a little shocked and unable to believe Lupin was even employable, let alone had money, demanded, "Where do you get money from, Lupin?"

"I can't get a job as I am – no muggle qualifications and, well, my condition prevents me from getting any Wizard jobs. So, I sign on."

"Sign on what?" asked Severus.

"Sign on for benefits, get a gyro, on the dole…" Lupin said, trying to explain. Both Harry and Snape looked at him uncomprehendingly. "Because I can't work, the muggle government give me money so I can live. Just about. As they count lycanthropy as a disability, they are essentially paying me off to pretend that I don't exist, officially."

"It's enough to keep you in gin" added Severus, bitterly. The werewolf was a famous alcoholic in Hogsmead; Had been since Black and Pettigrew had blown each other up. Some had said it was the last straw of Lupin's sanity, seeing the last of his friends die. Severus considered that it had taken some men far less than that to give up entirely.

"It's enough for me to do a food shop today." Lupin said, avoiding taking Snape's bate, "Harry, do you fancy coming along with me?"

"Hmm, it could be dangerous, Lupin…" Snape started.

"Snape…no one will recognise Harry as he looks now." Lupin said exasperatedly, "He barely looks like James at all now, thanks to you!"

Severus looked over at the boy.Indeed, it had only been two days, and Harry was already unrecognisable as the boy he first saw in the backyard. Gone was the short messy hair, replace with the long black fine hair, his nose was slowly hooking, just like his own, although his eyes…they remained bright green, just like Lily's had been. Luckily for the boy, he'd also inherited his mother's complexion, his skin pale, but with a healthy glow about it, unlike Severus' deathly pallor which burnt as the first sign of sunlight.

_Indeed, no, nobody would recognise him now,_ _t_hought Severus, smiling a little to himself, "He's starting to look just like, me, you know."

Lupin bit his tongue, knowing that he would say something unnecessarily horrible if he didn't. It didn't matter, anyway…Harry, was happy. He smiled back at his father, proud, happy. It was odd, watching the two of them. He'd never imaged Harry, really. He'd always thought of him as a baby and in some ways, this thin, excitable, nervous boy was totally different to the sweet, chubby3 baby Lily and Prongs… James had held in their arms five years ago. But even so, he could see Lily in him, like a shape in smoke, a certain look, a sparkle in the eye, a movement of the hand. But then again, Lupin had a hard time imagining Snape being kind to someone, but somehow…he because less cold around Harry, something within the bat-like man because…more human, perhaps? Lupin wasn't sure, but thought it was good, anyway.

It was just then that he realised that Snape had finally fallen asleep in his chair, breathing quietly, hair hangover over his face, hiding everything but the end of his beak-like nose. "Harry…let's leave your dad to rest for a bit, eh? He's had a long night…let's put him on the sofa, and let him get a little sleep."

Lupin drew out his wand, performed the _Mobilicorpus_ charm and carried Snape body into the living room, placing his body on the couch, much to Harry's amazement.

"You're a wizard too?" asked Harry, eyes wide open in amazement.

"Yes, I am." Lupin smiled as he lowered Snape onto the sofa, "There are a lot more of us out there as well."

Harry's eyes shined with joy. "Wow…"

"Now, Harry, your Dad's going to be asleep for a while…" said Lupin, taking uncharacteristic pity on the emotionally and physically exhausted man snoozing away on the grimy, rickety couch, "Anything you want to do?"

"More magic?" Asked Harry.

Lupin laughed, "Sure! What would you like to see?"

And so, Severus slept a thankfully dreamless sleep and woke up five hours later to the sound of Harry and Lupin laughing in the kitchen. Severus sat up, a blanket he didn't remember covering him, and Henham, that damn toy dragon Harry seemed to have become obsessed with, falling out from under his arms. After a few seconds, he realised that he must have fallen asleep after getting back, and he'd been asleep for the best part of the day. He swung his legs around, and stood up, steadying himself on a bookshelf and staggered towards the kitchen.

"_Sheeeeeee said, sheeeeeee said, sheeeeeeeeee saAAAIIIIIid._" Sang that detestable tinny little radio, "_She's deaaaaaAAAAAAad, she's dead__4_"

Severus looked into the kitchen and saw something…well…magical. Lupin and harry had obviously been outside earlier and had picked a few flowers, which Harry now held in his hands, the petals opening and shutting like clams showing Lupin what he could do, as the werewolf sat opposite him, mouth agape.

"Dad!" Said Harry Loudly, turning around, "look! I'm doing…"

"…magic." Ended Severus, his voice devoid of all emotion. Harry looked scared, afraid of him for a second, until Severus burst out laughing. "Harry, you're doing magic!" Severus grinned at the boy, grabbing the boy by the shoulders and leaning over him, "That's…brilliant!"

"Not many children show ability this young, Severus…" said Lupin.

"Perhaps not you, Lupin. Harry, on the other hand…"Severus grinned. He remembered many years ago, in a playground, having convinced himself that himself and his mother were the only, nay, last wizards in the world with Hogwarts only being a dream, he came across a girl, a beautiful girl, with red hair and a bright smile that burnt into his mind like a brand, who did the same thing Harry was doing now, but to her muggle sister who did not understand.

It was as if the boy knew. And if this was what he was like, a few days after his magic should be returning to him, Severus could barely imagine what he'd be like in a week or so. Harry's newly long hair flopped out of his eyes, and his scar showed. Severus instinctively held him closer.

Remus smiled to himself, watching as Snape's shell cracked a little around the boy.

Severus suddenly held his nose in the air and sniffed. "What's that smell?" he asked.

"Oh, Harry and I started cooking something whilst you were sleeping," said Lupin casually, "hope you don't mind."

"I mashed the potatoes all by myself!" said Harry proudly.

Severus sniffed again. "Shepard's pie?" he asked.

"Oh yes." Remus smiled, "meat and potatoes, perfectly healthy and better than a diet of cheese and bread."

Severus would have complained at the werewolf for making such a pointed comment, but decided to bite his tongue as it had been a very long time since he'd had Shepard's pie. No point to it, he'd reasoned, living on his own, it'd go to waste. However, the smell of meat and gravy enticed his senses and made his stomach feel as if it'd swung open, demanded to be fed. His stomach, as such, made an appropriate noise.

"I'm hungry too…" said Harry quietly.

"Why are you cooking again?" Severus demanded, "I am perfectly capable of looking after myself and Harry…"

"That might be, but who said I was looking after you?" snorted Lupin, "Harry and I were hungry. I'd bought food."

"I helped carry it!" Harry interjected, "And I kept quiet and didn't say anything whilst we were out!"

Severus felt a burning pang of guilt and panic as he heard Harry say that. It would only be a matter of time until he was found, and it was for only so long he could pretend that Harry wasn't The Boy Who Lived. Yet, even so, seeing Harry so…relaxed, at ease, made his choice seem right. He tried not to think otherwise, for now. "good boy, " Severus muttered, staring at Lupin intently who wisely didn't say what he was thinking.

"Dad…you look sad." Harry said, and picked up a flower he'd left on the table again, and, touching it, turned it from while to blue.

"I'm not sad, " severus forced a smile, "I'm just…thinking hard."

"You should play a game with Henham and me." Said Harry, shoving the increasingly dirty toy in his face.

Severus let himself smile a second time, and taking hold of the dragon said, "Maybe I should play more."

"Here here." Added Lupin, grinning as Severus scowled back.

"Hmm, maybe we should leave England for a while, " mused Severus, making the toy flutter with a swish of his wand "Go to Romania, take you to see real Dragons."

"Real dragons? They're real too?" gasped Harry, "Oh dad, they're real?"

"Yes, they very much are." Said Severus, "They're rare these days, though."

"Did the Dragon killers get them?" Asked Harry, his eyes wide open with fear before he spluttered "I hate Dragon Killers!"

"Oh, no, it wasn't Dragon Killers, "said Severus, "It was the cities and the trains. There wasn't any room for Dragons any more, really. Big old beasts living on sheeps and cows in fields, the occasional town of people, but now-er-days, the cows and sheep live indoors in barns and people live in big concrete cities. In the end, the Dragons began to starve to death."

"Then…I hate cities and trains!" Harry said angrily.

Severus laughed, "Maybe we should leave the city soon. Go see the dragons in the countryside." Harry's face split into a wide grin, which made his eyes glimmer like Lily's use to, when they spoke about the future they never had. Severus felt the back of his neck tingle with guilt. Better to let Harry think he was going to visit Dragons that leave England and go into hiding from the wizarding world. He tried to ignore Lupin's angry stare and said, "Would you like that?"

"Can we ride the dragons?" Asked Harry, " Uncle Vernon always said Dragons didn't exist, and that we can't fly, but Dragons can fly and I want to fly too…"

"Oh, I don't know…" said Severus, "I'm sure I can arrange something…"

"Yes! And I can send a card to Miss Smyth."

Suddenly Severus felt himself go cold. "Miss Smyth?" he asked. Harry had mentioned her before, but for some reason him mentioning her name brought him back to reality.

"His teacher, "Lupin added, unhelpfully, "at his school?" There was a theatrical pause as the werewolf breathed in and added, "When _is_ Harry going to go back to school?"

"He's too bright for school – we can teach him, teach him everything he needs to know." Severus said.

"I would quiet like to go back." Said Harry quietly, "I miss Miss Smyth. She was always nice to me. And she was pretty. You'd like her, Dad."

Severus intentionally didn't have an opinion. But he remembered her face, as he turned around, about to leave. She'd seen him. He hadn't planned for a squib; whilst they couldn't do magic, they weren't as…oblivious as muggles. In some ways it seemed like a cruel joke of fate, to be able to see magic in the world everywhere, but be unable to be part of it. Squibs were the spectators of life, never a part of the muggle world they never could understand nor a part of the wizarding world from which they were locked out from. But even so…she had seen him and in that moment, she knew.

Could she know who he was?

No, not possibly. Severus had intentionally kept a low profile since the fall of The Dark Lord; no one would know him from any other person. But the thought filled him with a cold fear.

And the smell of burning potato.

"Oh, I left it on!" Lupin said, rushing to the oven, and opening it up in a cloud of eye-watering smoke. Lupin staggered back, and grabbing the pair of oven gloves on the table started fanning away the smoke. "Snape, you should clean your oven more." He said, accusatorially.

"You should check the ovens you cook in, before you do so." Severus retorted with barely a beat.

"I always assumed you were a clean person, I never expected your oven to resemble a crematorium. Whose corpse did you roast in here last?" Lupin scolded. Harry giggled, but tried not to.

"It might be yours next." Severus said, uncreatively, "Now, are you serving that damn pie or not?"

Lupin lifted the dish out of the oven, and placed it on the table with a loud and deliberate thump. "You can have some, if you want it."

Severus lent forward, peering over the edge and stared deeply into the blackened dish, and wondered what the recommended daily intake of charcoal was. "It's perfectly fine…" he said, looking at a slightly anxious Harry, "we just need to scrape the black off."

"Scrape, excavate, same thing." Lupin joked, picking up a knife from the drying rack and cutting through the burnt top with the smallest of cracks, served a large portion onto a plate. "You first." Lupin proffered.

Snaped sighed, and after lazily summoning a knife and fork from the cutlery draw, scraped the worst of the burnt on food off, and took a bite. Severus knew that food wasn't meant to taste woody, but something about the overcooked-ness reminded him of birchwood. He chewed ominously, Harry shrinking back as if afraid, and Lupin leaning forward, as if amused.

Then suddenly the juiceness of the meat with the thickness of the gravy hit his tongue, its landing cushioned by the soft, creamy potato. Without thinking Severus greedily took a second spoonful and said, "It's very good."

Lupin leaned back, and found another plate, Harry lent forward and smiled. Once Lupin placed a serving before Harry, he took a fork and started to eat voraciously, which Severus encouraged silently as he cursed the Dursleys in his mind. He idly wondered if Harry ate like that because he didn't know when he'd eat next, didn't know if he was going to turn on him and turn into every adult Harry had ever known before – cruel, unpredictable and unkind. The very thought of this made his head heat up in fury, but his expression revealed nothing.

* * *

_It never did,_ Umbridge thought, _to let them think they'd got away with it._

She burst into her office, and found moody was sitting at her desk, playing with one of her quills casually.

"Ah, Moody, just the person I was looking for." She sneered, "Will you explain to me why I spent this morning in a muggle police station making a statement about arresting a group of brothel owners?"

"Oh, you did?" said Moody, mildly amused as he scratched out a word with the quill, "Seems like one of your people got something wrong. But at least you did some good, eh?"

"Good? What good?" She spat, "wasting six hours on muggles? No Moody, that isn't good! We could have been doing something cinstructive in that time!"

"Rather than arresting men who abuse women and children?" he asked, the question intentionally leading.

"Eh…it's so…dirty. I had to go get changed." Umbridge muttered, absent mindedly, "damn muggles…"

Moody held up his hand, and watched as blood started to seep out of the sharply cut word "bitch" on his hand. "So, you going to accept that you need my help or not?"

"Help? Help!" She snapped, "I have reason to believe that you were behind this little inconvenience, you have nothing but hinder this case!"

"I don't know, I have been the only one to come up with solutions so far…" he said as the cut healed, twirling in quill between his thumb and forefinger.

"Give that to me," She snarled, grabbing the quill out of his hand, "Not only have you embarrassed me, but you've embarrassed the ministry! Imagine what happened when we apparated in! You know the rule; no involvement in muggle matters! Never! Under no circumstances! So apparating in and…disabling all the men in that room…"

"…Oh, if you disabled them using your usual methods, I doubt that they'll be able to piss standing up ever again; as I said…you've done some good." Moody opened a draw, and pulled out a small, inoffensive bottle. "hmm, Snape Brand…only the best, eh?"

Umbridge growled loudly.

"Hmm, guarantees an orgasm in five minutes or less! For the woman with a busy career, I suppose." Umbridge's face turned an nasty shade of angry beetroot. "No need to be shy, Umbridge, not all of us can have a partner. Then again, not all of us are spiteful, vindictive, ugly old women who were past it when they popped out of the womb."

"Moody! Get out of that draw right now if you value your career!"

Moody grinned, and pocketed the bottle, leaving the draw open in a gester of defiance. "Well, I doubt you'll be getting even five minutes to yourself in the near future; revealing yourself in front of muggles! Tut tut, Umbridge…not to mention using your…methods on them."

"My methods?" She asked, as if it were a personal insult.

"Oh yes, your methods are quiet famous, really." He said, "I may have innovated numerous defence charms myself, but you…you have a rare talent for torture. Haven't ever seen it outside You-Know-who…"

"Get out" she snarled.

"My pleasure! Though, before I leave, do you want a clue of where to find Harry Potter?"

Umbridge might have laughed derisively if she were not in such a foul mood. Instead she sneered, eyes narrowing and said, "What would you know?"

"Hmmm, not much, I'll admit. But remember the Dursleys? You placed them below suspicion, nice people with no reason to harm the boy; well, guess what? Turns out that they weren't so harmless after all; systematically abused the boy, starvation, beatings, abandonment, neglect, they did it all, and so much more! My assistants have given the details to the muggle police; Vernon Dursley in custody right now."

Umbridge was in shock. "Oh no…how could they….I was so wrong about them…" Umbridge actually stumbled back into a chair and said, "So you're telling me that the boy who lived…he was killed…by…"

"The muggle police have taken that opinion." Moody replied, "I'm currently looking into it." He fully well knew that whilst those muggles may have been disgusting human beings, they'd never kill; too final, too messy, too many risks. The thing was watching Umbridge squirm.

"No, it can't be true!"

"Well, there's no body, but their back garden is being excavated as we speak,. I'd personally recommend getting a werewolf in whilst the scent is still fresh."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier!" Umbridge hissed.

"Why do you think I was here?" Moody said, "For my health? I think not."

"I need to get back out there! Investigate this!"

"In that case, I will leave and return to my office."

Moody walked towards the door. As he did so, Umbridge said, "You know, Moody, I won't forget this."

"I hope you never do." He replied.

"You have a bad habit of making powerful enemies." She muttered.

"No, just you." He replied, without missing a beat.

"You know, I'm going to give you a little advice…I'd watch your back, if I were you." She said, meaningfully, "You never know when accidents will happen."

"Well, if an accident happens to me, I'll know where to look." He swung open her office door and said, "Good day to you, Umbridge. I hope you enjoy your time investigating the muggles." And with that, he closed her door shut with a short, sharp slam.

* * *

Whoa! This chapter weighs in at 6500 words, or there about! At the moment, this is possibly my favourite chapter, though less keen on the second half. My edit this time around has been a bit more detailed and I've added in a lot more.

What more to say? Working on Chapter eight, which should make the twist pretty damn clear if not clear enough already! I hope you've enjoyed this, and sorry about the wait!

1 According to the Internet and some experience, apparently generally accepted to be the best girls school in England (it's a private boarding school and we see Petunia was simply left to the local grammar, possibly because she wasn't seen as gifted as Lily, intellectually, rather than not loved).

2 Despire what Microsoft spellcheck (US version) says, it's spelt Grey. Not Gray.

3 What petunia sees as "thin" is perhaps different to what other people see as Thin. This may be explored later, depending on how much I want to push on.

4 These are real lyrics to a song by a band called Longpig ("She said", for those who couldn't guess, and the interested), which work in my messed up HP timeline. Also, when I found this song, I kinda had to shoehorn it in, because those lyrics are perfect, even if everything else isn't.


	8. Accidents

Chapter 8 – Accidents

Hi hi! Well, it's been a long time since I updated, but then again, a lot has happened! I got made redundant, due to credit crunch, hired somewhere else two hours later, got physically attacked and my mobile phone stolen in the same night (though at different times), went to London Expo (Big Convention in England) and dressed as Jessie from team rocket – costume took more than the twenty minutes it looked like it did to construct – and forced a friend to dress up as Snape for my amusement, as well as the amusement of others. Have a brilliant photo of him posing with some Snape/Harry manga we found. And he took it all with rather good humour.

And probably some other stuff. I built a book case the other day!

Anyway, here is the chapter. It's all fairly good stuff, or so I like to think, though again I'm not so happy with the second half, but not sure how to fix it. Suggestions?

XXXXXX

_There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed" – Napoleon Bonaparte_

XXXXXX

"…And so the Soldier brought the head of the Gorgon to the king in a burlap sack, and said to him, 'I have brought you the head of the gorgon! I demand my freedom!'

The king looked at the Soldier suspiciously and said, 'I will not believe it, or give you your freedom, until you show me the head!'

So the soldier, having hear what the wise old man had told him, closed his eyes and said, 'Your wish is my command!'

As the soldier lifted the head out the bag, the king lent forward, and then, instantly, turned into stone! The cruel old King was finally dead! So the soldier claimed the princess as his wife and took over the kingdom, which he ruled fairly and kindly until the end of his days." Severus closed the muggle notebook of children's stories his mother had written down during one of her better period, which he'd found when tidying his ingredients cupboard the other night and placed it on a shelf next to Harry's bed.

Harry, snuggled up under the dull green and white covers, looked up at his father between strands of long black hair and asked, "Why did the king need to die?"

"He was cruel to his people and so the only way to stop him was to kill him." Replied Severus.

"But…they could have locked him away or something! Made him stop being horrible, but he could have still lived!" Harry protested, "The soldier didn't need to kill him!"

"The soldier didn't kill him, " Severus replied, "The king killed himself by demanding to see the head, when he knew what the gorgon did."

"Yes…but…"

"The only way to free the people was to stop the King. The Soldier would never have been allowed to lock the king up, or say anything against him, so he had to kill the king like the Wise Old Man had told him to; through his own folly."

"still…it's sad that he had to die." Said Harry.

"Harry, " Severus tucked his son in for the last time and moved a few stray strands for his face, "Goodnight, son."

Severus was about to stand up when Harry said, "Why don't you like Remus, Daddy?"

Severus stopped. This was not a conversation he particularly wanted to have with Harry. Not ever, but certainly not right now; explaing who the maurarders were and what hr blamed them for was something he didn't like to think about himself, let alone tell anyone else. He did try to think something up, but decided that, in the end, the truth would be sufficient. "When Remus and I were children, he played a very nasty prank on me, which nearly led to my death. He was only a child and he had no idea what he was doing, but even so, I have never been able to be friends with him."

Harry was struck silent for a moment, but said, "Okay. Goodnight Dad."

Severus found himself hugging his son. "Don't worry about that, though, will you? Just think about the Dragons. We'll be going to seem them soon!"

Harry smiled. "Will Remus be going with us?"

Severus stopped for a second and said, "Ask him tomorrow. It's his choice."

"I want him to come." Said Harry, "he's funny and clever and really good at playing games."

"I'm sure he is." Said Severus, keeping his desire to be snarky inside him, tucking Harry in yet another time, "but we'll talk about this in the morning. Sweet dreams."

"You too." Harry smiled, and curled up to sleep, holding the glowing ball of light in his hands. Severus turned off the lights and went downstairs, promising himself to get himself started on his orders earlier, and to start the veritaserum tonight. However, once he came within hearing distance of the kitchen, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Being both a skilled Legiment, as well as aware of the subtle change in the air when alcohol was involved, it seemed that Remus Lupin was now doing what he had been doing for the last few years; drinking.

When Snape finally entered the kitchen he saw the werewolf hunched over, back to the door, drinking what Snape presumed to be Vodka (though the smell was as if someone had soaked a German Shepard in methanol). He felt an irrational anger rising in him; how dare he? How dare the werewolf drink in his house? Didn't he know alcohol was almost purely sugar? The wolfsbane he'd drunk earlier would be useless now! Didn't he care that he was putting Harry in further danger?

Instead of raging in and smashing the bottle against Lupin's head, as he rather wished he could, he breathed in and in the coldest voice he had, said, "What, Lupin, do you think you're doing?"

Lupin turned around and swore.

"What's that you're drinking?" Severus finally strode into the room and picked up the bottle, staring at the red, white and blue label. "hmm, own brand vodka? Circa 1996? Classy, Lupin, classy."

"Well, what now, Snape!" Lupin jeered back, "You caught me drinking – what now? Snide remarks? Death eater curse?"

"Well, disregarding the fact that you drinking is both incredibly dangerous due to the sugar content affecting the effectiveness of the wolfsbane and incredibly disrespectful as I, of all people, Lupin, have been the only one to take you under my roof, even in these…extreme circumstances."

The Vodka had blunted Lupin's mind as he snapped back, "Yeah, I'm only here because you can't get rid of me without risking your skin! I almost wonder what curse you've put on me, Snape, but I don't fancy discovering the kind of evil in your mind."

"Oh for…" Severus felt like slapping the werewolf hard around the face, but instead grabbed the bottle of Vodka and hissed, "Lupin; Harry's in the house! What if he was to see you like this? Would you be proud, Lupin? Would James be fawning over you, telling you it wasn't your fault if you suddenly went berserk and gutted his…Harry?"

"You…Bastard…" Lupin growled.

"I know, Lupin, you never would; so sweet and nice, so kind and loving, but try telling that to the evil in your skull! Whether you would or not is irrelevant! If that…thing…in you decides it wants to, you have no control, Lupin, no conscious, no hurt, no pain so great that would prevent you from hurting him. I might know great evil, but unlike you, I have a modum of self control."

"Take that back!" Lupin said, jumping up to challenge Snape, but instead falling over, only just catching hold of the kitchen table.

Severus laughed a horrible, snide laugh. "I was only gone fifteen minutes, and you're already this drunk? Or were you drinking during the day, as well?"

"Shut up, you bastard!" Lupin said weakly.

"Well, it seems that there is only one thing to do…" Snape held the bottle in his hands, weighing it up for a moment. He swung it gently, and Lupin was ready to leap in when Snape did something very unexpected. He violently swung the bottle to his lips and downed the bottle in one go, adam's apple bobbling up and down as he drank the horrible fluid.

"Snape, what the hell do you think you're…"

Severus gasped, screwing up his face as if he'd just drunk a draught of living death. "By Merlin, that was awful Lupin…how on earth do you drink it…"

"No, no, Snape, you need to stay sober!"

"Oh, no, I don't." Snape jeered, alcohol flooding into his system "I mean, if _you_ can look after Harry drunk, then certainly its fine for _me_ to drink after he's gone to bed!"

"Snape, what do you think you're…"

"Oh, nothing Lupin. I've watched everything I cared about being taken from me, and now I have something back, it's too late to stop destroying myself! I mean, that's how you view things, right? Because they're not perfect?" Snape staggered back into a chair, draping himself across it and remembered why he didn't drink. Part of the reason was that he was a complete lightweight. He giggled, a sound that was completely foreign to his very nature.

Lupin shivered. "I need a drink…"

**********

So, it had finally happened.

Hyacinth Smyth wasn't ever sure this day would ever come, and indeed, right now she wasn't sure that she'd wanted it. Vernon Dursley, in police custody with his life, their son in foster care; for now. She'd been invited in for questioning again, and questioned, her evidence poured over again and again, especially by the horrible toad-like woman who'd annoyed everyone with her superior attitude and fake pink smiles.

And she'd seen them, the Dursley's, as they'd been lead between rooms. Vernon Dursley hadn't seen her; he'd looked terrified, a shadow across his face, but trying to keep himself together. Petunia, on the other hand, had very much seen her.

Hyacinth had been drinking a coffee brought to her by the sweet policeman (Sergent Jones, she thought his name was) as she'd been led past, frogmarched by two big men. Hyacinth watched, speechless, knowing what this woman had done to that boy, seen the evidence every day, but even so, in her humiliated, shadow-struck face Hyacinth saw a sadness and terror that she couldn't help but….pity? Hyacinth hadn't been sure.

As Petunia was dragged past, their eyes met, and in that second, her pathetic, tired face has suddenly changed, as Petunia made a bolt for the teacher, snarling like a hunting Dog, fighting towards her shouting, "YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Hyacinth has stood their frozen, the Men tightened their grip, but hadn't realised how strong Petunia was under her frail blonde persona. She ripped herself out of restrains of the policemen and launching herself towards Hyacinth, shouting, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU BITCH! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING! YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING! ALWAYS! ALL OUR LIVES!"

Pentunia has grabbed her. Bad move. Hyacinth had instantly blocked her attack and with a low roundhouse kick sent Petunia to the floor. Petunia looked shocked for a moment, like a child that had been rejected, but practically leapt up, hissing "I'M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS! YOU'VE RUINED MY SON'S LIFE!"

"You did that yourself by abusing Harry." Hyacinth spat.

"YOU'RE A FREAK! YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!" Petunia shouted as the two men grabbed her arms and dragged her away. She started to scream, kicking hard, trying to scratch and bite her way out as she yelled, "NO! SHE'S A FREAK! LET ME GO! SHE'S THE REASON HE'S GONE! OH GOD….DUdikins! What're they doing to my dudi…kins…"

Hyacinth had felt shaken, and even now, several hours later, she felt unsettled by the whole thing. Mrs Dursley, sent half-mad by the event, screaming her respectable heart out, shouting…nonsense. Nonsense that shouldn't have upset her. But Hyacinth found herself, moments later, crying. Those words hurt…they did, and she couldn't tell why. She'd brought herself to hate that women, hate her permissiveness with her son and her horrific abuse to her nephew, but as she screamed and cried, Hyacinth felt a sorrow, as if…as if she understood her. As if she wanted to help her.

No, no, she didn't. Hyacinth paced the streets, her light jacket barely keeping out the night-time cold. She had been returned home after that vile pink blob had finished questioning her like a disobedient child who hadn't told an adult about a broken vase, but after sitting for a full three hours, listening to the Mixtape Janice had made her, she had decided she needed to go pace elsewhere.

She knew the key to this was that man she'd seen. The black haired man, holding the boy just seconds before he disappeared. And again, she recognised him, she knew he was a deatheater…but she didn't know how. But then again, she didn't remember much from that time, a blurr of crucio curses and fear she'd never discussed with anyone, not even Leonard, even though he'd asked her, again and again. She sighed. They were to have dinner tonight. She was thankful for the familiar face, really, after all this. She'd been putting it off for the last week, which made him far more upset than she thought he had any right to be, but tonight she'd be glad of him.

She kicked a stone casually, but heard a rustle of cloak she didn't recognise. She instantly stopped, falling into a defensive position, hands up around her face, eyes darting around.

There was nothing, for a moment, but the sound of her own heart racing. Then…a shadow. She shouted, jumping forward and throwing a left hook, hitting flesh. Then, without thinking, she kicked out.

She then found herself on the floor, her legs wobbling like jelly as a man stood above her. "You do throw a decent punch, Miss Smyth, " Moody grudgingly admitted, "Now, if only you would tell me the truth, maybe we could get somewhere."

She stared at him for a moment with absolute hatred, vainly trying to stand up, looking close to tears as she struggled.

"Don't bother trying to get up." He ordered, "We need to have a little chat, you see. I think I might have worked out what's going on, save for a few little details. And you're going to help me with them."

"W…why did you have to curse me?" She cried, "I didn't mean to hurt you…if you hadn't been…fucking…_sneaking_ around…"

"Oh, the curse will wear off in a few minutes, don't be a baby." He scoffed.

"Baby? You attacked me in the dark!" she said, her anger fighting through her fustration, "Why on earth are you here? I've told you everything, I've told your friend the pink frog everything a million times, I've told the muggles everything many more…and just because you don't believe me…"

"Oh, you're wrong, Hyacinth, I do believe you. You saw a man, and you know who he is. The only problem is that I can see into your mind, and I can see that you have a wall like the great wall of china hiding something in there." He flicked his wand, "Stand up and walk with me."

She moved her legs tentatively, noticing that they were solid again. He helped her up, and they walked towards a playpark at the end of the road. "So…what spell are you using to read my mind?"

"Oh, it's less a spell than a skill. Takes years to learn."

"Whatever it is, please get out of it now!"

Moody was impressed, he could actually feel her pushing at his mind in hers. He laughed and said, "I can see all the memories since that…incident…six years ago, but beyond that….there's a wall and a few bits and pieces…which don't make sense."

"I…P…please…I don't want…" She staggered slightly, opening the gate to the park and walking away from Moody.

Moody caught up easily, and turned her around by her shoulders. "Miss Smyth, Harry Potter is missing and you have the key to his location in your mind. I need you to allow me to get further into your mind."

"No…n…Moody, I already know what happened! I was crucio-cursed, and I was…I was…" She fell backwards, as if all her energy had been sucked out of her, managing to grab hold of swing and sitting down with a loud clank.

"Just say it." Moody said, "stepping around it just makes it worse."

"I…can't…" she held her head in her cold hands, "Moody, I've tried, I honestly have, but…I…can't…"

"You've hidden parts of yourself since that night, but what I don't understand is why you've hidden so _much_." Moody tutted, "What's your mother's name?"

"M..M…mother's name?" she asked, surprised as the strangeness of the question.

"Do you know?" He asked.

"yes…I just…"

"How did she die? How did Mr and Mrs Smyth die?" Moody pressed.

"In a…in a…deatheater attack…"

"No, they didn't. You don't remember how they died, do you? I bet you don't even remember their address!"

"Spinners end!" She said, "It was…no, it wasn't…"

"You can't remember anything before you were found! No memories, just things you'd been told, right? You remember being_ told_ your brother was Leonard Smyth, and you grabbed hold of that like a drowning man grabs hold of flotsam in the storm!"

"He's my brother! He is! I'm Hyacinth Smyth…I was brought up in Surrey, I went to school…Oh, I can't remember, it was the local grammar…"

"Don't lie! You have to let me in! You have to stop trying to keep this lie afloat! The truth won't set you free, but it'll find Harry Potter!"

"Oh God…Harry…Harry…I…I remember him…but…"

"…that memory doesn't make sense, does it? When did you ever meet Lily and James Potter?"

"They lived in a village near Cambridge, I could have seen them in…"

"No! You couldn't have! There must be another reason…Hyacinth…I'm going to go further into your mind and you must let me."

"No, no…I wake up…remembering…"

"Do you want to see Harry Potter alive again?" Moody said seriously, staring into her dull grey eyes with his one good eye. She nodded solemnly. "Take a deep breath. Calm down. I'm going to go into your mind, see if I can see that man's face."

Before she could protest, he grabbed her head in his hands and let himself in. Images flashes past his face; Umbridge sneering at her, a party five years ago when she'd passed out drunk and crying, Harry Potter coming into class with a large red burn on his forearm, each memory flashing past him like a punch in the stomach. But the further he pushed, the more…irrelevant images he got, of dull conversations, her ex-boyfriend, marking…Moody kept on pushing until he was in her, and felt…felt the crucio curse taking over her body, wracking her body in pain and convulsions, until he….he felt himself leaving her body, being pushed out by a magical force far stronger than his.

"No!" she gasped as he fell back, back in his own body, "no…"

"m…magic…You did magic…you aren't meant to have…" Moody burst straight back in, causing Hyacinth to cry out in pain. Back in her mind, he could feel the wall, he could see it…he pushed against it, a powerful dark shadow which he felt himself lighting up. "Hyacinth…if you want to help Potter, you need to bring that wall down! I know you love him, he's more than a pupil to you, isn't he? You try to hide it, but you think of him as your son! Hyacinth, if you want any chance of helping him, you have to help me!"

"But…but it hurts…" he heard her gasp in pain.

"It does. I'm sorry this ever had to happen to you. " Moody went quiet, grtabbing her by the hand. Then, staring deeply into her eyes with his one good eye he said, "Hyacinth, if I could turn back time and stop this ever happening, I would. I wouldn't every try destroying this…this coping method, but there is a boy's life on the line."

"Harry…" She whispered out loud.

"Yes, Harry…" Moody replied, squeezing her hand

He felt her grab his hand, almost crushing it, as if she were in pain, then, throwing her head back she let go, almost fainting. Suddenly the wall broke down, and Moody was hit by a million memories, a million memories which he didn't understand or comprehend, rushing past him like fish fleeing from a net, but then, then he saw the one he needed, and saw her, in the classroom, talking to her brother when…

"_I've got to stop him…" She said, staring out the window, frozen in horror._

"'_Cinth, what is it?" Moody heard a voice hiss down the phone._

"_I think there's a death eater there…" She weezed down the phone, "Oh God, there are all the muggle children, and there's a death eater there…" Miss Smyth slammed the door open and sprinted down the corridor covered in construction paper and poster-paint pictures. Moody followed closely as she yelled down the phone "Get someone here now! I'm going to do what I can…"_

"'_Cinth, stay on the…"Miss Smyth turned off the phone and ran out of the double doors to the playground. The man, in the robes, talking to Harry…holding him in his arms. _

And Moody looked right into his face, and saw him. And he saw the expression on the man's face when he saw Hyacinth, and knew that this man also knew what Moody now knew, even if he had refused to allow himself to believe it at the time.

Moody came out of Hyacinth's mind. He breathed heavily, choking for breath staring at her as if he'd seen a ghost.

She pulled herself up onto the iron swing, her grip so tight that her fingertips were white. He could see the wall going back up, thankfully, but it was far weaker than it was. He'd have to act fast. He stood up and grabbed her by the shoulders and said, "Go home. Right now. Lock the doors and don't speak to Anyone, no one! I need to go talk to someone right now about what I've just seen…but you need to go inside and stay safe, all right? Don't leave; I'm coming back for you as soon as I can."

Hyacinth nodded lazily, hiding her eyes from his. "This will be over tonight!" he said, forcing her head up with his hand, "I'll end this all tonight!" He left her go gently, turned and swished away, his coat billowing in the breeze, flowing behind the very force of his steps.

He strode out of the park, down the street, knowing where he had to go. He had to go see Dumbledore, he _knew_ about this, he _knew_ everything about this and even though the very last details weren't in his mind, he certainly had a clue what was going on, and Moody _didn't like it_ one _bit._ This was the kind of half-baked, amateur affair that Dumbledore would allow him to get what he wanted, even if others had to get hurt in the process! Moody had seen it before, with the young aurors who'd died during the war; Dumbledore would simply _suggest_ something and then…

*BANG*

Moody felt a dull blow to the back of the head. He stayed upright just long enough to say, "Bugger… Vigilance!" before staggering and falling down to the ground.

***********

"So what happened?" Lupin slurred, "why're you suddenly on the run?"

"Run?" asked Severus, pouring himself his sixth glass of Vodka, from a stash Lupin had bought that afternoon and hidden under the sink.

"Yeah…why Romania? Why leave England?" Asked Lupin.

"Harry wants you to come." Severus said, avoiding the subject.

" Why…why can't you stay here?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's only a matter of time until someone works out how I managed to take him, works out who Harry is and then…I can rot in hell for all I care, but Harry isn't going to rot with me."

"How did you do it, by the way?" Asked Lupin, shivering a little from the alcohol.

"Do what?"

"Disappear?" said Lupin, "Get Harry away?"

"Oh that…it's simple enough…" Severus squinted and moved subtly leftwards as he snipped on the clear fluid, "There's a potion that suppresses magical ability…I was working on it during the war. Voldermort wanted it to disarm aurors whilst Dumbledore wanted it to disarm deatheaters. However, neither of them wanted it, in the end, because all it did was suppress magic, not get rid of it completely. You'd become as weak as a muggleborn child, but the magic could be activated if…under stress. So, a pretty useless weapon, but very useful for eradicating a magical signature. Lucius Malfoy buys it off me to hide his toys." Lupin, even though he was drunk, did not want to know the nature of these toys. Severus continued, "So, gave some to drink to Harry and then…made sure I didn't apparate. I found another spell which works just as well, but without any tracking from the ministry."

"What's this stuff you make for Malfoy called, eh?" Asked Lupin.

"Magutecus, " Severus said, "it's a rather simple potion, you can whip it up in an hour, given the right ingredients; It's mainly a matter of the ripeness of the Echinoderms nervous system, being that they are made up both of a magic number yet also create an anti-magic number, though occasionally spider's legs can be used, if you find a damaged one, which is harder than you'd think…"

"You…lost me." Said Lupin, tugging at his shirt, "I don't get all that theoretical potion's making."

"You wouldn't. You spent half your time hexing me at school, rather than doing something that could actually be of use to you."

"You're still helping me, though."

"Story of my life; Someone treats me like shit, I help them and then they call me a bastard for that. Go grab that box from your room. The one where you found your suit. I fancy a bit of target practise." Severus downed his Vodka and pulled a face. Lupin suspected that it was only half the alcohol.

"Seriously, Snape, you've got a box full of decent muggle clothes, but you'd still rather hang around in your threadbare robes. I don't get that."

"Did I ask you to question my Judgement, or go get the box Lupin?" Snape snarled, and would have probably said something we would have regretted if they hadn't heard a loud thumbing sound at the window. "What was that?" He hissed, standing up and holding out his wand.

Lupin suddenly felt himself become far more sober. He reached for his wand and gripped it between his fingers. "It came from the window."

Snape pushed himself away from the chair and moved deliberately, holding his wand in a duelling position. He stood for a moment at the window, and then, slowly, his hands crept up the curtain. His wand hand stiffened. Lupin ducked, preparing to attack.

Then, Severus ripped the dirty green curtains away!

At the window was a large regal looking eagle owl, tapping at the window, hooting irritatedly. Severus breathed out, and opened the window which the owl flew in quickly, and perched on top of the muggle cooker.

Lupin breathed, and stood up. Severus looked less than happy, although he was certainly relieved. "Hmm, what do you have here…" he asked as he stroked the owl's feathers. It bristled and dropped the roll of parchment in its beak into Snape's open hand. Lupin watched a little in wonderment as Snape absentmindedly felt around in his pocket, pulled out a frog's leg, gave it to the bird who swallowed it eagerly and read the letter.

"Oh, hurrah." Said Snape bitterly, "Lucius wants to see me again."

"Malfoy?" Asked Lupin.

"Yes, it says here that he is in need of some potions, and will arrive at…hmm, Lupin, would their be any chance of you being able to take Harry out of the house for a couple of hours tomorrow?"

Lupin's jaw dropped. "Lucius? As In Lucius Malfoy?"

"Seems like the alcohol hasn't entirely destroyed your brain cells yet, Lupin. Yes, that is who I mean."

"Notorious death-eater who would gladly do anything for You-Know-Who and you're taking him to the house?" Said Lupin, surprised, "Even with Harry…the boy who lived? Your son? A man who would happily kill your son?"

"…and an Old friend…it's a fine line one walks, isn't it?" said Snape thoughtfully. "I can't say no, Lupin. It'd arouse his suspicion and he'd come anyway. This way…we can limit whatever damage he does. We just need to keep Harry safe until we can leave England. I will have to be brewing constantly to get the money together, especially after what you did, and Lucius tends to pay over the odds in exchange for a little sense of power over myself. I will allow it for now."

Severus opened a draw, rummaged around for some paper and a pen. Finding then, he wrote a quick message which he read out for the werewolf's benefit. _"Lucius – I am very busy, but I would be happy to accommodate you over lunch tomorrow. I will fulfil your order immediately. Yours – Severus Snape."_

Then Severus rolled up the note, tied it with a length of green garden string and gave it back to the bird, who after another couple of strokes, flew straight out of the window. "Right, Lupin, I'm about to drink a hang-over potion and get on with work. I'd suggest you have some, or go to bed."

"I feel…far too sober." Said Lupin.

Severus opened a cupboard, and, hidden behind a selection of rather aged looking muggle tinned food, hid a few practically identical potion bottles. He picked one out without looking at it, opened it and uncorked it. He sniffed the bottle tentatively, and grabbing Lupin's vodka glass threw the vodka down the sink and proceeded to pour half the potion bottle in, the pearly violet liquid slightly steaming in the light. "All yours, Lupin."

Lupin drank it, firstly put off by the bitter taste, then coughing at the stinging sensation in hiss throat. Gasping and coughing he wheezed, "…What the hell is this…"

"Oh, a hangover prevention potion. With a few…adjustments of my own." Said Snape, with a smile. Lupin gulped. That smile didn't not mean Good Things.

"I'm off to bed." Lupin said, feeling awfully queer. "See you in the morning."

"I expect you to be up at seven; we will have a little talk tomorrow."

**********

That didn't sound good, what he'd said. Hyacinth Smyth snuggled further down into the blanket, still shivering. Somehow Moody had touched something in her kind that one-one else had ever touched before and that feeling was…horrible, disquietening, terrifying, as bad as…but it was as if something that had previously been frozen was starting to defrost, thoughts and possibilities drip, drip, dripping in her mind.

What has Moody seen that made him turn as white as a sheet? Why did she suddenly feel as if she wanted to peel her skin back, as if she were wrapped up in a suffocating skin she couldn't remove? She pulled at the skin at the back of her hand and quivered, head both spinning and perfectly still at the same time.

She saw a flash of green light in the fireplace, and her brother, Leonard Smyth, walked out. He was an average sized man, of average height, shaved with a buzzcut to hide his imminent baldness and with a wispy, indecisive beard. He re-arranged his robes and said "Good evening, sister."

"Hello Leonard…" she said, still staring into the distance.

"'Cinth, you…you look awful. What's happened?"

"M…Moody came to visit again…" She said.

Leonard rushed towards her, and held her close. "What did he do…"

"I…I don't know…but…old…memories…"

Leonard suddenly hardened in his manor. "I'll make some tea." He said, "you wait there, stay under the blanket." He walked to the Kitchen and she heard him turn the already heated-up kettle on; she's tried to make herself tea only five minutes ago, but failed to get up in time.

"Hmm, already set up for me." He joked.

Hyacinth laughed, nervously. "I'm so glad you're here, Leonard. Moody said some…scary things."

"Well, I think we won't be hearing from him soon…he's apparently been pissing Umbridge off, which isn't a good thing to do; every person I know who's crossed her generally doesn't last long."

"Umbridge?" She asked, then suddenly remembered, "What, you mean that pink toad with the puppy obsession?" Leonard replied with a positive grunt. Still wrapped in the blanket, Hyacinth got off the sofa and tiptoed towards the Kitchen, saying, "You remember when you found me, right? I remembered some things…"

As she walked into the kitchen, she saw him hunched over her cup, with a small blue bottle in his hands. "What're you doing?" She asked.

Leonard looked at her, scared. "This isn't what it looks like, Hyacinth…"

Hyacinth walked up to him, and tried to grab the bottle out of his hands. "What's this, what were you putting in my tea…"

"Nothing, just a calming potion, you've had your nerves jangled with Moody trying to…"

"Trying to what? I just told you that he questioned me, I never told you anything further…"She made another grab at the bottle, "Leonard…give me that!"

"No!"

"Accio bottle!" She said, and then slapped her hand over her mouth. The bottle tugged itself out of Leonard's grip, and flew straight into her other hand. "W…wait, I'm a squid, squids can't…" She looked at the label. "Magutecus?" She dredged up the lain she swore she'd learnt at school. "wait…a magic suppressant? You've been…but…Leonard!"

"Hyacinth, please listen to me…"

"No…you've been…drugging me with this stuff, this …magic suppressant…for god knows how long and I can't remember anything, Leonard. How did our parents die? Where did we live? What school did I go to?"

"'Cinth, please, don't get…"

"…I AM ALREADY HYSTERICAL!" She shouted, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards her, "I'm confused, I'm scared and you're _not_ helping! Tell me, why're you doing this!"

"Hyacinth, I promise I had no idea what this potion was, all I know is that the Doctor at St Mungo's told me to give it to you still, to help your memory, I didn't know what it was…"

"Leonard…You're not a fool! You knew what it was! Tell me the truth!"

They were both silent for a moment. "No, " he said, ripping her hand off himself, "No, I'm going home…"

Leonard tried to walk away, but felt himself unable to move. Hyacinth was starting at him, a strange green light in her eyes, but as she realised what she was doing she gasped and holding her head in her hands said, "I…I don't know what just…Leonard…Please…tell me the truth!"

Leonard, shaking the weak spell off himself, turned to her and said, "I never wanted to tell you. You never had to know, Hyacinth…Oh, by Merwyn the Malicious, Hyacinth…you could have been so happy."

"No I couldn't, Leonard. Not without knowing what happened that night. Am I a squib? Was I always a squib? Did I get magical powers through…whatever happened?"

"Hyacinth, I don't know. All I know is that you were found. And you remembered nothing when we found you, nothing. You didn't even remember me, all you did for five days straight was cry bitter tears over something or someone you could never remember. But…as time went on…you started to recognise me, remember your old life…and then…your magic came back…I'm sorry Hyacinth, I'm sorry I hid this from you for so long. I didn't mean to. I didn't…"

"…have any other choice." She finished for him. "I can understand that you didn't. But…I need to know what's going on. Who gave you this potion?"

"I get a delivery each month, for free, from a benefactor of St Mungo's. Someone who donates to the victims of the Death eaters. I don't know who they are, but all I know is that the brewer is very good."

Hyacinth looked at the bottle in her hand. The handwritten label, written in a cramped, spidery hand, betrayed no further information, no further signs, except…"Hmm…the bottles are made in Manchester. Manchester…Spinners End…Those…seem to be related…but….how?"

"Hyacinth, don't…we can learn you deal with your magic, but this seems like a wild goose chase!"

"…Maybe it is, Leonard, " She said, feeling properly alive for the first time in years, "But I have to find out! I love you, brother, more than life itself, but I need to find out what this place is and why I keep thinking about it…I can see Janice whilst I'm up there too!"

Leonard looked at his sister and with a sad smile said, "Hyacinth…I can't stop you from going, but can I implore you to stay here, with me, just until we can sort some of this out?"

"You already know the answer, Leonard." She smiled sadly.

"Before the…event, Hyacinth, you would have always said 'yes, I'll stay'…but since then, you've changed. And in some ways the changes seemed for the better. But now? I'm not so sure." He stepped towards her, and held her close.

As she hug him back, hard, she said "I know you're lying about the truth, but…I know you're protecting me."

"I should have looked after you better; this would never have happened, otherwise."

"You've always done a good job, Leonard. You've always been there for me, but now…I need to be there for myself." She let him go, squeezing his hand. "I'm catching the first train to Manchester in the morning."

"Look after yourself, Hyacinth." Implored Leonard.

"I will." She smiled.

Leonard walked towards the fire and throwing the powder into the grate, disappeared in a burst of green flame. Hyacinth gripped the bottle in her hand and said out loud, "Why do I have the feeling that a plan is coming together, somewhere?"

***********

"Ah, Ingmarr, Aonghus, just the men I wanted to see." Said Umbridge as they walked into the door of Moody's office.

"Where's Moody?" Asked Ingamrr immediately.

"Well, you see, last night Moody went out on his own and he was unfortunate enough to get involved in an…accident. So, from now on, you'll be working for me." She grinned wildly. "I've sent him a fruit basket. " She was about to leave when she said in a sickly sweet, sing-song voice, "Oh yes, and your first new duty is to tidy up the mess made of the record room. Get to it boys!"

Once she'd left Aonghus and Ingmarr looked at each other briefly. "She did something to him, didn't she." Said Ingmarr.

"Fuck the record room; let's get to St Mungo's." said Aonghus.

***********

Thank you for reading! I'm not sure what's going on with the next chapter, but I know for a fact that this is just over half way through. I'm probably going to try and speed towards the finale. Let me know if it moves too fast!

Hmm, go on, Guess my twist. I can't make it any more obvious now. Well, okay, I can! But even so...


	9. The Past is a Ghost

Chapter 9 – The past is a Ghost

HI hi! Well, I'd apologise for the lateness of this update, but I think you'll find this one sufficient. It feels a bit like a filler chapter, except everything which happens is necessary for either setting up a sequel (which will happen if I have the energy to write more once the story is over, or if people are interested in what may happen next) or for backstory, or for what happens next. I was hoping to get a bit further in the story than I have, but nevermind. I hope this is still interesting.

Oh yes, there is some mild, only vaguely implied slash which I realised how it could be interpreted after I wrote it. I'm leaving it as it is, because a/you can take it either way and b/ as a vaguely LGBTQ friendly person, I don't see why possibly, maybe, having had sexual feelings for a person in the past really affects the way you feel your sexuality is now, or generally.

Oh yes, whilst I stuck in some Echobelly in this chapter, be glad I cut out the Daisy Chainsaw exchange between Hyacinth and Janice. I've been really influenced by Phonogram, which is all about Britpop (and other things, but Britpop mainly) so really been trying my hardest not to go into random music geek moments. I have to keep reminding myself that this is meant to be closer to House rather than High Fidelity.

I'm also so glad I went with adding Lucius to the story. I think he adds both a real threat within the story and another dimension to Severus. I'm quiet pleased with how it turned out. Also tried a different kind of flash-back. Please let me know if it's too confusing.

Anyway, at the end will be a Bonus list called "Why Snape is essentially a programmer" for laughs. As a friend of programmers, ansd having dated one for two years, I feel I can at least comment on certain externals about them, and decided Snape is one.

**Chapter 9 – The past is a Ghost**

XXXXXX

"_The past is a ghost_,_ the future a dream, and all we ever have is now."_

_Bill Cosby_

XXXXXXX

Severus Snape, tried to keep his eyes open as he watched his potions brew, but fell asleep. The hangover potion he'd drunk was rather unpleasant, and had the side effect of making on feel rather sluggish and unmotivated, at least until it had done its job. He'd barely managed to finish preparing the ingredients for the six potions Lucius had wanted, not wanting to use up what was left in his stores, and in the moment he took to sit down after adding the last pustule of bubotuber he had fallen straight asleep.

In the mist of lightly steaming toxins and the horrible hangover potion, he began to dream.

He was back in Little Whitting, back in that accursed house which The Dark Lord had used as a base, the walls swirling around him, as if there weren't sure if they were solid or not, and he could hear someone calling out his name, a female voice, a female voice he didn't recognise but knew so well. "Severus…" it cried, "Severus…"

He ran along the corridor, which whilst in real life was barely ten foot long, now stretched out for miles, mist and panic obscuring his view, trying to make it to the room.

"Severus…Severus…where are you…" said the voice.

"I'm coming!" He shouted, and finally opened the door.

His Mother lie on the floor, eye cold and dead, body limp, arms reaching out to where he was. He ran over, instantly, and lifted up her frozen lifeless body as he'd done so many years ago, cradling her in his arms, his Dark Mark burning agonisingly. "Mother…" he said, "Mother…no, no, this isn't real…"

"You promised me" he heard her voice say, "You promised me, Tobias…you'd never…leave me…"

"Mother…don't speak." He pleaded, "Please don't speak…"

"Severus, he'll give you Power, he'll destroy all those filthy, lying muggles!" He heard the voice say, though his Mother's body was limp and didn't move a muscle. He didn't move, but suddenly the body started to melt away, like a sand-castle being gently destroyed by the tide, trickiling away in his hands. "We'll never have to hurt again, Severus…The dark Lord…Will protect us…"

"MOTHER!" He found himself shouting, "No!" he vainly tried to keep her together, scooping her together, but she ran through his hands like grains of sand, being blown away by the horrible laughter he recognised, the laughter he knew and made his blood run cold.

"YOU DID THIS!" He shouted, pulling out his wand, "You did this!"

"Severus!" Cried another woman's voice, "Severus…"

Oh God. He knew her voice, though it somehow sounded different in his dreamworld. "No!" He whispered, "no, not her…" The horrible Laughter of the dark Lord Echoed around him. "You promised to protect her!" He shouted, "You promised to protect her and you _killed her!"_

"Severus…you'll be the death of me…" Said Lily's voice. He finally looked up; Lily hung above him, dressed in one of her favourite summer dresses, a loose white dress with a flowing skirt that used to swish around as she moved. She looked as if she were drowning, dress billowing as she tried to keep herself from sinking further.

"Lily!" He grabbed her by her fingertips, but found his hand slipping away.

"Severus…" She stared into his eyes and he felt his heart ache like it hadn't in a while. She stared at him with such desperation, such disappointment, he couldn't stand it.

"I made him promise…" Severus said, "I made The Dark Lord promise to protect you, never let you come to harm, Lily…but he lied, he broke his promise!" He grabbed at her hand again, and he felt her squeeze his hand back.

"Severus…" she said again, before there was a flash of green light and suddenly she let go, floating upwards, upside-down, like a dead fish.

He heard the Dark Lord's laughter again, watching her float away and found himself screaming like a crazy man, "no! You promised! No! She Can't be dead! You promised!"

"You'll be the death of her, " The Dark Lord's voice, "I promise never to hurt her, because, Severus, one day, you will…"

"No, no, shut up!" He shouted, placing his hands over his ears, "You killed her! You've always killed her! You almost killed her son!" Our son!"

"I'm coming for him, Severus…" He-Who-Must-not-Be-Named said, "I will get him if it's the last thing I do…"

He heard the sound of potions bubbling over, and woke up. He quickly lowered the heat using his wand and ran upstairs, still in a half-dreaming state. _Harry, _he thought, _is Harry…_

As he approached Harry's room, he heard a low sobbing sound. Severus quickly cast a silencing spell over himself and walked over to Harry's bedroom door, listening to his son crying in his room. He peered in through the door and saw the boy sitting up in his red pyjama's with the planets on, crying into his toy dragon.

Severus wasn't exactly sure what to do. He hadn't had to deal with anyone else's emotions properly for a while, and whilst he couldn't be certain why Harry was crying, Severus was astute enough to realise that Harry had enough reason to be crying. He had never really properly dealt with the fact that Harry, in some ways, had already suffered more in his life than Severus had. At least Severus had known his mother, at least his father, Tobias, hadn't been bright enough for the mind games and lies Vernon and Petunia had used on Harry. Severus suddenly felt rather guilty that he'd been sweeping this all away, but honestly didn't know how to even approach it.

He decided a good place to start would be opening the door. "Harry?" he asked.

Harry scrambled back under the covers, drying his eyes surreptitiously on them and pretending he was asleep, breathing raggedly.

"Harry, what's the matter?"

Harry hid further within the sheets, trying to hide the fact he'd been crying.

Severus sat down on the bed, and waited for a moment. Once he felt suitably uncomfortable he said, "Harry, I know you're not asleep."

"Yes I am." Harry replied.

"You just spoke."

"I talk in my sleep."

"Not that coherently, believe me."

"What does coherent mean?" Asked Harry, his voice muffled by the blankets.

"It means…being able to speak in a way that makes sense." Severus explained, "Now, what were you crying about?"

"I wasn't crying." Said Harry, "I promise I wasn't crying…"

"Harry, I heard you."

"No you didn't…boy's don't cry…good boys don't cry…"

"Really?" said Severus as if this were a revelation rather than something he himself had drummed into him from a young age, "because I cry…sometimes."

Harry lowered his bedcovers and peaked out in curiosity. "Really…like when?"

"Like when I found your Mother was dead. I cried then." Severus realised the topic might have been a bit grisly, but it was true.

"What was she like…my mum." Asked Harry.

"She was…she was a very intelligent women, Harry." He said, staring at the wall, "She was beautiful was well. She was also very brave, she would have faced anything to save you. And she did, Harry, she loved you very much." He turned to find Harry, red eyed from crying staring at him.

"Why did she have to die?" He asked.

"…Because of the bad Wizards who wanted to kill her." Severus answered, "It wasn't your fault, Harry, if she were alive today, she'd want to be here with you."

Harry looked downcast, trying to avoid crying again. "I miss her."

"I miss her too." Said Severus, and gently held the boy to him, rocking slightly. Harry held on again, with the desperation of someone who has missed out on friendly affection. Severus held him closer, feeling his little hands grabbing at his robes, slowly getting wetter as the boy cried. His boy. His poor, miserable boy.

"I s…ss…ssaw her, " Harry sobbed, "I d…dreamt I saw her…and she didn't know me…."

"Hush…" Severus cooed, "It wasn't real. She loves you, even now, she'd know you anywhere…"

"but…" Harry tried to speak, but as Severus held him close, he didn't try. He simply held on a little harder and allowed himself the luxury of crying without punishment. He was shocked that he hadn't been reproached for doing so and reckless continued because he needed to.

XXXXXXXX

Hyacinth's Walkman buzzed slightly as she listened to one of the cassette's she'd pack in her bag; another one of Janice's recommendations she had picked up; Echobelly. Hyacinth normally would have been considering how much she'd agreed with Janice's opinion, but instead she listened to the lyrics, marveling at how appropriate they were, "_You are one life older than before, But you can't stop the chill, Now you're falling in slow motion, Though the air is still.__1__"_

She watched the world move past at a rate of knots, the yellowish hay fields mixing into the greys of the roads and greens of the trees. She had a map of the Manchester area open in front of her, with one villiage just outside Manchester circled, with three streets to investigate. There was a Spinner's end, but there was also a Spools end and a Smith's end. She thought she ought to check those out as well, as she wasn't sure what she'd find at Spinner's end.

Her brain itched. She felt as if her mind was being kept together with wet paper, as if everything was ready to come back, as if she was ready to remember everything, but somehow she was managing not to. She knew that Manchester was important, that somehow she'd lived there, though she couldn't remember anything except Spinner's end and a Playpark which she couldn't locate, but knew existed.

The only other things she could think of was a sense of a loss and something to do with flowers.

_If you close your eyes than I can take you all the way,  
Let me close your eyes and I will take it all the way._

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" Hyacinth turned her music player off, and looked up. It was an old man with a long white beard and twinkly blue eyes looking kindly at her.

"S…sure" she replied, moving her bag off the seat.

The old man sat down, and casually scanned the A to Z she'd left open on the table. "Oh, I see you're heading to Manchester." He said.

"Oh yes."

"It's a long journey to take on a weekday by one's self. Business or pleasure?"

"Neither….really." She replied, "I just…needed to go there."

"Sherbet Lemon, dear?" He asked, offering her a sweet from a paper bag.

Whilst Hyacinth knew better to take sweets from strangers, especially strangers she had a feeling she knew, she took one of the yellow sweets from the bag and popped it into her mouth. The Old man grinned at her, his blue eyes shining at her.

"What are you looking for?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm not sure…" She said, "In suppose some…closure…on some things that happened a while back."

"hmm, the problem with journeys where we're looking for things which we aren't even sure exist is that they often dredge up things we never wanted to remember in the first place. " He said Sadly, "Are you sure you want to change what you have right now?"

"Hmm…yes." She said, "I've known something was wrong with my life for the last four, five years, I can feel it in every second of every day, and I though everyone felt like this, but apparently not."

"Oh, I think everyone feels like that a little bit" said the Old man, "It's called being human."

" Perhaps not to the degree I have." She said, "It's like my life has been taken from me and then replaced with cardboard cut-outs."

"What if by taking away the last few years someone was just trying to protect you?" Asked the Old Man.

"Then I'd ask that they'd respect me enough not to protect me any longer." She replied, curtly." I know that this place will give me some answers to this feeling, even if they're answers I don't like."

"I think I understand." Said the Old Man understandingly, "I just hope the other people in this mystery life welcome you back as you wish to welcome them, otherwise it'll be worse for you."

"Hey! Who are you anywa…" She demanded and turned towards him to find that he was gone. She sucked the sweet in her mouth and felt a chill go down her neck.

Everything was feeling horribly familiar right now, but like a word on the tip of the tongue, she somehow couldn't remember it, how it was formed or what it started or ended with, simply what it meant. She tried to remember the old man's face from a few seconds earlier and somehow when she didn't, imagined it differently from what it really was.

She pondered this as the rhythmic juddering of the train made her fall asleep.

XXXXXXXXX

Lupin staggered into the kitchen, realising that it was easily eleven in the morning and he was meant to have been up many hours before. He found Harry sitting at the table, cutting up herbs under Snape's instruction, a selection of deep blue bottles on the table with labels scrawled on them in a scratchy, uneven hand and a single, last cauldron by Harry's swinging feet, bubbling slightly and smelling slightly of bacon.

"Right, ready to add the last ingredient?" Snape asked, grinning widely in a way that Lupin still found perturbing.

Harry nodded, his long black hair shaking in the process, his once rose-bud lips looked much thinner but by their smile, Lupin could see that he was much happier. Lupin couldn't help but be shocked at the change in the boy, but even so, he couldn't hold it against him; he still loved Harry, regardless of who was his father.

Snape, on the other hand…Lupin doubted even a mother could love the bad tempered git.

As Harry threw the herbs into the pot, Snape looked up and grinned an ever-so-slightly twisted grin. "Good Morning Lupin, I see from your face that you tried drinking from the stash of alcohol you hid under the bed."

Lupin would have questioned how Snape possibly knew this, but after a few attemps gave up and simply demanded "What the hell did you put in that potion last night!"

"Uncle Remus, have you ever read Tintin?" Asked Harry.

"…errrr…I think so." Said Lupin, thrown by the question.

"Captain Haddock drinks a potion which makes whiskey taste icky2." Said Harry.

Lupin looked at Snape. Snape gave him a smug, satisfied looked back.

"You didn't…"

The look of malevolent amusement said it all. Lupin would have screamed and shouted at Snape, but with Harry there…instead he sat down and stared at Snape, wondering exactly why James had bothered saving the man's life all those years ago. If James had known…Lupin realised that James would probably have done the same. The realisation hit him like water over hot coals.

"I guess I'll have to find another vice." Lupin sighed.

"I'd suggest finding a constructive hobby first." Snape interjected, "You said you wanted to paint this house; take Harry out for a bit…"

"…Not Harry!" Harry pouted.

"…wha?" Grunted Severus.

"I'm not Harry…not anymore. I'm…I'm called Marcus from now on. " said Harry. Snape blinked in disbelief. Lupin raised an eyebrow. Harry continued. "I didn't like being Harry Potter much…I think I'd like to be called Marcus. There was a boy called Marcus in my class with hair just like yours, daddy, and Marcus didn't have a mum either, but…he was happy."

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't feel awake enough to deal with this. Besides, it seemed rather a sign of times that Harry, of all the names to pick, would have chosen the name Lily and he had discussed one long summer's evening, talking about what they'd name their kids.

"_Marcus" Lily has said deliberately, shifting around because of how her bare shoulders were pricked by the yellow dry grass, "Marcus is a good name. Common enough when shortened, but sounds….like a Hero from a Latin poem."_

_Severus had snorted. "No it doesn't, it just sounds…Roman."_

"_Name of a Roman Emperor, as is your name, I must remind you." She said, rolling into her stomach, her pale skin tinted by the gold of the burning setting sun._

"_Yes, but I got the short end of the stick, really. I think I would have made a good Hadrian, or a Constantine." He sighed, "further proof that my father is a cu…"_

"_Be glad that he didn't let you get called Caligula!" Lily replied, giggling and rubbing the palm of this hand with her thumb, as she tended to do when she was feeling hopeful._

"_I think Aurelius would be a better name for a child." He said, wrapping his fingers loosely around her moving thumb, "A bit more…wizardy."_

"_True. But he'd get beaten up by the other kids." Lily said, half joking._

"_Yeah." Said Severus, thoughtfully. "Tell you what, if you name our Sons, I can name the daughters. Girls can get away with stranger names."_

_Lily laughed. "This coming from you, Severus Snape!"_

"_When you think about it, Lily's a pretty weird name. Just means a pretty flower. Men can't get away with flower names."_

_Lily smiled at him, and lowered her head into his hand, her red wavy hair flowing around her face. _

Oh, Merlin's left ball sack, Lucius was due any moment! "Lupin, look at the time! Harry…"

"…Marcus!" Harry said indignantly.

"…Marcus, are you ready? I've got some work to finish here, but Lu…Remus needs some help picking out paint for your room."

"But Daaaaaad…I want to stay here and help!" said Harry, looking up at him with his big green eyes. Severus almost gave in until he remembered Lucius boasting at a death-eater meeting about killing a muggle child. It sent a shiver down his spine as he thought about it, the idea that such a close friend would hold his wand to his son's head, whispering those words…

Severus snapped himself out of it, and reminded himself that he didn't have the luxury of dwelling on distressing thoughts today, simply on getting the extra money Lucius would afford him and Harry…Marcus…for leaving England, hiding away where the magical authorities were patchy and incompetent at best and downright corrupt and improvident at worst. Romania, where large communities of Dragons still lived, unchecked by the Romanian Ministry, was a perfect place to go hide. Many of the old Death eater crowd had fled there straight after The Dark Lord was found to be dead and death-eaters being chased down like foxes on a hunt. Hopefully Severus could pull a few favours from the cowards still in hiding, though certainly doing that could put Harry…Marcus…his son at further risk…

No, no time to consider this.

"No, this is dangerous work. I'm not letting you stay here while I work on a potion which could explode if so much as half a gram of extra beetle is added." Severus half-lied, "Anyway, Lupin is going to need someone to keep an eye on him today. Bit of fresh air could do him good."

"Same could be said for you, you overgrown bat!" Lupin sulked spitefully, trying to understand a future where drinking would no longer be a practical way to blot out his memories.

"Don't say that to my dad!" Harry interjected, then turned to Severus, "I promise to be careful if I stay here today…Marcus is careful…"

"H…Marcus…if you go now, I promise to spend time with you this evening!" Said Severus desperately, the image of Lucius finding the boy and casting crucio after crucio over him, flashing through his mind.

Harry seemed to sense this, and whilst he looked upset, grabbed the hungover Lupin and said, "Let's go…"

Severus quietly watched the boy and the werewolf leave the house just as he felt the house vibrate and the living room flash bright green. He walked in to see Lucious Malfoy standing by the grate, dusting some soot off his high polished boots. "Don't you ever clean that chimney?" Lucius complained, "I swear ever time I come here, it gets dirtier and dirtier."

Severus smiled. Some things never changed, even Lucius' fastidiousness. It felt oddly comforting, remembering Lucius at Hogwarts, chastising third year Slytherin's for untidy shirts and dirty shoes. He seemed less threatening, then.

"And a good day to you, Lucius." Severus replied, "how is Draco doing?"

Lucius stood up straight to his impressive height, almost as tall as Severus, but less gangly, and said, "he is doing well. He's already performing magic almost daily. We may be looking for a tutor for him soon."

"He must be advanced for his age, in that case." Said Severus, wondering if Harry could be categorised as the same, "Can I interest you in something to drink?"

"Oh, a cup of Chunn Mee would be delightful." Lucius replied.

"I have Tetley's or Earl Grey3."

Lucius sighed. "Dobby! Come here!"

A small creature with large, tennis-ball sized eyes wearing a tea-cozy stumbled out of the fireplace and cowered slightly. "y…yes master…"

"Bring myself and Severus Snape a pot of Chunn Mee. There should be cups in the kitchen, but there is a distinct lack of decent tea here. We shall sit in the living room."

"Yes master…Dobby goes make tea now!" He squeaked, and ran off.

"Lucius, I'm just finishing the last of the potions you requested, but the rest are waiting for you on the table."

Lucius smiled. "I realise that perhaps I did ask you a little late to do this."

"No, I've been ill recently and all my orders have been behind. I hope to catch up soon."

"I hear that you have taken Remus Lupin on." Lucius remarked as innocently as he could, "Indeed, having someone to look after the house must make things easier."

"Well, have needed assistance for a while." Said Severus, trying to figure out whether he was filling in gaps in the story Lucius was handing him, or digging his own grave, "And having one of my former tormentors cleaning my toilet does amuse me somewhat."

"Severus…in some ways, you a rather cruel man." Lucius said, his eyes filling with glee, "I do rather like that in you."

XXXXXXXXXX

"So, when did you decide to turn up?" Asked Korrinna, as Aonghus and Ingmarr arrived.

"Hey, we were working on figuring out how someone can erase a magical signature! What were you doing?"

"I was tracking Moody and trying to figure out what he knew that we didn't." She hissed, "It looks like someone got to him, though, and tried to smash his brains in! Thankfully whoever tried to do it either got scared off or wasn't very strong."

They looked into the room where Moody currently lie, his false eye whizzing around eerily as Moody lay far too still to allow them to feel comfortable.

"I sent the Healers away and have had a look at him." Said Korrinna, "I also had Arthur Weasley come in as well, to check to see if it was a magical item used. We both ran tests and it seems like he was hit with a blunt object, most likely a Cricket bat or wooden stick of some kind."

"Oh Moody," Alonghuis whispered, "so vigilant, but your only weakness is headtrama4."

"Indeed." Said Ingmarr, "but what can we do to get him up and running again? Umbridge has taken over this case fully, and it'll only be a matter of time before she starts realising exactly how many red herring's we've been slipping her, not to mention the various muggle contacts we've been using."

"She already think's the case is solved; blame Vernon Dursley and it's all over" said Alonghuis, "but there was no evidence of a murder, though plenty of evidence of abuse."

"He's already been arrested, and Jones slipped him some Veritasserum before they interviewed him." Said Ingmarr, "Veritasserum which we didn't agree to give him, Korrinna."

"Look, it was a gift for his help!" Korrinna spat, "And you should have heard the things that came out of…that Bastard's mouth! He beat that boy until he was black and blue, he didn't care about him, starved him, hated him; they boy was treated worse than an Azkaban death-eater!"

"We all know how he treated Harry Potter!" Ingmarr snapped, "But we can't let an innocent man go to jail for a crime he didn't commit! It doesn't matter that he did other things wrong; he'll be punished for that in time, but we need to find Harry Potter and punishing Vernon Dursley won't help!"

They all stared at the older man, head wrapped in bandages, barely breathing in the bed. "I have an idea." Said Aonghuis quietly, "But I'm going to need both of you to distract the healers for a little while. I think I can get him well enough to help us sort out Umbridge."

"Oh God, you're not going to try out that potion you've been obsessed with?" Asked Ingmarr, "Yes, I realise that Snape's ideas on body re-generation are interesting, but that's all they are, currently; ideas. Even he said that paper was purely theoretical!"

XXXXXXXXX

"So where are you now?" Asked Janice, voice crackling over the payphone's line.

"I'm not sure. I overslept and missed Manchester, I'm only one stop along." Hyacinth said, leaning against the dirty wall, "It's called Little Distaff , if that helps."

"Oh, actually, thay's rather good news!" Janice said, seeming to perk up, "You're very close to where I live! Look, I'm going to be in college for the rest of the day, but can you keep yourself amused until five? I've got to finish my first draft of my thesis today and everyone's out, but the town is quiet nice."

"Little Distaff…yes." Said Hyacinth, rolling the word around as if seeing how it fit, "I have a feeling I know this town well." Hyacinth looked at the map and found that Spinner's, Spools and Smith's end were all very close.

"Please, call me on my house number at five, I'll buy food on my way back!" Janice implored, "I'm so glad you've come to Manchester to see me, but you should have called!"

"I wanted it to be a surprise" Hyacinth lied, wondering if she'd tell Janice the truth or not.

"Anyway, I've got to go…"

"I'll call you at five Janice…I've got some things I need to check out anyway." The receiver clicked and Janice was gone. Hyacinth walked out of the station and looked at the old industrial village and wondered where she should go first.

_Follow me_, said a voice in her head, _I remember, even if you don't…I'll take you where you need to be._

Hyacinth obeyed. She turned right and began to walk towards the suburbs.

XXXXXXXXX

"That's a nice walking stick you have" Severus said, trying to find topics of conversation whilst he watched Dobby make tea in the corner of his eye, "What happened to the old one your father gave you?"

"I broke it" said Lucius, "Quiet by accident; it seems Dobby has rather a thicker skull than I though. I had to punish him doubly for that, didn't I Dobby?"

"y…yes mmmmmmaster…" Squeaked the elf as it prepared the tea, bringing over a pair of mis-matching cups.

"At least it gave Narcissa a chance to go shopping" he smiled, "Not that she needs any excuse, really, but she rather enjoyed finding the 'perfect' cane for me. I'm rather impressed that she was able to find a snake-head for me; it's much finer that the carved wooden head on the old one."

"Indeed." Severus took this chance to bottle the potion which had been brewing, using an adapted ladle to pour the perfect amount into the blue bottle, before taking a scrap of parchment and writing "Murtlap Essence" on it, and attaching it to the bottle.

"Ah, you really are a lifesaver at times, Severus, I was running out of confutagi, indeed, a few of my favourite toys have experienced some near misses recently."

Severus found himself wondering how many illegally enchanted objects Lucius owned; one bottle would be enough to vanish around five hundred items! However, as Lucius was the one paying the money, Severus was not one to question things. "Really? The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office is, how should one put it…rather understaffed."

"That may be, but for some reason Arthur Weasley has got it into his Ginger little head to keep an eye on me. Not a day passes that he doesn't attempt to find some reason to check the house. I will really have to report him soon, I have quiet a few acquaintances who will be happy to shut him up for a while."

Dobby placed the teapot on the table, and Lucius poured himself a cup. After tasting it, he spat it out and poured the cup on Dobby. "Idiot! You brewed it too long! It's bitter now!!!"

"ow…sorry master…" Dobby said, wincing in pain. Lucius then poured the rest of the teapot all over dobby, the elf gasping with pain as his skin crackled and burnt under the hot fluid.

"Dobby! Make it again, right, but not before you've cleaned this mess up, and punished yourself again!"

"…sss…sss..sssorry master…." Dobby gasped again and started cleaning the floor with the cloth he magiced into his hand.

Lucius hit Dobby with his cane and turned back to Severus. "Eugh, waste of tea. Can that werewolf do much better?"

"Not really." Said Severus.

"Hmm…Severus, how long were you ill for? You look exhausted!" Lucius looked concerned.

" Oh, a week or so of flu" Severus lied, "…it's been the catching up that has been the real strain."

"Really, Severus…Narcissa does worry about you. She thinks that you're working too hard."

"Does she?" Sais Severus as neutrally as he possibly could.

"You're an incredibly intelligent man, your magical abilities are much higher and developed than most people's, yet you insist on working for dodgy little half-bloods making potions which sell for half the price they should. You should be doing more with your life."

"Dumbledore offered me the opportunity to teach a few years back…" Severus protested.

"And you should have taken it; being close to Dumbledore, not only would you have had a much more comfortable life, but when the Dark Lord comes back, you'd be in a perfect position…"

"…if he comes back." Said Severus darkly.

"Oh, haven't you heard? Harry Potter's gone missing…no one know's who's done it. Don't let anyone know yet, as the ministry is trying to keep it under wraps, and no death-eater has admitted to it as of yet, but with Harry Potter out of the picture, it looks like The dark Lord has a chance of returning…"

"….R…really? Harry Potter gone? Can't say I'm sorry, the boy's father was a monster" said Severus, keeping a straight face "but do you think He could come back, just because the boy was missing?"

"You'd know better than me; you heard the prophesy first hand." Replied Lucius.

"hmm…I suppose it could be." Said Severus, looking at the table.

"Still, if you were interested…Draco needs a tutor, and I can think of no one better to teach him."

"Me? Teach?" asked Severus.

"Yes. I remember you helping me with my homework; you taught better than most of the professors at Hogwarts!" Lucius exclaimed, "Indeed, there are many concepts I would not understand without your help!"

"I…I..I'm not cut out for…that sort…of thing…" Severus garbled.

"Well, obviously don't make a decision now, but you could set up house in one of our spare bedrooms, the basement would be yours to work in, I would pay you handsomely and, well…it'd be like old times, really."

_Yes,_ though Severus, _walled up, waiting for orders from The Dark Lord, confiding in each other because we had no other choice…other things as well, if we were at all honest with each other. _They wouldn't be, though, Severus knew, because Severus had stopped feeling any kind of affection for the man a long while ago, long before Volder…The Dark Lord had been defeated. And Lucius did love Narcissa deeply, perhaps a little too much. He didn't want to go back to that time, really. That time between Lily's rejection and her death. Living after her death had seemed so pointless until a few months ago, but he had been stupid, almost suicidal after her rejection, taking on the worst missions, prepared to die in the name of The Dark Lord because at least he'd be dying for something.

"I'll…think about it." Was all he was able to reply with.

XXXXXXXX

Hyacinth had been walking for a full hour, along streets she almost recognised and by houses she almost knew until she stood outside a house in the middle of suburbia.

"So, why am I here?" She asked out aloud. She sat down on the curb and stared at the gutter, when she started to remember things.

_She saw a woman with bright red hair in the window of the house, polishing the dining table whilst her two daughters chatted with her, one Blonde, thin like a reed and rather plain and one with bright red hair and rather pretty in a unmediated way. The red headed child smiled brightly in a way that made her green eyes twinkle._

"_Mum! Mum! When is Dad bringing his boss over? When can we put on our nice dresses…" She asked._

_The woman laughed at her daughter, "Later, later! Why don't you two go out and entertain yourselves? When you get back, I'll have your dresses ready for you to put on!"_

"_Okay!" said the red-headed girl, and held out her hand, which her shoes flew straight into._

"_mu-uuuum!" Whined the Blonde haired girl, "She's doing it again!"_

"_Lily!" Chastised the woman, "Don't do that! Don't use your…powers, we don't know what they are. You could hurt someone without knowing."_

"_Sorry Mum…" the red-head looked crestfallen, whilst the Blonde smiled on triumphantly. _

And suddenly the scene changed, a few years later, where the same girl sat at the dinning table, playing with a wand, turning the tea-cup she was drinking from into a mouse, and writing down notes as she did so.

"_Lily! Stop being so…freakish at the table!" The blonde demanded._

"' '_Tunie, I have to do my homework as much as you do…"_

"' _Can't you do that in your room?" The Blonde shrieked, getting up from the table, "I mean, it's so…freaky!"_

"_Freak, freak freak, is that the only insult you can think of? No wonder Mum and Dad didn't bother trying to get you to take the scholarship for Manchester Girls, there's no hope you'd get it…." Suddenly the red-head threw a hand over her mouth in horror, shockedf at the very words coming out of her mouth. The Blonde girl turned bright red, radiating anger "oh, Petunia, I'm so sorry…" the redhead tried, but it was too late.  
_

"_No! If you think I'm…" The blonde burst into tears and ran upstairs. _

And so times passed again, and the red-headed girl was growing into a beautiful young woman, though right now she was in a slightly awkward phase, but even so, still rather attractive. The older red-headed woman sat with her in the living room whilst her Husband, a good natured, sandy-haired man, was reading the paper. Hyacinth could tell by looking in the window that it was Christmas, a tall, well-dressed tree standing in the window.

"_Oh, Lily, when is Severus coming over?" asked the woman._

"_About two…he said he wanted to make sure his mum was okay before he came over." Answered the red-headed teen, gently opening a book on Charm technique._

"_Now, Petunia has her new boyfriend coming over today, and I want you both to be nice to him…"_

"_Which one is this? Number twenty nine of thirty two?" Lily joked._

"_Lily…"_

"_Sorry Mum…"_

"_Lily, it's lovely to have you both back for Christmas, and for you to be bringing one of your wizard friends over. Though I must ask…is Severus…"_

"_Is he what?" The teen asked evasively._

"…_more than a friend." Her father added._

"_Da-aaad!" The teen answered, "He's, like, my best friend, but so's Mary McDonald…"_

"_Now, now, lily, I was a teenager once," said her father, lowering the paper and looking at her with his bright green eyes, " and I know the look in a boy's eye…he likes you, and we were both wondering…"_

" _Mu-um! Da-ad! Please! We're just friends…and he likes a girl in his own house anyway…I think…"_

_The older woman hugged her daughter, "Lily…we love you very much and you are very bright, but sometimes you're utterly oblivious!"_

Hyacinth felt herself laugh at the woman's words.

And time went on again, the red-headed teen now most certainly an attractive woman, wearing her graduation clothes, her parents taking photos of her.

"_Oh, we're so proud of you, Lily…" Her Mother cooed._

_Her father hugged her and said, "Going off to work at the Ministry of Magic…we're so proud you managed to get the job!"_

_The girl was struck dumb, and then hugging her father tight said, "…thank you so much…"_

And Hyacinth stumbled back, and wide eyed ran away, unable to cope with the waking dream she'd just had.

XXXXXXXXXX

Right, we're quiet close to the climax now! I've barely edited this, so let me know if I've made an awful mistakes. I kinda bashed most of this out today, let letting the story flow.

Why Snape is essentially a programmer

1/ Programmers tend to wear black because it is practical and easy to match – Snape always wears black, because it is practical and easy to match.

2/ Programmers tend to be a bit grumpy with people who come into programming insisting they know everything already and then take the criticism personally when it is revealed that they don't. They often partake in shaudenfreuder when a so called "expert" ignored their advice.

3/ See how Snape makes fun of "noobs" at potions. If 4chan existed in the wizard world, he'd so bring up memes to make fun of Nevillie Longbottom.

4/ Programmers slack off whilst "their code complies." Potions-makers slack off whilst "their potions brew."

5/People usually don't understand programming or how to do it, but need computer programmes for everyday life, from digital watches to spreadsheets to DVD players. The wizarding world relies on those who can make potions although it seems that very few can make them as well as Snape can make them.

6/Programmers tend not to see daylight as they do tend to work at night; certainly the case in Britain as they try to be awake at the same time as American programmers. They also don't see to mind missing out on daylight; Snape lives in a Dungeon and is described as "palid"; it would not be unfair to assume these two things are related.

7/Subtly and social graces, anyone? Snape lacks them as he'd rather get straight to the point. Many programmers have the same thoughts.

8/ Programmers can be very solitary people happy with their own company. This isn't to say they're loners, just that they're happy working on their own. Snape seems quiet happy to work on his own.

9/ Showers! They do lack them when working on a project! (I know this far too bitterly from experience) If Snape's hair is greasy and his teeth yellow, it's because he's got more important thing to worry about than his personal appearance, dammit!

Ha, not sure where I'm going with this list. Just thought I'd put it in for fun!

Now for extra notes!

1 Dark Therapy by Echobelly – contemporary Britpop to my messed up storyline.

2 Guess who spent a disproportionate amount of their childhood reading Tintin comics? On a more serious note, I'm pretending that Harry would have had a chance to read them after Dudley got bored of them. Gah, maybe I should have left this out, but the parallel works so well!

3 Okay, I'm not sure if this is a UK specific joke or not, or if other people will see it as a joke, but Tetley's tea is a fairly "normal" brand, as in, it's drunk by normal people who don't think of tea as anything other than tea and comes in a teabag, whilst Lucius has just requested a very difficult to prepare type of Chiniese tea. Lucius, I doubt, ever drinks any tea that comes in a teabag. Oh well, my inner sob thinks it's funny…

4 This is unofficially my favourite way of summing up Moody.


	10. Control

Chapter 10 – Control.

Bah – I cannot get this chapter to be as good as I'd like it! It comes close, and the only thing I'm particularly happy about is the fact I got to talk Britpop, rather than the fact that the tool even works particularly well. You'll see what I mean in a bit.

Been a bit of a while since I updated – in that time, have dumped boyfriend (eeeeep), been to Bath for a Gin and amphetamine fuelled four days, with a little time for gaying (Well, perhaps less gaying than watching a friend of mine getting a massive crush on a pretty cat-boy-thing and reminding both of them to sleep occasionally), lost my last job and make a lot of mix-tapes, including one for a pretty boy shape who doesn't like me back. Eh, life is awesome.

I'm sorry this chapter isn't great. I can't get it to work and I'm not sure why. Possibly *because* of the Britpop, but not sure. If you get bored, I would recommend listening to any of the songs listed.

XXXXXXXXXXX

_  
And she gave away the secrets of her past,  
And said I've lost control again,  
And a voice that told her when and where to act,  
She said I've lost control again._

_Joy Division, "she's lost control."_

XXXXXXXXX

Aonghuis, with his arms full of potion bottles, bits of plant and animal ran in, panting, and dropped everything in the table.

"Right, I can cut some corners with the potions, so this shouldn't take too long…"

"Cut corners? Are you insane Aonghuis?" Ingmarr exploded, "This is a man's life you're possibly risking!"

"Yes, and a man who would kill us if he knew we had a way to wake him up and didn't take it!" Aonghuis snapped, spreading things out on the table. He then grabbed his wand, brought out a tiny cauldron and cast a spell on it, making it grow to normal size, then lit a fire under it with his wand. "Right, let's see how we do this…"

He pulled a dog-eared piece of paper out of a pocket, which he quickly read before he poured two of the bottles in and then, grabbing a metal rod he'd picked up, started to stir them together. Korrinna looked over his shoulder at the paper, and stood back, considering what had been written.

"Okay, I can see how the skelegrow and the blood replenisher work, but I'm not so sure that you need to put a bezoar in. He's not been poisoned."

"He needs it to counteract the effect of the mandrake root and dandelion milk reacting; they can be very poisonous." Aonghuis said.

"Okay, but what is the Dandelion milk for?" Korrinna asked.

"It counteracts the excessive regeneration of the skelegrow!" huffed Aonghuis, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. He continued to place things in the cauldron, chopping up roots and leaves at break-neck speed, then mixing again, then adding powders and drops of potion as and when they needed it. He moved quickly, fluidly, moving in an odd rhythm that somehow seemed to be in synch with the potion, which swirled and changed colour at every new item added, boiling loudly until Aonghuis stopped, the potion suddenly drifting slowly, as if an indication it was ready, turning a sultry purple-brown, bubbling menacingly.

"well…here goes nothing…" said Aonghuis, and taking a knife out of his pocket, cut his finger. He winced slightly, but after watching a tiny trickle of blood run out of the cut he dipped the digit into the potion. The three of them waited, wondering what would happen.

The finger heeled up instantly.

"Impressive." Ingmarr conceded.

"It won't work for certain, but we've got to try it…"Aonghuis breathed.

"If it does, it'll be a miracle." Ingmarr said.

"Moody doesn't believe in miracles. He doesn't believe in thank you's either." Korrinna added.

"I know. But I believe that he's got the information to save Harry Potter. He must have seen something last night, seen or heard something to make him lose vigilance enough to be hit over the head…and it'd have to be a heck of a lot to allow him to drop his guard." Aonghuis held out his hands. "I'm not trying to work miracles. I'm trying to work 'keeping things together for long enough'. How about you?"

"No, Aonghuis, you're an…" Ingmarr started.

"_Tegio!"_ Korrinna charmed. Aonghuis' hands were suddenly bathed in a dull yellow light, and covered in a fine, jelly-like substance. "It'll keep you safe whilst you apply it."

"Korrinna, what do you…" Ingmarr started.

"…I'm doing the right thing!" Korrinna answered, "Aonghuis is right. Moody would want this. And he's right about Harry Potter…."

"Aonghuis…"Ingmarr raised his wand, then lowered it. "…I'm not taking responsibility for this. "

"I know." Alonghuis placed his hands into the cauldron and then swished them about, as if he were washing them. "This is my responsibility…I chose it…"

XXXXX

…and Hyacinth stared at her hands, a small pocket mirror cupped within them, and stared into the reflection of her dull grey eyes and wondered what it all meant. She felt as if she knew that Red headed girl, intimately, but she had a mental block…

Hyacinth lay back in the grass, sighing. Could she be…no, no, she couldn't…but it had all felt so real, as if she had _been_ there, during all of those moments, as if she had known everything that had happened in between but now had forgotten them again.

_You know this place too, _ said the voice in her head.

"A playpark?" she said out loud. She loosened her grip on the mirror, and stared out, trying to ignore the voice telling her that something important happened here. The park itself was empty, except for a man and a boy, playing on the swings.

The man, somehow oddly familiar, didn't sound like he was from around here; he had a very southern accent, if she had to place it, she'd waver before saying it probably some kind of received pronunciation from a public school boy's School. He was dressed delightfully shabbily in a brown pinstripe suit which he had matched with a miner's strike T-shirt and shoes with the souls flapping apart. The boy he was with had long dark hair and a nose which seemed a touch too big for his face, upon which balance a pair of round spectacles which didn't suit him at all. He was giggling as he swung high up into the air, waving his feet in their air as if there were no greater pleasure in the world. He whooped with childish joy as he went higher than his guardian, who smiled kindly upon him.

"Lookit me, Remus! I Can fly!" The boy laughed.

"H…Marcus…be careful!" Shouted the man.

But the boy had let go of the swing at the very height of its arc and flown into the air, quite literally flown, launched himself skyward with a great shout of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, he soared like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly1.

"You shouldn't do that where people can see you." Chastised the man, with laughably little conviction.

"I know." The little boy said cheekily, "But no one's around anyway."

"My turn!" the ragged man said, and leapt off, flying through the air through pure momentum, but landed rather lightly himself, attempting to seem more dignified than he was.

The little boy giggled. "You're very silly, Uncle Remus."

She caught the eye of the shabbily dressed man, who smiled a small smile at her, and said, "I'm very old too…I'm going to sit down for a bit…are you all right here on your own for a little?"

"I can get some ingredients for dad!" The boy pipped up, and began running around the park, pulling at various plants growing up through the cracks.

The man then came and sat down beside her, as if trying to ignore she existed for a short while, then turned to her. "Hello, what's a pretty young woman doing in a park like this?"

Hyacinth giggled. "I'm not so young. Or pretty come to that."

"Oh, come on…"he grinned, "Don't do yourself down! You look just like a..a…friend of mine, from long ago. Had all the boys chasing after her. Seems like she picked the wrong one in the end."

"How did you decide that one?" Asked Hyacinth.

"She's dead." The man deadpanned.

"Oh." Hyacinth didn't know what to say.

There was an uncomfortable silence. The man reached into his pocket, and pulled out a chocolate bar, six more tumbling out of his stuffed pockets. "Fancy some?" He asked.

"Whispa bar? I haven't had one of these since…"She knew when, but couldn't place it, so stopped. The man broke the chocolate bar in half, and gave the bigger half to her.

She took it gratefully, nibbling on it as she blushed.

"It's very odd…every time I look at you, I keep getting this feeling I know you." He said, smelling her surupticiously. _Hmm, odd, L_upin though, _I think I've smelt someone like her before…._

"Hmm…the strange thing is…I do too." She replied, staring into his eyes, "But I can't think who you are." For some reason, Hyacinth kept on thinking of Dogs. She tried to push the thoughts to the back of her head.

"Well, I have a common face, or at least that's what I've been told." The man beamed. "Oh yes, my name's…"

"…Remus?" She asked.

The man looked taken aback. "How did you know that?" He asked. He practically felt his ears prick up, trying to figure out where he'd smelt her before.

"I…I think I heard your son calling to you…" She explained, watching the boy.

"Oh, he's my Nephew." The man said casually, "I'm keeping an eye on him for…his father."

"Isn't it a school day?" asked Hyacinth.

"Oh, he's being homeschooled…" said Remus, the lie betrayed in his voice, "and today his Dad has a meeting, so I said I'd take him out for a bit." Remus pulled another bar of chocolate out of his pocket and after fumbling with the wrapper, gulped it down in three pieces.

"Maybe you could tell me more about your friend?" Hyacinth asked, "the one who chose the wrong man…"

Hyacinth would have asked more, but the boy ran up to them, holding out some daisies in a grubby hand, his long, sheet like, black hair moving in the wind. "I found some flowers!" he announced proudly.

Remus laughed. "That's nice! Do you want me to look after them, so we can take them home to your dad?"

"I…" the boy looked a little confused. Then he shoved the flowers in Hyacinth's face eagerly and said, "You! You can have them! You'd look pretty with flowers in your hair!"

She reached out to take them, and caught a view of his eyes. Big, bright, charming green eyes which stood out from the rest of his face, which made him look earnestly handsome, despite the genetic disadvantages of having a slightly hooked nose and wearing glasses. She had the sudden urge to reach out, to grab a hold of the boy and swing him around but resisted as his Uncle was watching. Instead, she tucked one of the flowers into her hair and tried to surreptitiously take another glance at the boy's face again…and saw a scar behind a few strands of hair…

"Hmm, what's that…" She said, holding out her hand to brush the hair away.

Lupin's eyes suddenly grew huge and knocked her hand out of the way.

"Hey…what's…"Hyacinth quickly protested.

Lupin laughing a loud, nervous laugh said, "Wow, look at my wrist! I've got to be going now!" The man, standing up as if his joints were sore and old, motioned to the boy who followed without argument.

"wait…" she called after them, "waiiiittt…"

XXXXXXXXX

…And Mad Eye Moody opened his one good eye left and gasped out. "That _hurt_, you bastards!"

Alonghuis laughed, Ingmarr hugged Korrinna, who giggled.

"Why do you all look so happy! We have a case to be working on!" Moody grumbled, and launched himself out of the bed. She stood for a second before losing his strength, falling onto Alonghuis.

Alonghuis looked alarmed, but Moody snapped, "What're you looking at! I took a blow to the head! It'll take me a few minutes before I'm ready to start running again, which is why I have you lot. Or so I've been told." Moody fell back onto the bed and said, "Ingmarr, I want you to find a werewolf. Remus Lupin should do…they're able to detect through any kind of charms or potions or such nonsense. Then I want you to tell Dumbledore that I will meet with him as soon as possible. Don't let him take no for an answer."

Ingmarr nodded, and left the room immediately. Moody turned to Alonghuis. "Right, apart from clearing this bloody mess up, though thank you for healing me by the way, I want you to do the paperwork to get me out of this hospital."

"Moody, are you really going to wait…"

"No, of course I'm not! But it should give you something to do. Oh yes, if you get time, can you arrange a meeting with Leonard Smyth? You should find him in orbit around Umbridge, praising her every virtue." Alonghuis nodded, and got to work shrinking his equipment.

"Korrinna…"

"What do you want me to do?" She said rolling her eyes.

"I want you to find me my clothes…" he started as she made a face, "…and come with me to the Ministry. Those records you've found might finally have a use…"

"So, what did you find out last night?" She asked, "It sounds like the last piece of the puzzle is coming into place."

"My dear, the pieces of the puzzle have simply started to look like pieces." He said darkly, "Now it's just to place them all together…."

XXXXXXXXX

An hour later, after fruitless searching across what felt like the entirety of the dismal little town, Hyacinth had found the grand total of…nothing. She'd searched down Spinner's lane three times and nothing, nothing had happened. In fact, it felt as if less than nothing had happened there, because if felt entirely fuzzy and foreign to her, rather than simply like she didn't know the place. It was as if the place had forgotten her….

As she sipped on the dirty mug of tea, she listened casually to the radio and heard it start to crackle, as if the signal had broken.

"It's bin doin' tha' all day!" Snapped the fat woman in an apron who worked at the cash-till, "Give it a good shake Reeeeta!"

The other, equally fat woman waddled over to the small, over-worn looking radio and thumped it. Suddenly it began to sing out, "_This is ground control to Major Tom!" _it fizzled again before it spat out, "_there's something VERY wrong__2__"_

XXXXXXXXX

Remus slammed the door behind him, looking as white as a sheet, sliding down the door as it closed, reaching for another bar of chocolate like a smoker might reach for a cigarette and chewed on the end of it carefully.

"Well, that was the uncomfortable three hours of my life for a long time." Snape said, walking out of the kitchen, "Lucius talks like an old woman at times…" _not to mention the slightly uncomfortable linger at the fireplace, _Severus thought, _as if questioning his decision_. He stared at the werewolf shivering by the door, Harry trying to get him to stand up again. "Ah, got the shakes already?" Snape sneered.

"As a matter of fact, yes." Remus answered, "but…Snape, you wouldn't believe it…I swear, I saw… I _smelt, I smelt_…"

"You saw what, Lupin?" Snape drawled.

"…Lily…"

Snape froze for a second. "Sometimes, Lupin, I think you're capable of being a decent human being. " Snape hissed, a tinge of actual pain hidden behind his venum, "Then you say something like that. " Snape turned away and said, "I'm sure you've had enough of Lupin, H…Marcus…shall we leave him here for a bit?"

Harry didn't nod but said, "What's going on?"

"Oh, Lupin is playing a bit of a joke on me." Snape said bitterly.

"Snape…snivel…I'm not lying! I could smell her!" he pleaded.

"I made a potion to counteract the shakes you would inevitably get; it's on the kitchen table, next to a note from Dumbledore …if you can make it there." Snape said with a certain amount of glee in his voice.

Remus had been cursing Snape, but suddenly realised what he had said. "Note from Dumbledore?"

"Yes, I took the liberty of reading it; he wants to meet up with you this evening. Probably wants to offer you a job" Snape sniffed.

"I could tell him…everything, you know."

"You can't. Trust me, if you even think of it, that lovely little curse I placed on you will come into action."

"I hate you so much right now." Growled Remus.

Snape wanted to walk off and leave Remus to crawl over to the potion and the letter, but looking at the man who right now was desperately sweating and shivering, and remembering how strong and happy Lupin used to be before Lily died…before the war ended, he took pity and sighing said, "Oh for the love of Dumbledore…" before pulling Lupin up, Lupin noting how much stronger he was than his thin frame would usually betray.

Lupin, of course, said nothing, but allowed Snape to help him into a kitchen, slumping him down by the letter and a small cauldron which was still bubbling. Lupin, perhaps a little unwisely, reached for the letter first.

"What's that?" Asked Harry.

"It's a letter from Dumbledore." Replied Lupin.

"Who's Dumbledore?" Harry asked.

"He's…the Headmaster of a Wizard school." Said Lupin, rolling opening up the parchment. The note itself was rather short and curt. He would have ignored it if anyone else had sent it, but the message, _Dear Lupin, please come see me as soon as possible, as I have been told it is urgent_ interested him. Dumbledore still kept in touch with him; not many people had. He couldn't bear to lose his last friendly contact with the wizarding world; in fact, it had been Dumbledore that had suggested he came here when he couldn't afford to pay the shop price for wolfsbaine. He suddenly remembered that he had flowers in his pocket. Pulling out the sad, crumpled weeds he said "Harry, want to go give these to your father?"

Harry grinned and ran over to his father, offering out the flowers, knocking the radio which had been left on the side.

As Harry offered the flowers, the radio suddenly turned itself on and let out a statikly lyric, _"We may be dead and we may be gone, But we will be, we will be, we will be, right by your side, Until the day you die__3__, This is no easy ride"_

"Who turned that thing on!" Snape demanded.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"_Oh, find me, find me ! Find me ! I'll haunt you_" blasted out the speakers in a little café, after crackling for a full three seconds until the tune changed, bursting out at a different tempo, "_Screaming my name through the astral plane…Down through the platinum spires, Down through the telephone wires…__4__" _The radio crackled again and sang, _"Spiiiinn__5__n"_ crackle_, "__rn to end  
Images linger like repression …__6__" _the music fuzzed out with a high pitched squeak before more words leaked out_, "__Ever since that night we've been together. Lovers at first sight, in love forever…strangers in the night…__7__"_

Hyacinth stood up and grabbed the radio., ripping it from it's cord in the wall.

"Hey, what do you think…!" shouted the fat woman.

Hyacinth ignored her, and in the street ran out and shouted, "Where do I go!"

"_(Go West) Baby you and me, (Go West) This is our destiny (Aah)__8_"replied the radio.

"West….west…" She muttered distractedly, "West…"

XXXXXXXXXX

Though apparating to Hogsmead was easy enough, it took Lupin longer than he thought to get to Hogwarts. He had decided against flooing in, as he really needed an extra ten minutes for the potion to take full effect, so instead he had arranged to meet Hadgrid by the gate, making some excuse about how close to full moon it was and how flooing tended to make him feel worse around this time. Dumbledore had been rather charitable for allowing this, though part of Lupin wondered if Dumbledore knew something was wrong..._oh dear,_ Lupin laughed to himself, _I'm starting to sound as paranoid as Snape!_

But then again...as much as he only knew vaguely what had happened to Harry, living with his muggle family, Lupin also knew that he didn't want to let the boy go. Even if Snape was lying through his teeth about being the boy's father and the muggle's mis-treating him, Lupin still had Harry back, the one thing from the happiest time in his life that had survived the war. James dead, Lily dead, Peter dead, Sirius revealed for what he was, deatheater traitor scum...who turned on his best friends.

But Harry survived, even if he was Snape's son, not James, he survived, a small part of marauder history in him, regardless of what Snape might claim. Lily may not have been a fully blown marauder, but she had the spirit, which was why James had been so attracted to her. That sort of controlled wildness with a healthy disregard for propriety for the sake of propriety…

In hindsight, Lupin could see what she had seen in Snape, in some way; both intelligent, both knowledgeable about magic, far moreso than their peers. Both from muggle backgrounds; both from the same Northern Town, feeling like the first of their kind in existence…that kind of sympathy Lupin didn't know, but has long yearned for. Lily and Snape had it in each other; even when the people they loved didn't understand what was happening to them, they both did. They couldn't have been the only Wizards in all of Manchester, but it must have been hard not to feel like that.

Yet even so, they kind of…fitted together in an odd way. She was sympathetic to a fault, fierce when her friends were threatened, a tendency to act before thinking and had a knack to make things happen once there was a settled plan. Snape on the other hand was cold, even after you felt he was starting not to hate you, still felt cold, calculating, constantly planning without necessarily following through and always fully in control of himself, a certain kind of cautiousness which allowed him to always be on top of a situation. Lily must have seen that and known that was what she had needed...And now Snape had planned his escape with Harry, Lupin could sense things that had been planned and accounted for were instead running out of control. Things had not gone to plan and Snape was not able to cope with it. It was like watching a duck kicking manically against the current, trying to seem remotely graceful.

Hagrid let Lupin into Hogwarts and walked across the grounds making small talk; Yes, Lupin was well, No, he still didn't have a Job, Yes, it was true he was living with Snape; What? He was Snape's househelp?...how ridiculous a thought!...but also kind of true...

Half an hour across the grounds, avoiding the Woods carefully, as well as any topics of canine conversation and Lupin arrived at Hogwarts, Hagrid letting him in through the Entrance Hall, which he walked through, the halls filling with the noise of his single pair of feet, moving quickly through the Great hall, snaking his way through corridors and along the moving staircases, barely noticing his movement; he knew where he was going, it was like second nature. It felt like returning home.

He arrived at the entrance to the office and said, "Fudge Flies", the door swinging opening and allowing him in. Dumbledore was standing just in front of his desk, Pacing slightly.

"Oh, Hello Lupin…" said Dumbledore, absent-mindedly, "How did you guess the password?"

"In some ways you are rather predictable, Dumbledore." Lupin smiled, "You also sent everyone a box last Christmas."

"Hmm, I should probably try to think of something different. Chocolate Frog?" Dumbledore produced a small toad wrapped up in foil from his sleeve.

"Don't mind if I do…" said Lupin, not noticing the five muggle chocolate bars that fell out of his coat pocket as he lent forward, and after unwrapping it with shaking fingers, practically swallowed it whole.

"Hmm, yes…it seems that there is a storm coming soon." Said Dumbledore, staring up at the ceiling of his office, "but the air has been rather still for a while…"

"What's this about, Dumbledore…."Asked Lupin, trying to keep calm.

"Oh, don't worry. I realize that you have certain…limitations on what you can say, but I am aware of your, _changes_, as of late."

Lupin tried to look confused, but looked guilty instead. "Why am I here?" he asked.

"I was requested to find a werewolf." Dumbledore replied, "and you fit that description, just about."

"By…who…." Lupin started, but the door swung open and a man stood in the doorway, blocking the light, holding himself up against the doorstep, panting slightly.

"Ha, ha ha ha…" he spoke, between breaths, "Dumbledore, ha, ha, ha…it's all one big…joke, isn't it?"

Moody stood up, Korrina holding him up and walked towards the two men standing beside the desk. Moody gripped at the stone walls and said, "How simple, was it, to make everything go your way?"

"Moody, what's happened to your…" Asked Lupin.

"…accident involving a baseball bat and a botched experimental potion." Moody Snapped back, and drew himself up to his impressive height, meeting Dumbledore's eyes with his one good eye. "No thanks to you, Dumbledore."

"What on earth do you mean, Moody?" Asked Dumbledore, unconcerned about the grimacing man in his face.

"You see, Dumbledore, You are a very clever man, really. Very Clever. But you, like many Clever men, forget that sometimes a less-clever-man can understand what you've been thinking." Moody lent on the desk and let out a Loud sigh. "You see, Harry Potter, as you and seemingly half the Wizarding world knows, is missing. But so far, we've been approaching it from the wrong angle; asking ' why would someone take Harry Potter?' The only answers lead us to Death Eaters and dead men, muggles and mysteries which can't be solved. However, if we think about it, there is a far more sensible question; the question is not "Why did someone take Harry Potter, but rather ' why someone _wouldn't _have taken him', isn't it?"

"Wouldn't have taken him?" repeated Lupin, stupidly.

"Yes! _Wouldn't_. let's review the facts as they stand; we have discovered, as have the wizarding and muggle press, that Harry's home life was far from perfect. His Aunt and uncle, instead of showering the boy in affection and love have, well…done completely the opposite. They beat him, they locked him up in cupboards, they told him he was worthless, a freak…Lupin, Dumbledore here has known that the muggles that Harry was placed with had been abusing him, hurting him, lying in bed, watching roaches climb the wall, knowing that you could come and stop them all9, but he didn't, Lupin. He didn't. Dumbledore let this continue, even though he didn't have to let it happen."

"I couldn't do anything…" Dumbledore said, "I didn't think he'd be harmed, and I was wrong; if I had tried to remove him, he would have been placed into the public eye…I didn't know what to do…"

"But you knew one other person who might, Dumbledore, didn't you?" Dumbledore stood silently, staring at Moody as his legs began to wobble underneath him. "You see, and Lupin, you probably are going to want to sit down for this, Korinna found out a few rather interesting things going through the record room. Lily Evans never put a father on the birth certificate for Harry Potter. Which is very odd, as, well, she was married. To James Potter. But then I realized that perhaps there were some things we didn't know about Harry Potter.

When a mythology builds up, even a very new one, things become…blurry. Very quickly. Peasants are suddenly sired by Gods, Princes who save the Princess have their past princesses forgotten, a drunk fool will be remembered as a genius if he tells his own story right; history is written by the winners. And, you see, we found that we had certain…assumptions in mind; who could save the world but the Son of a pureblood? A Pureblood and muggleborn union, it reads like a fairy story, doesn't it? As does the Headboy and Headgirl falling in love and getting married. Life, as well all know, is much more complicated than that."

"My dear Moody, those are fine words, I never knew you were so eloquent." Interrupted Dumbledore, "But what exactly are you flying at?"

"Well, you see, when we were working from the case under certain assumptions, the answer would never be found; seeing a Deatheater take the boy, now, all the deatheaters who have not been found innocent are locked up and all those who aren't are too scared to make a move yet. No one would be that stupid, unless they had a reason to be. The first thought is that You-Know-Who is back; except that this cannot be the case, otherwise we would all be under siege right now. The Second thought is that someone took Harry for his own good, indeed, it was Petunia Dursley who gave me the first real clue in this case; in an interview with one of my people she said, '_And as he grew up, he started to act more and more like her little wizard boyfriend_, which would have sounded just like James Potter if she hadn't followed it up with, _So calm and quiet, so strange, as if something else was hiding behind those eyes, …_does this, Dumbledore, sound like the James Potter you knew? That you knew, Lupin, than anyone knew?"

"Quiet, certainly not." Lupin conceded.

"When I heard this, the thought struck me; who is Harry Potter, really? Is the Harry we know a myth born of wishful thinking and clever lies, or a real boy? There was no evidence to say that what we know wasn't real, I can say that much; no records to the contrary at all; but then again, we only had one person who claimed to know anything about his attacker; Hyacinth Smyth."

"Leonard Smyth's sister?" Asked Dumbledore, "But she's a squib…"

"Oh yes, that's what we knew at the time…but Dumbledore, it seems that…she's not." Moody suddenly went limp, and then changed the subject, "In fact, after much careful deliberation, I have decided there his only one person who could have taken Harry Potter that day, and I will prove this to you with the facts."

"One man?" Asked Dumbledore, as if indulging a particularly precocious child, "Indeed, what man would have taken the boy?"

"The one man who never even entered our heads to accuse, a man who was a death eater, who is powerful and cunning enough to find his way through various Ministry regulations but never seems to have been heard of, but at the same time is known by everyone. Someone who is trusted because nobody ever thinks to _not_ trust him. Someone who we know loved Lily but at the same time, we don't think could possibly have gone after the boy."

"Hmm…who could this person be?" Asked Dumbledore. Lupin suddenly started to look uncomfortable.

"Why…Severus Snape of course."

XXXXX

Bah, I may re-upload this chapter later.

1 Taken straight from deathly hallows. I hope someone notices…

2 For the interested, this is from David Bowie's "Space oddity." You'll see what I'm doing here soon.

3 Suffer Little Children, The Smiths. A Macurian band around the time, in my timeline, they would have been kids.

4 New generation, Suede. Typical BritPop band. I just like them. And their lyrics can be manipulated for my needs!

5 Alive or dead, Spin me right 'round.

6 Born to End, manic street preachers.

7 A Mildly cut up "strangers in the night", as Sung by Frank Sinatra.

8 Go west, by the Pet shop boys.

9 Okay, this is me being a music geek again – a rather bastardised version of some of the lyrics from "Common people" by Pulp.


	11. Everything Must Go

Chapter 12 – Everything Must go.

*Le sigh* I swear I wasn't a fan of the manics _before_ I started this fic, especially this album, but its funny was three months of it being on repeat will do, though I agree, this album isn't as good as the stuff before Richie left (I _will_ be shoehorning references to this in later)

I'm quiet happy with the flashback here, actually…though I still need to sort out a few kinks with the language. I don't come from Manchester, so any mancunian readers, please forgive the fact that I just made it all up off the top of my head. Though Manchester did get completely hammered by Thatcher in the 80s. I will also admit to disliking fics where, for example, James Potter is portrayed as being completely evil and Severus as completely good in these matters, so in the flashback, I think Severus Snape acts fairly disgracefully, though sympathetically. More will happen with James as we go on.

Let me know what you think. I realise that I've been submitting shorter chapters recently, but the one after this will be a bit of a monster, I promise! I _might_ even stop quoting Britpop/Manchester scene songs!

XXXXXX

_Freed from the memory  
Escape from our history, history  
And I just hope that you can forgive us  
But everything must go  
And if you need an explanation  
Then everything must go_

_Everything must go, Manic Street Preachers._

XXXXXXX

"Severus Snape? What makes you think that?" Said Dumbledore, "He hated James Potter, and certainly would never have looked after his son."

"Well, we've assume that Harry Potter is James Potter's son, indeed, everyone has, but it doesn't stop them being wrong…"

"Then who?" asked Lupin, playing Dumb, "Who could possible be Harry's Father? James loved that boy! And nobody else could possibly loved Lily has much as he did"

"I've already said, haven't I?" Moody Snapped, "Severus Snape."

"Severus Snape is Harry's father?" Lupin said, questioningly, "Do you even have any kind of idea what that man is like? A deatheater, a traitor!"

"And also with every possibility of having a son!" Moody interrupted, "Korrinna, I think you tell this part of the story best…"

"It seems to have been a little known fact that Snape was in love with Lily." Korrinna said, "But my associate Ingmarr found some interesting artifacts from their house in Goddric Hollow which had never been seen before; a letter from Lily to Snape, a couple of pictures of them together…no one thought anything of this until we found out that the only method Harry's magical signature could have been hidden was by a potion. A very difficult and very experimental potion…"

"Hidden? You can't hide magic…" Lupin choked out.

"Oh, but yes one can! Well, at least disguise it, can't you, Dumbledore?"

"Oh yes, with the Confutagi potion, one theoretically can. But it isn't effective enough to actually _rid_ someone of their magic…" Dumbleodre said dismissively.

"Oh, but even so…Korrinna here found records of you desiring more information on this potion, as produced by _Severus Snape_. The only person who knows how to make this potion. This fact plus what we know of Lily and Snape's past relationship…leads us to only one conclusion. It's true, though, the potion didn't work as you wanted and funding from yourself and the ministry quickly dried up… yet it seems the paper trail had led us to him. And, obviously, Snape has found a use for it; disappearing Harry Potter!"

"This is…insane, Moody, " Lupin snarled, "Absolute insanity! What kind of proof do you have for this, Moody?"

"I have no evidence for this next part, but I have a feeling, Lupin, that you will become very useful. You see, our _Mysterious Death eater_ was never meant to have been seen. Let me tell the story how it was meant to have been told; the boy goes missing, the muggle family, The Dursley's, don't report it, either out of fear or apathy, the school eventually notice that Harry's missing, but because of the nature of muggle services, it takes at least a week before anything of note happens. When they search the house, they find evidence of abuse; _bloodstains_ in the cupboard, _boy-shaped knocks_ in the pans, a clump of _hair and skin_ in the garden and _freshly dug_ boarders with large lumps in. Well, what other conclusion could one come to, especially with testimony from various school officials and neighbors about the boy being meek and mild and half-covered in cuts and bruises most of the time?

"The Dursley's are framed for the _one crime_ they did not commit against the boy and are punished with the full force of both muggle and magical law; indeed, even You-Know-Himself cannot punish a person like a society recoiling from the horror of hurting an innocent. An innocent who had defeated the greatest evil we have ever known? That punishment is piled upon punishment…I'll be surprised if Vernon Dursley makes it to Court in one piece, let alone alive…

This is where I need your help, Lupin, and this is where this story starts to go…interesting. Severus Snape takes his son from school, having seen how his muggle family have treated him and he was planning to appearing and disapeering without having been seen, but there was one problem. You see, this unexpected piece of testimony ruined a rather cunningly constructed plan; …" Moody waved his arm theatrically, "An unexpected witch!"

"So, who is this _unexpected witch_, then?" Sneered, Lupin, wheezing a little.

"Ahah! Right to the point!" moody congratulated him, "And part of the reason why you're here! There is another part of the Harry Potter mythology that has been accepted for so long; Lily and James are dead. Lily and James's bodies was never found, presumably taken by death eaters for their various rituals, or destroyed by the spell…but what if only James had died that night? I didn't come to the scene until much later, doing my best to control a deatheater party in Cambridge, hunting down muggles…but when I arrived things had been cleaned up; Harry had been taken away, Sirius Black had already made his move to kill Peter Pettigrew but whilst the place stank of death, I also…felt…that some change had taken place, a chance that I couldn't out my finger on. Now, you see, if I'd had access to werewolf, I would have been able to find some evidence at the time…but it seems that Hyacinth Smyth is hiding a secret. I got the same feeling around her as I'd had at that house, though, again, I couldn't place my finger – she was quite until any squib I'd met before, she felt as if there were some great power about her that was hiding…

"Even if there were proof of this, everything you've just said has been pure conjecture!" Lupin gasped, rubbing his neck, "No proof of this potion, no proof of Lily Evans!"

"Lily Evans? Not Lily Potter? Moody grinned horribly, "Now, this was a twist I wasn't expecting…_you knew?"_

Lupin fell to the floor, gasping for breath. His throat had swollen up, big purple boils scabbing up and down his neck, gently ozzing with pus.

"Oh Merlin….what's this…" Korrinna said, kneeling down to help him.

"It's a Fidius charm that's been broken" Moody said, "It looks like he's said something rather _revealing_ tonight."

"Well, what can we do to help him!" She hissed, watching Lupin choke and rasp for air, clawing at his own neck.

"Lupin, if we remove this Charm, we need you to tell us all you know; do you promise to do so?" Asked Moody.

Lupin looked at Moody for a second and managed to gasp, "Harry…keep Harry…safe…"

"Yes, we will, this is what this is all about..." Moody said, "Now, tell us, What you know…."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Hyacinth reached the end of Spinners lane, clutching the radio in her hands, holding it close as if it were a child and whispered, "Where next…."

"_Rows of houses, all bearing down on me_1," Fizzle, "_close to me__2__"_ fizzle,"_(oh, ah) just a little bit! (oh ah!) a little built more_!3"

They were at the end of the road, in view of the river that was being used as a dump and suddenly she felt as if she's forgotten why she was there at all.

"Where am I…" she whispered.

"_house was very small__4__" _bleeped the radio, and then seemed to die entirely. Hyacinth looked at the house, as if trying to focus on something which didn't exist, then…Hyacinth gripped the gate, paint peeling off under her fingers and saw the dark haired boy with the red-headed girl, holding hands, trudging through the thick snow together. As they reached the door, they turned to face each other, trying to delay the moment.

_"I suppose this is the part when I go home and you get a black eye for a Christmas present." The red-headed girl said bitterly._

_"Lily...don't be like that..." He groaned, "Today was...brilliant! It was strange and fantastic and utterly foreign, having a truly Merry Christmas. Can you thank your parents again, for me? For letting me come over?"_

_"Y__es, yes, definitely" She laughed, "it was nothing, really!"_

_"Can you thank your mum__ again for the..." He tugged at the grey and green wool scarf at his neck. _

_The girl laughed, despite herself. "Yes! I will!" She was quiet for a moment, as if trying to work out the words, and then said, "Please, Sev, try to keep safe. I don't want you to have to go back to that man...you don't deserve this..."_

_He sighed. "It's not a matter of what I deserve or not, it's a matter of what I have to do. I can't leave my mum. You must understand that."_

_The girl looked down at her feet. The boy tried to pull her close, but she didn't move. _

_The boy would have said something, but in that moment the door burst open and an older man spilled out, hanging off the door for support. The man, even to look at, was vile. __She refused to allow herself to see any resemblance between him and the boy at the door; the man was short and squat, with a large beer belly and big, clumsy hands, his nose turned red from the abuse of various substances and his face lined with the lines of a hard life, self inflicted or otherwise. He might have been handsome fifteen years ago, but certainly not now, with his black greasy hair thinning and sneering mouth with it's yellow, uneven teeth. And right now he was sneering at the teenagers standing before him._

_"Nice for you to grace us with your presence, Severus..." the man drawled, his Manchurian accent thick and almost unintelligible with his slowed tongue, "You ready to come back to your family for Christmas? Your mum's been making us wait..."_

_"I told her not to!" The boy said, his voice suddenly falling into a similar drawl, "I told her dad, that I won't be around for a bit today..."_

_"Ha, a bit! Five hours! Didn't fancy sticking around, since I lost my job at Grunnings__5__, right boy? Wanted to spend it as some posh bint's house, right?" The man suddenly turned to the red-head, and grabbed her wrist. "What's your name, Missie?"_

_"L...Lily Evans..." She answered, turning her head away._

_"Evans...I know your dad!" He sneered, "Lost my Job because of him! The fuckin' southerner fired me and half the factory! Severus! Is this the company you keep? A fucking Thatcherite__6__, and a witch to boot! I'm not sure which I'm more disappointed about..."_

_"Let go of her!" The boy hissed, a dark shadow crossing his face as he pulled out his wand, "Let go of her, or I won't be held responsible for what happens..."_

"_Oh, she's quite a looker, isn't she…" Tobias said, holding her by the chin and examining her like a horse._

"_Sectumsempr…"the word slipped out with far too great an ease, but he stopped himself just in time._

_"Hahaha, makin' threats, Severus boy! I know you won't do nothin' to me...or you'll get kicked out of that school of yours! How many times you been caught out, now? Five? One more and they'll kick you straight out...no, I want to have some fun..."_

_The red-head squirmed as the older man pulled at her wrist, pulling her up towards his horrible face, his breath rancid and almost pickled with alcohol.__ "You know, your father cut us off with only a week's wages, a weeks wages are nothin'! But I want to pay him back for it..." He kept on pulling her closer, grinding his crouch into her, forcing her to feel it as she was unable to scramble out of his grip when he suddenly let out a yelp, letting her go for long enough to get away._

_As he fell, she saw the Boy behind him holding a length of wood, having just swung it into his legs. "I told you not to touch her!" he shouted. The man tried to take a swing at h__im, but the boy dodged his blow easily and hit him across the chest with the plank. "Go on! You want to fuckin' try something? I can't use magic, but I can do far more painful things! You touch her again, and I'll fuck you up so bad, people'll think you pissed off the Provos__7__!" _

_"Severus...stop!" The red head screamed._

_"No!" He shouted, his eyes suddenly burning with pure retribution, "he went too far this time!"_

_"Severus!" called another woman's voice. A frail, angular woman stood just at the side of the house, long black hair a tangled mess, dressed in what might have once been a fine black velvet robe, but now was a tattered mess__, clutching a slight battered radio to her chest, just like the one hyacinth held, as if it were her child. She looked as if she were about to cry. "Severus...don't..."_

_"Mum!" He dropped the plank of wood._

_"Leave Tobias alone! He's just...upset...yes...you shouldn't have left the house like that..."_

_"Mum, he wasn't even awake! I asked you, I asked you if I could go!" The boy protested._

_"Severus, we were meant to have a happy family Christmas...I've been waiting for you...to open the presents..."_

_"Mum...please...Don't..."_

_"It's all ruined now. It's all ruined..." The woman wandered off, as if in a dream state and re-entered the house by a side door hidden behind a bush._

_The boy didn't know whether he was meant to follow her, or to cry. Instead he fell back into the snow and sat there, devastated. The girl tried to comfort him, but he batted her away, saying, "I'm sorry Lily...I'm sorry you ever had to see anything like this..."_

_"Sev, it isn't your fault.."_

_"...It doesn't matter..." the boy said sadly, "...you shouldn't ever have to see anything like this..."_

Hyacinth, back in the present, looked at the radio in her hands which crackled with excitement. "Is this what you wanted to show me?" She asked, feeling a little silly talking to an inanimate object. Silence. "Is Harry here?"

"…_.__Somehow the vital connection is made_8"replied the radio.

"No need to be sarcastic." Hyacinth replied, throwing the radio into the front garden next door.

"…_And I just hope that you can forgive us, But everything must go…__9__"_ the radio played, but hyacinth ignored it and following the house around to the side, found the side-door that the woman must have come through, however many years ago. It opened with a surprisingly easy click. She slipped inside the house, listening to what was happening.

"I just need to go and check on a potion for a moment..." said a male voice, "You finish adding the copper sulphate, and then we'll see what we need to do next!"

"Okay dad!" said Harry Potter's voice.

Hyacinth heard steps on the stairs and hid behind the sofa, watching as a tall, dark haired man dressed in black robes flowed down the stairs. She cowered further down. It was him! The man from the school! She's know that face anywhere! That thin face with the intense black eyes...she also recognized in that boy. She was confused; how could that boy, and this man be the same person? She knew he was a deatheater, she knew that she'd seen his Dark mark at some point, but wasn't sure if the man who'd cursed her repeatedly before dumping her in the countryside, or another. Why was she remembering these things? Maybe he's placed a curse on her before he had disappeared.

And now he had Harry and was trying to curse him! When he was safely down in the basement, she rushed up the stairs. "Harry..." she called out, "Harry...where are you?"

"Miss?" She saw the little boy she'd seen in the park standing on the stairs, a wide smile crossing his face. "Miss! It's really you!" He ran towards her, and hugged her hard. "I've missed you...."

She hugged him back hard. He was here. He was safe. Now just to get him away. She grabbed his hand and said "Harry, we've got to go..."

"No! You haven't met my dad yet!" He said, tugging her back "My dad's really nice...I think you'd like him..."

"There's no time...we have to go!" She insisted, "Harry, I love you, you'll never have to go back to the Dursley's, but loads of people are worried about you and want to know if you're safe. We have to let them know you are..."

"No one's ever worried about me, except you and dad!" He said, "Please stay here...please meet him...he's a nice man. I want to stay with him..."

"Harry...c'mon..."

She grabbed the boy and started to walk towards the door when she heard a voice say, "What's going on here..."

"Dad!" Cried Harry, wriggling out of her grip and running towards the man.

Hyacinth spun around. The man stood, holding Harry's arm with one and holding his wand straight at her with the other. He scanned her face, examining her for a moment, when she saw his whole body go limp, his eyes widening, wand-arm falling and his jaw dropping open in amazement.

XXXX

"It's not working," Korrinna said, "It's a very complex charm, far above my abilities to solve…"

"Dammit…Lupin might die at this rate!" Moody said, banging his fist on the desk.

"Moody, I do wonder why you haven't asked for my help so far." Smiled Dumbledore with…was it amusement?

"I haven't asked for your help because….Oh by the sixty knees of Delia the Delirious…help us!"

Dumbledore swished his wand with a slightly flamboyant flourish and Lupin coughed loudly, but his throat opened up and the boils began to shrink.

Before the werewolf even had a chance to recover, Korrinna had placed him in a bind and demanded, "Where is Harry?"

"Harry…Harry,….is with Snape, just as Moody said, he's with Snape…but…but…"

"And Lily Evans…you know something about Lily Evans, don't you?" Moody growled.

"I…I don't…but I thought….I smelt her…."

"Lupin! You saw a woman today, who was looking for something, didn't you? She would be about five foot seven, brown hair, grey eyes…."

Lupin said nothing; he didn't have to. His eyes said it all. Moody stared at Dumbledore with his unreadable, faintly foolish expression and suddenly snapped. "YOU KNEW!" Moody shouted, "OH MERLIN, YOU _knew_!"

XXXXXX

"Lily..." Severus whispered, "Oh, by Merlin and Sazlar Slytherin, Lily...you're still..."

"Who's Lily." She asked, staring at him.

"Lily!" He repeatedly, like a broken record, "Oh...Goderic Gryfinndor! You're alive!"

"Who...are you...." She tried to say.

"Harry...you're going to Remus now." Severus said, and pointing the wand at Harry before he could complain, whispered, "_peto_ **_incolumitas_**_**"**_

Harry instantly disappeared. Hyacinth's eyes opened wide in anger. "_WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!"_ she screamed.

"Lily…calm down…we've got to…"

Hyacinth cut Severus off before he could finish his sentence. She grabbed him by the shoulders and pushing him into the wall of the living room, yelled, "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?"

Severus pushed her off him, struggling against her and pulled out his wand, "Lily, you've got to…"

Hyacinth, scared and confused, threw a punch towards the man, who dodged it with practiced ease. "Where is he!? She hissed, "Where's Harry?"

"He's safe." Severus said, grabbing her arms, "He's perfectly safe…"She looked into his deep, dark eyes and he said, "what have they done to you…."

Hyacinth felt something stir within her, but looked away. It was too painful. She felt her legs give in a little, making her stumble a little, but even her weak struggle allowed her to escape his grip and with an animal sound twisted her arm around and elbowed him in the chest, winding him more from shock than from pain. He dropped his wand, and before he knew it, she'd picked it up. He strode forward and pushed her into the Kitchen, but she managed to move out of his way and he fell straight into the walls, pots and pans falling from the flimsy cupboards. She took this moment to pin him to the wall, holding his own wand to his throat, snarling, "I've got you now, you deatheater scum! I don't know what you think you were doing, but I'm going to make you pay…"

Severus, finding the situation so surreal, started to laugh.

"What!" She shouted, "What're you laughing at!"

"I…_saved_…him" He laughed, though his heart ached like a stone, "I…_saved_ him from those muggles, saved him for _you_ and…you're threatening to kill me…hahahaha… and you aren't even holding that wand the right way around!"

Hyacinth wanted to hurt him, more than she'd ever hurt anyone in her life. "You stole Harry! You stole the last thing left of…"she stopped, words clamming up in her mouth, "….what about him!…What happened to that boy?"

"Harry…he's safe…"

"No! The one who used to live here!" She shouted, "Did you kill him too? A redhead and a boy who used to live here…did you kill them too?"

"Oh _God."_ It had been a while since Severus had blasphemed like his father, but he did now. "Lily…that was you and me…don't you…."

"No!" She said quietly.

"Lily…that _was_ us, _is_ us…"

"NO!" She said, louder, as if trying to scare away the thought.

"This is difficult, but _we_ have a son…"

Lily moved away, clutching her hands to her head, "No, it can't be…I'm not…Lily…"

"Please, listen to me…I don't know what you saw, but we used to be together, we loved each other…" He held out his arms towards her, but she pushed him away.

"GO AWAY! THIS ISN'T REAL!" She shouted, and held out his wand again, "_**Sectumsempra!"**_

The words hung in the air, for just a second. Severus had been right; she had been holding the wand the wrong way around. The first slash hit her chest, barely skin deep, but cut the t-shirt she was wearing. The second slash was to her shoulder, which bled quicker, but still was superficial. However, the third cut into her neck, cutting a vein which bled quickly, drenching her shirt.

Hyacinth stared forward, just for a second, before staggering back, pushing away the fallen metal pans and collapsed against the wall. The blood seeped down her shirt, her head lolling back as if she were a fallen doll, fingers curling open and the wand rolling out of them.

"Lily…" He said, kneeing down, "Lily…"

Suddenly her hair suddenly started seeping red, her own golden crimson colour appearing, bleeding through, her once grey eyes suddenly flashing green and staying that way. Her face changed imperceptivity, but it changed and in that moment, Lily cried out in pain.

"Lily…don't speak…We need to…"

"Se…ver…us." She choked out, starting to cry, "Oh…Severus…you're here…."

He grabbed her face, and touched it, as if to see if it were real. "Lily…why did we have to meet like this…"

"Severus…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"She sobbed, "it's not your fault…" she lifted her hand and grabbed onto his sleeve.

"Lily…no…"

"You're really here?" She smiled, a terrible smile of sadness and love, "I'm sorry…"

"Lily, I'm going to save you, if it's the last thing I do!" He said, holding her close, her body warmth slowly dissipating.

"It's funny…" She giggled, "I…understand…everything…now…"

XXXXXXX

Hmm, I'm not happy with the end of this, but I'm also not allowing myself any more heartache over it for now.

Enjoy the action! Next Chapter is a talkie!

1 Street Spirit, (fade out) Radio head, swear song is contemporary!

2 Close to me, The Cure

3 Just a little bit, Gina G, British Eurovision Song Entry.

4 Disco 2000, Pulp

5 I though Severus' Dad working making drills for the same company Vernon Dursley later works at would be amusing. And Mr Evans as well. There's a whole lot of extra backstory here I need to drop in later.

6 Thatcher, British Prime Minister who single-handedly destroyed Liverpool's economy and pretty much every industrial town in the 80s. She didn't make any friends doing so, to be honest, that's pretty much her legacy in England, that and getting rid of free school milk. If you want to know more, wikipedia should fill you in. If you want to know more without having to read as much, then watch Billy Elliot.

7 _(Slang for the IRA, an irish political terrorist group which would have been contemporary within my timeline, who were known for their violent methods. Also, according to various people i've talked to, they were also known for shattering kneecaps of both enemies and people within the organisation who broke various rules. Though Liverpool had a larger Irish immigrant community, at one point in England political history seeing a man who walked funny because his knee-caps were broken, the assumption would be made he'd got himself involved in IRA business. 'Provos' is also the term used at some Oxford colleges for the college master, but this is entirely unrelated, though when one changes the meaning to this, it makes me giggle.)_

8 Elastica, Connection.

9 Everything must go, manic street preachers.


	12. Uneasiness

Chapter 12 – Uneasiness

Woah – this chapter is about 8000 words, so, well…quiet a bit to take in!

It's a bit talky, but I rather like it in an odd way. I'm one of those rare people who isn't completely anti-Dursley. Like, what they did is unforgivable, but at the same time, I always thought that they needed expanding on, a bit more time than Rolling gave them time for. I just think that when an author says "This character is totally evil" they can't possibly mean it. As in, Vernon Dursley wouldn't have been born to abuse Harry in the real world, something which often seems forgotton.

Oh yes! There's a bit of smut at the end of this chapter, but I'm going to put in a break so if you don't want to read it, you can skip it easily. Sorry I haven't got much to say here; I'm struggling with the next chapter.

XXXXXXXX

_Limb by limb and tooth by tooth  
Tearing up inside of me.  
Everyday, everyhour, wish that I was..  
Was bullet proof_

Bullet Proof… I wish I was - Radiohead

XXXXXXXX

"_He was obeyed, yet he inspired neither love nor fear, nor even respect. He inspired __**uneasiness**__. That was it!__"_

Joseph Conrad

XXXXXX

Five hours later, the house was overrun by interfering idiots, or so Severus thought. They had all piled into his bedroom, well, the master bedroom, where he had placed Lily on the ill-used double bed. Moody sat in a comfortable chair whilst three young idiots, apparently his apprentice Aurors, attempted various spells on him, with one rather annoying sandy haired one who seemed to be in awe of Snape attempting to strike up awkward conversation at the worst moments.

Dumbledore had placed himself on the bed, offering advice to Severus every five seconds whilst Lupin seemed to have decided to be on tea-duty, feeding everyone chocolate bars and cups of tea before they'd finished their last ones. Whilst Moody and Dumbledore seemed to appreciate this treatment, Snape did not and repeatedly snapped at Lupin, his already frayed nerves in tatters from the events of the day and the people filling the small room. Harry, however, was being rather…odd, even by his standards. He hid in the corner, legs pulled up to his chest, sitting behind Dumbledore.

Severus wished he had more time to talk to the boy, help explain what was going on…nobody seemed to have explained anything to him yet. But Snape had decided that his main duty right now was making sure that Lily came through this as unscathed as possible. The potion itself was rather unstable, but he's had time to come up with theories why the past potions hadn't worked; Dandelion milk – it counteracted the regeneration elements of the potion and far more effectively than the poisonous nightshade he'd added instead, but it seemed to poison the motor neurons in a way that he count counteract better with the nightshade…that and a few other issues, but he was quiet please with himself for working out that puzzle…but he had far greater things on his mind than this at the moment.

"C'mon Lily…just a little more.." He coaxed the unconscious woman.

"It might work better if you used a pipette..." Suggested the Sandy haired young man.

"Will you go away please!" Snape snapped, "It will take too long to get sufficient replenisher in her if I do that! Aren't you meant to be fixing up that mess of a potion you used on Moody?"

"Well, excuse me, but I was following your recipe!" Aonghuis huffed.

"Go away before I do something which is deserving of being arrested." Severus snapped again, seeing that Lupin was offering everyone yet another pot of tea.

As the potion slowly trickled down her neck, he touched her chin and when he thought noone was looking, stroked her neck, feeling the potion being swallowed by the gentlest movement of her Adam's apple. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her close and kiss her all over, tell her he'd never, never, never let anything like this happen again, never allow her, or Harry to ever feel any pain or hurt again, that he'd take it all and he would still stand tall, feeling his face numb over as he thought these thoughts, _I will love you and Harry, even if you hate me, throw me away…I can't help it..._

He stood up and grabbed a hold of Lupin's jacket, pulling the werewolf outside the room. "Hey! I was just pouring out for that nice female Auror…" he protested.

"…you haven't been keeping an eye on Harry!" Severus hissed.

"Excuse me, his mother's come back from what we presumed to be the dead, and you expect me to act rationally?" Lupin growled, "We're both probably going to be thrown into Askaban, and you're chastising me for poor conduct regarding Harry?"

"He hasn't touched the last three cups of tea you brought up!" Severus replied, "I thought that might be a hint that the last thing he needs right now are more fluids…"

"…He's in as much shock as you and I!" Lupin said, "One minutes he's alone and abused at the Dursleys, the next thing he knows he's got a dad, then an uncle, then BAM! His previously dead mother is simply dangerously ill! I can't blame him for being a little withdrawn! It's not as if you've been very comforting either…"

"I've been looking after the previous mentioned dangerous ill mother!" Snape replied, with a pang of guilt. He sighed. "I'm going to check how the brew is doing…can you please talk to Harry…"

"I'll try…" Lupin said, "but I want to go sit outside for a moment…it's weird seeing Lily…still alive…in a way…"

Snape nodded, understanding how the wolf felt.

Inside the room, Dumbledore turned around to the little boy in the corner and said, "Hello Harry…do you want to come sit with me?"

Harry nodded, gripping his dragon close to his chest. He sat on the edge of the bed, and snuggled up into the man's large purple robes. Dumbledore put an arm around the child and said, "Do you know who that is?"

"It's my mum." Harry said icily, "She's very sick."

"Yes, that's right. She's very sick, but she's getting better. She's getting better for you, Harry."

"Why is she even so sick?" Asked Harry, "Why was she and Dad arguing?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Sometimes adults…are as silly as children. Sometimes they don't want to be friends any more and even later on in life, when it's all over, they still can't be friends…"

"But daddy still…"

"Harry, I'm giving you warning; your Mother may not feel the same about your father. And that isn't her fault. It isn't his fault, either, but they both still love _you_ dearly. Do you understand?"

"Yes" Harry lied.

"Good boy…chocolate frog?" asked Dumbledore, proffering the aforementioned sweet.

Harry shook his head. "I feel sick."

"Well…just take it for now…" Dumbledore said.

Harry looked at the frog for a moment, and putting it to one side asked, "Are you Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore was silent. "You've heard of me?" He asked in mock surprise.

"Yes. Uncle Remus got a letter from you. Was it to bring Mum back?" He asked.

"…it resulted in that, yes." Dumbledore replied.

They were both silent for a moment. "Will she be okay?" Asked Harry timidly.

Dumbledore hugged the child closer. "Yes." He lied in the same tone Harry had.

Meanwhile, Moody had found a couple of sticks to use as make-shift crutches and was waiting outside the room, waiting for Snape. Snape initially ignored him, but Moody obstructed his way, with one of the supports and said, "We need to talk."

"Can this wait?" Asked Snape.

"No, not really. I don't know what you think you're doing, but you're not going to nurse her back into loving you, you know."

Snape was silent. "How is this important now?" Asked Snape, a little dumbfounded.

"I've seen the way you look at her. The way you touch her…very professional, but ever-so-slightly…_intimate_. She won't have forgotten everything. She might have forgotten herself, but she certainly won't have forgotten the things you've done to her…"

"Look, Moody…"

"No. You look. You are responsible for the death of her husband. The cursing of her child. You…kidnapped her child for Merlin's sake!"

"I did it…"

"…for the best, I know. But even so…you're a deatheater. Do you know what deatheaters did to their female captives? We found more records…there are muggle support groups all over the country; near where they attacked…they would do anything to them. Anything they'd never do to what they considered a real, legitimate person. And you see that tattoo on your arm, which shows now? People who bore that mark _hurt_ women in a way that I can't even bring myself to mention. They hurt men to, but mainly women. Lily was in one of those support groups…she remembers bits and piece of that night…I saw them in her mind…people like _you_ raped muggles for your own pleasure…"

"No, not me." Snape hissed, "I never touched another person…"

"Well, even so, I wouldn't go expecting her to forgive you just like that. Whatever _they_ did to her wasn't nice."

"What were you doing poking around in her mind, anyway!" Snape growled, "What gave you the right to look into another's mind…"

"Auror laws, and the need to save your son!" Moody replied, "You're a cunning, sneaky one; I didn't suspect until I saw _your_ face in her mind…she couldn't bring herself to admit it was you, either."

"I brewed this potion…" Snape said, changing the subject, "It should counteract the Dandelion Milk in your last concoction. I can't promise full use of your legs back, but it should restore some of it." He shoved the goblet into Moody's hand and leaving the other bottles next to him said, "Give them to her yourself!" and stormed off, outside.

Moody watched him go, and after performing a quick poison check, downed the potion. _Can't stand the heat of reality, can you, Snapey boy?_ He thought to himself.

The werewolf walked up the stairs and said, "Why does Snape look like he's about to commit genocide1?"

"He's throwing a hissy fit because I told him some home truths." Moody answered, "Now, pick up those bottles for me, boy."

XXXXXXXXX

Lily dreamed. She felt a strange, new buzzing in her head, trying to understand what had happened…her mind was like a damn breaking, thought and worries and neurosis she never knew she had suddenly surfacing, drifting around, part of her, yet somehow separate for now…

_Lily Evans. Lily Potter. Hyacinth Smyth…all these names, all these meanings and emotions attached. She was only one of them. She was all three. All the memories of three in herself, yet also none of them. Like a ship adrift in a storm she was half terrified of being brought under, half exhilarated by not being guided by a rudder, wondering what the next adventure was. _

_Her son….was alive…her lover…was alive…her husband…he was dead, she remembered that now. James had died, trying to save them. Trying to save herself and her son. He hadn't cared that Harry was Severus' son, in the end, as far as he was concerned, that child was his…he'd even tried to place a glamour on the boy so strong that he was more James Potter than anyone else…_

…_her Sister…Oh, sweet Jesus…the blasphemy was worth it, her sister…Lily loved her sister, and for the best part of a year had stood by and watched her sister hurt her child…hurt Harry…Oh God, she's allowed her sister to lay even a single hand on her child…Why had Petunia done such a thing? Lily couldn't understand…_

_And what about Severus?…He'd been there when she first felt herself swimming back towards life; He had held her in his arms, those familiar, warm arms, whispering to her, asking her to come back…but…where was she when she'd been captured before? Where was he when she needed him? More importantly, why was he the only one who'd rescued her son? _

_None of this made any real sense at the moment. She remembered not remembering, five years of constantly being incredibly unhappy and sad, but never being able to say why, never being able to pinpoint where the heartache came from…no matter how anyone had loved her, no matter how much she achieved…she was missing…something. Lily wasn't even sure she knew what it was now, but somehow things were tighter, as if the answer was a strung out garment that just needed to be pulled back together. _

Lily opened her eyes. The word was unfocused, but slowly she acclimatised to the light. The first persons she saw was Moody…she sank back a little, disappointed.

He grinned at her. "Welcome back, Lily."

She moaned. "Where's Sever…"

"Mum?" Asked a little voice.

Lily turned her head slightly to see a little boy sitting by her on the bed, with long dark hair and bright green eyes, like looking into a mirror. She sat up, and scopped him into her arms shouting, "HARRY!"

Lily held him close, held him as close to her as she could, feeling him holding her back, after a second's hesitation, and began kissing his head, "Oh Harry…Oh Harry…I'll never leave you again!" She said, "Harry…I love you, love love love you!" She held the boy so tight, as if expecting him to disappear any second and kissed him again.

Harry hugged back and said, "M…um….Mum…you're real…" before bursting out into tears. Lily held the blubbing boy and felt the love whell up in her chest, so glad, so happy…

She heard another person crying in the room was well. Stroking harry's head she looked up. She saw Remus Lupin, looking far tireder and iller than ever before, wearing a tatty brown suit and a t-shirt….crying for joy. "Remus!" She gasped, "Oh, you're stil…"

Remus said nothing. He swept over, driving onto the bed and hugged her as well, hugging them all together.

XXXXXX

Outside Severus sweltered in the heat. He sat in what might have been described by an estate agent as a "garden", but by most people would be called a paved over, weed-ridden space at the back of the house.

He held his head in his hands, his eyes stinging, trying to hold back everything he could. He had to stay strong. He couldn't be seen to be weak, not right now…but he didn't want to be strong. He wanted his own patch of darkness to wallow in right now. He didn't _want_ to have to be mature and understanding, he wanted to sink or swim, to be loved or allowed to self destruct…but no. He had Harry to worry about. No time for him to be in pain. He had to stay strong, for Harry, he couldn't let a little thing like love make him quake.

Oh, by Ravenclaw, how he just wanted to cry! He felt burning hot, acid tears escape his eyelids, as much as he fought them back with his aching throat. He felt himself shaking as if he had a fever, trying to fight back those blasted tears that ran down his face. He was glad that his face was covered with his long, thin fingers, hiding his face from the world. He physically shook from the sobs he kept within himself, hoping no one would notice….

"Excuse me, but is this yours?" Asked a female voice.

Severus looked up. It was that girl from the toyshop…holding a radio in her hands.

"It's been playing 'Ride a White swan' on repeat…well, when it hasn't been playing 'Hounds of love2'…." The girl explained, "It's weird, it must be tuned into the strangest pirate radio station…"

Snape blinked away tears, surreptitiously wiping his face ion his sleeve before looking up. The radio, though slightly beaten up, looked just like the one Lupin had placed in the Kitchen. His mother had bought a pair or radios as Christmas presents a few years ago; one for his father and one for Severus, but Tobias Snape had taken his one with him when he left…the radio itself looked a little sorry for itself, but bleeped, "_Catch a bright star and place it on your fore-head, say a few spells and baby there you go…"_

Severus wasn't entirely sure why, but considering it was a radio that was playing a song that Lily loved over and over again on repeat, he felt only slightly as if he were lying when he said "Yes, that's mine. Sorry, must have dropped it…"

The girl handed it over the fence and smiled at him. "Cheer up, it might never happen…"

"What….oh" he realised that her comment was based on his current expression of resigned misery. "Oh…yes…"

"Oh yes…have you seen a brown haired girl walking around here on your travels? Dresses a bit like the girl from 'Annie Hall'?" She asked, "She's meant to visit me today…"

Severus genuinely had no idea for a second, and then realised that she must have meant Lily…or rather, the person Lily had become to hide…oh dear. He probably ought to tell Moody. "No….but I'll let you know if I do." And promptly walked inside.

He was met by Moody, sitting at the kitchen table, drinking yet another cup of tea, a copy of the Daily Prophet placed strategically under the cup.

"How is she…" Severus asked.

"She's exhausted." Moody said, gulping down what must have been his twelfth cup of tea, "I've sent my assistants home for now; Dumbledore and Remus said they'd stay to look after Harry...though he's sleeping with his mother right now."

"Thank you." Said Snape. "So, how long do we have until you report us?"

"Us?"

"Myself and Lupin. Though perhaps Lily too...."

Moody grimaced. "Until Lily is better. If you try a disappearing act, I will hunt you down, just so you know."

"With you leg as it is?" Asked Snape.

"I'll beat you to death with it." Moody replied savagely.

They were quiet for a moment. Moody looked around and asked, "Why do you have another radio? You already have one in the kitchen!"

"It's...a long story." Severus replied.

"Fair enough." Moody snorted.

"I'm...going to leave some more replenisher by the bed." said Snape, "She needs to keep her strength up for now."

"You still love, her, don't you?" Asked Moody.

"Why do you ask?" replied Severus icily.

"I can see it in you. I've seen you with Harry. You warm up. You're a cold bastard usually, but when you're around them, you warm up...I've never seen anyone turn so quickly, save Lucius Malfoy, when trying to save his skin."

"Thank you for the comparison." Severus deadpanned.

"Don't expect her to forgive you. I know I wouldn't." Moody said, "But...in some ways, you're far nobler than I thought you would be."

"Noble? Me." Snape mused

"You risked Prison to save your Son. You risked failure to save Lily. That's pretty noble. But perhaps it's different with Family…

"What are you implying…"

"I don't agree with you framing the Dursley's." Moody said straight out, "I know how these things work out...it was an easy way out. And as all easy way outs tend to go, it will come back and bite you on the arse."

"They deserve it for what they did." Severus said, eyes narrowing.

"No they didn't. They were cruel and heartless, but you can't pay them back in cruelty and heartlessness. It doesn't work like that..."

"You have no idea, do you?" said Severus, "You get out of your life what goes into it. It doesn't matter what your intentions are, if you are cruel, you must expect cruelty. I learnt that lesson very early on in life; if you try and be kind to those who won't accept it, you're wasting your time. What are we supposed to do? Give the Dursley's a slap on the wrist and send them on with their merry life, having locked a child up in a cupboard and starved him for days on end? He still cries at night, he can't stand to be in the dark because of it! Should I have let them be, seeing them spoil their pig of a son whilst Harry, my Harry...Lily's son, is forced to nurse a burnt hand from cooking at a stove he isn't even tall enough to reach? How could I possibly stand by, allowing them to feel no consequence of their actions when Harry will most likely carry the consequences of their actions for the rest of his life? No; the evidence was already there, waiting for someone to care about him...and it seems that only I cared about him enough to do anything about it."

"Harry was taken so quickly from the wizarding world; no one knew what was going on...if we had known..."

"Well, it's a bit late for that!" Severus Snapped, "Should I have informed the officials, waited and waited until someone decided to check, and wait and wait until the Dursley's slipped up enough for it to be noticed, then seen them get away with it because they were able to plead some thin excuse to a court who doesn't care? No! I couldn't do that!"

"Instead you will ruin three people's life!" Moody spat, "Do you realize that Vernon Dursley will never be able to get work again? That Petunia Dursley will most likely never see her son again? That their son, as spoilt as he is, will never see his perfectly loving parents because of you?"

"It's better than they deserved for what they did." He spat, "They deserve to be hanged!"

"Then you'll be happy to see that at least Vernon Dursley agreed with you." Moody replied. He held up a copy of the Daily Phrophet, with a picture of Vernon Dursley's angry face, with the headline, "Potter Murderer Hangs Self."

Severus was taken aback. "I never though he'd have the guts..." He steeled himself and said, "Don't breath a word of this to Lily...not for now..."

"Of course not. I just wanted you to be aware that there are consequences for your actions..."

Severus poured the replenisher into the goblet and after staring at Moody for just a second, went upstairs. The death of Vernon Dursley hung rather heavy on his conscious. The man was an animal, a monster and deserved death...he took the coward's way out, killing himself before trial, but even so...it was still Severus' fault. Another death that could be related to him. He hadn't read the article...he didn't want to. He didn't want to know anything about how the man was found, or how the public viewed him. The man deserved death...but for him to actually die? Severus was surprised by the blow it had struck him. Perhaps he hadn't thought Dursley capable of such an act?

He entered the room, and saw Harry curled up with Lily, both asleep. He smiled. It was so...perfect. He had almost forgotten how much Harry looked like Lily without the glamour on him; pre-removal, he was a James clone and now...he'd inherited Lily's pale but warm skin. He'd inherited her eyes, their shape and eyelashes. He'd inherited her ears...smallish, but with a habit of poking through the hair and looking almost like pixie ears; he remembered teasing Lily about that when they were younger, making her paranoid enough to keep her hair long, but enjoying the way they peaked through the hair. Harry had perhaps inherited Snape's worst features, but felt that he might grow up to be rather handsome, with his mother's side so strong in him. Lily kept a gentle hand clasped over her son, holding him close to her, her face placid and peaceful.

It was as if the world was how it ought to be. But, of course, Severus had no place in this world. He placed the goblet on the stand next to the bed and stared at them for a moment, reluctant to move. He had to steel himself for the inevitable end; he would be arrested, taken to Azkaban and have Harry and Lily come to loath him when they discovered what he had done...even though this thought filled him with sadness, he knew that he'd be able to live like that...just knowing that they were alive and well. It certainly couldn't be any worse than the last five years, thinking that Lily was dead and hoping, rather than knowing, that Harry was becoming some spoilt Prince. He gently stroked a strand of hair out of Lily's face and whispered, "I'm sorry I'm not the man who could be worthy of you." He lent over and kissed her on the cheek, a goodbye kiss and left quietly, shutting the door behind him.

Lily stirred just as the door closed and mumbled, "Severus..." She reached out for him, but found nothing. Still half asleep, she pouted slightly and fell back asleep again.

XXXXXXXXXXX

When Lily came to again, it was to the sound of Remus opening the door with his foot, balancing a tray of food in his hands. "How're you feeling, Lily?" He asked.

"Like death warmed up." She joked.

"Is Harry…" The two adults looked at the little ball curled up under the blankets. Lily nodded.

"Lily…" Remus placed the food on the bedside table, taking care not to knock the goblet already there, and hugged her. She hugged back, joyfully.

"Remus…this is so odd…"

"Lily….where the heck did you come from?" Asked Remus.

"I…I remember Volder….You-Know-Who…and a flash of light, and pain, lots of pain and crying…and then I remember Cambridge and not remembering…" Lily visibly winced. "Where am I?"

"Snape's house." He replied.

"Severus…where is he…"

"I think he's hiding." Said Remus, suddenly serious, "I can't image that you're very happy with him right now…"

"Typical." She spat, "Always the way to solve a problem; run away from it, or do things superciliously…is that something he brewed on the side?" Remus would have answered, but she grabbed the goblet and drained it before he could say anything, finishing with a cough and a dry-reach. "No sugar…renders it useless…" She said with a wiry grin. "Though someone must have found a way around that by now…"

"I don't tend to keep up with the potion's journals." Remus replied.

"So…I mean, I remember the last five years, but it's strange – like they're behind a piece of glass, looking out through someone else's eyes…but I guess things have changed more in the Wizard world than they have in the muggle and squib."

"Hmm, in some ways. Werewolves are still mistrusted, the ministry has had yet another re-shuffle, moving people away from misuse of muggle artefacts and more into department of mysteries…God knows why."

"Does that horrible frog-woman work there?" Asked Lily.

"Dolories Umbridge? Oh yes…though I think they managed to fob her off with some kind of Auror Superintendent job…" Remus laughed.

Lily laughed too. "Hopefully she can't do too much damage there!"

"We've all hoped that!"

"Oh dear…and Hogwarts…"

"Still under Dumbledore, thank Merlin." Remus said, "I'm sure someone must have mentioned it to you…but it's still pretty much outside Ministry control…"

"Ha, if the ministry had their way, wizard education would go the same way as Muggle education – ticking boxes and sitting in little rows without ever _touching_ a wand…" Lily sighed, and stretched out a hand, "I'm back…I'm really back. I feel like a popped sausage in reverse; like I've been put back into my skin…."

Remus laughed, "You look more like an uncooked chicken from here!"

Lily giggled and went to hit Remus playfully, slapping his hand gently. They both giggled constrainedly until Lily folded her hands and said, "Why won't he see me?"

"Who…."

"Sev, of course. I mean, in the Kitchen…he was so desperate to speak to me, sort things out and now…apart from mysterious potions turning up, I see hide nor hair of him."

"I dunno…he spent the best part of last night keeping an eye on you…feeding you potions every hour…"Remus said, "maybe we just fell asleep or something…"

"Remus, you're lying. I know you are. "said Lily, "He _should_ be here. He should_ want_ to talk to me."

"Well, did you ever think that perhaps he shouldn't?" Remus said, kindly.

"What do you mean? Regardless of everything else that's happened, he's Harry's father.."

"No, no, I don't mean like that. I mean…Lily, the man became a deatheater. He had his reasons, but he still was prepared to take allegiance with them. He took Harry from school in such a way that if you…Miss Smyth… hadn't seen him, would have lead to your sister being dragged through the courts…he's still a mess, Lily. Remember Lily…we all grew up, got over our childish prejudices…he never did. We all moved on with our lives…but he stayed here, in this dreary little house, not changing a thing."

Lily was silent for a second, stroking Harry's head. "He's had enough reason to change this place." She said. "He used to talk about change all the time, with me. Moving away, new spell, new techniques… he even started his potions business when he was fifteen…does he still run it?"

"Run it?" scoffed Lupin, "He hasn't changed the prices!"

Lily, again, was taken a bit aback. She put a head in her hand and winced, saying, "He's an idiot. Why, why, why do I always fall for idiots?"

"You told James once that you had a thing for lost causes." Remus said, a little bit harshly.

"I did love James, you know." Lily added, "Remus, I know you don't believe me, but I _did_ love James. He could also be a vile idiot at times; you know what he was like, even more than me!"

"Perhaps that was the problem…You two, flirting like crazy for a year, you thought he didn't take it seriously, but he _did._" Remus said, his voice emotionless, "Lily…you thought that you were another girl to him, another conquest, but you never were. Remember the time he sent a whole box of quills and inks to the office you were working at? He hadn't just decided to get rid of a load of old ones as he said; he spent six hours in Diagon alley finding the best quills and inks he could! For Circe's sake, he had Sirius and Peter there, debating whether you used cuttlefish3 or octopus ink!"

"I think I ended up giving those quills away…Severus had made one from a barn owl feather for me, and charmed it to correct spelling mistakes…"Lily said, sadly.

"Lily…James practically worshipped the ground you walked in, even when he was a silly thirteen year old boy who thought it was funny to turn girls goblets into frogs at the table…you _knew_ most of it was bravado, hell…he was even prepared to bring Harry up as his own…he loved that boy more than life itself…Snape couldn't even put his pride aside for you…"

"I know…I know…" Lily said, "I had those thoughts every day for two years…every day going, '_why don't I love him like he loves me…why does every lovely act seem to fall flat…why am I not happy…_' and Remus, I don't know. I still don't know. I _wanted_ to love him. I wanted to be with him. I _Wanted_ him to be the one I woke up to and smiled at. But he wasn't. I _didn't_ want to keep loving Sev, even after he'd betrayed me…but…no matter how much I tried to hate him, I couldn't…"

"James knew, Lily. I could see it in his eyes…and every day he tried to make you love him more…"

"I know…I know…but…he couldn't bear it. Once Harry had been born, he looked like his father, black hair, thin Face, quiet unlike James's heart-shaped one…he stuck so many glamour's on that boy, I'm surprised Sev was able to get them all off…"

"Not all of them." Said Remus, a little sadly, "He still has James' eyesight…."

"Ah, James…short-sighted to the end…" Lily sighed, "Just like him to leave a mark like that…"

"Lily…I'm trying to be supportive, I'm trying to not hate you for not loving James, but please don't make this harder for me…" Remus sighed.

"Oh, God forbid if _I_ were to make things _hard for anyone else_!" Lily snapped, "I mean, it's not like I've had to deal with having my life, my child, taken away from me, quiet literally, being forced to live daily with the sense that I've forgotten something very important, unable to build close relationship with other human beings because every time I do I freak out and then almost dying for a second time before I'm able to see my son again!"

"Lily, you know I didn't mean that!" Remus replied sharply, "As much as you did or didn't love him, James was my best friend. He _died_ for Harry, he _died_ for you. So when I see you obsessing over someone as worthless as Snape, someone who was happy to let his son be raised by someone else for five years before he changes his mind and goes about it in the stupidest, most destructive way possible, then yes, it _is_ hard for me. You…don't have to hate Snape, but you should at least not tell me that you hated James."

"…Remus, you know I never meant that…" She said sadly.

"Well, he might be the father of your child, and you might still love him, but I'd think about what would be good for Harry." Remus said, "That might not be having Snape for a father." Lily gripped Harry's arm lightly and refused to look Remus in the face. "You've been thinking that for a while, haven't you?" Asked Remus.

"Yes" replied Lily.

"…I don't know much about Snape…but I guess life here wasn't always very nice…"

"…Remus, Sev was looking after his Mum from the age of thirteen…his father…well, let's just say that his knowledge of healing potions is hardly co-incidental; pretending that he had control over his injuries was better than accepting that he couldn't stop his father giving them…and I'd see them argue and fight…I still remember the Christmas before Sev's dad left, watching him lose control and hit the man in the chest, and he was so ashamed of losing control of himself…and the time he almost made a tree branch hit Petunia…it's terrifying what he's capable of…mentally, physically…terrifying."

"I'm going to hate myself for saying this…but I don't know how much he's like that any more." Said Remus, "I can't explain it, but it feels like he's allowing himself to let go of a lot of this stuff now…I mean, I wouldn't say that he's a paradigm of virtue, but…he wants to talk to you…but he doesn't want to hurt you." "How noble." She spat. "Lily…" "Why is it that no one wants to hurt me, but they end up doing so by treating me like some crippled child?"

"Oh, you're being so bloody stubborn!" Remus exclaimed, "How can you not understand? Less than twelve hours ago, we all thought you were dead, and now…now…"

"…Less than twelve hours ago I didn't even know that I existed!" She replied. She stared at Remus' care-worn face and sighed, "I know, I know…they want to make sure I'm okay, check I'm not some kind of collective hallucination or anything…" she laughed hollowly at her poor joke, "It's strange, like visiting a bomb site years after the fact and knowing that you used to live there…and then recognising the survivors as the very people you love…I just wish…I could go back."

"We all wish we could, Lily." Said Remus, "Before the war. Before being a muggleborn or a half-blood or a werewolf actually mattered…"

"…before we lost our innocence." Lily finished. Remus had no need to say anything further; he understood exactly what she meant. It wasn't the war that changed things; it was the growing up.

Harry stirred a little. Lily smiled and lent over to kiss him on the forehead. "Hello, my little prince. Feel better?"

Harry nodded, only half awake. She gently rubbed his back and said, "Do you want something to eat? It's past your tea-time!"

"It's past your bedtime, to be honest." Said Remus, looking at a clock on the wall, "though your dad and I haven't been very good at making sure you go to bed on time…"

"I'm not tired…"He moaned, hugging close to Lily, "I don't want to go to bed…"

"Oh yes…you should probably start eating…your food's probably stone cold now…" Remus fussed.

"Can I eat with Mum?" Asked Harry.

"I don't see any reason why not…how about you come with me and help me carry plates up? We could all eat together…"

"No!" Harry said, holding Lily closer, "I want to stay here…"

Lily smiled understandingly. "Remus…do you mind…?"

"I'll be back in five minutes." He smiled. He ruffled Harry's hair and left.

XXXXXX

As Remus went downstairs, he saw Moody sitting at the table, doing the crossword on the back of the paper. "Where's Snape?" Remus asked.

"Downstairs, working on another potion." Said Moody, "Dumbledore's trying to coax him into eating something. Don't see why he's bothering, though."

"Oh, okay." Remus said stupidly.

"Don't worry about Snape. I'm not planning to report you two. Umbridge thinks she's got her man and, frankly, she's too pig headed to convince her otherwise right now. Pity a man had to die for this to work out, though."

"Who had to…"

"Vernon Dursley killed himself today." Moody folded up the paper and passed it to Remus, "Couldn't take the shame."

"That's…" Remus wanted to say 'horrible' but somehow he couldn't quiet say that.

"…Snape's fault." Moody finished, staring darkly at the werewolf.

Remus shut part of his mind down, passed the paper back and served up food on two plates. "Will you be eating with us or do you…"

"I want to stay here." Said Moody, "Anyway, I'd need help with those stairs now."

Remus nodded, grabbing a chopping board and placing the plates on them. As he tried to balance them, Dumbledore came up and smiled at Lupin. "Ah, are you eating with Lily, then?" He asked.

"Yes…is Snape joining us?"

"No, I'm afraid not" Dumbledore sighed, shooting Moody an indecipherable look, "He wishes to keep on working."

Dumbledore served himself some food and then levitated all three plates with his wand. "Ah, yes! To the bedroom!" He grinned.

XXXXXXX

A few hours later, after a rather agreeable dinner, followed by an even more agreeable few rounds or so of Wizard chess, where Harry (playing with Lily's help) beat Remus mercilessly as Dumbledore performed little tricks for Harry's amusement, and everyone had finally gone to bed, Dumbledore carrying Harry to bed after he had fallen asleep listening to Lily, Severus was still in the basement, pretending to work.

His mind was too full of conflict to concentrate.

_Lily was alive. And she hated him. His dream was true…but so was his worst nightmare…he hated the Dursley's…he'd never meant to actually harm them…coward….coward…coward…Lily hated him, or if she didn't now, she would soon…he hated Moody…he hated Dumbledore, trying to make him come upstairs and be nice to him…he hated Remus and his simpering, sweet, kindly, blustery ways…He hated them and wanted them all to like him…no, no, he didn't…and Harry? Was he never to see Harry again? _

Severus knew he wasn't exactly able to sleep, but decided that wasting any more ingredients on potions he wasn't going to be able to complete was a worthless activity. Sleep would have to do.

He knew that All the bed's were taken; Remus had set up the spare cot for himself, giving his bed to Moody, whilst Dumbledore had decided that the sofa would be a good place to sleep. Lily had his bed. The armchair would suffice, Severus decided.

_But first,_ he thought as she shivered in the cold night air, a_ blanket._ He had a couple in his room…he'd have to be quiet, but he could justify the trip. He knew that it wasn't the real reason why he was going up, but he didn't really want to say, even in the privacy of his own head, that he was going up for one last glimpse of her.

Up the stairs, only sound being his quiet footfall, into his room, taking care not to let it creak…slowly, quiet steps to the cupboard, opening the door with only the slightest of unkempt squeaks, making Severus regret the lack of upkeep to the house.

Then, grabbing a slightly raggedy blanket, he slammed the door shut.

"Merlin's ballsack!" He cursed out loud.

"Sev!" Lily sat up straight in bed, staring around wildly.

She was now dressed in one of Severus' black gowns, the only thing he'd have allowed her to wear that would fit her, still looking pale and tired, but otherwise as beautiful as he'd never known her, inn the single stream of moonlight which shone in through the curtains.

He tried to get away, but she saw his movement. "Sev…"

He returned and said, rather unsurely, "Hello, Lily."

He saw her eyes glint angrily at him in the silvery light. He said nothing. There was this moment when the world seemed to be heaving and slightly see-through and then…_SLAP_

Severus reeled from the shock, then felt himself being pulled nearer by a soft, strong hand then…Lip touched, warm skin against warm skin, moistness, tasting to see if it were real…he felt the hand start to let go, but he reached his hands around, running his fingers through her hair as they kissed violently, pulling and grabbing at each other, angrily, greedily…

Lily separated from him for a second to gasp, "Don't you _ever_ leave me again, you bastard…."

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Severus pulled gently on her hair, forcing her neck back and kissed her with the full force of six years of love, lust and frustration letting themselves go all at once. He felt her hands running down his chest, feeling at the robes, then feverously working the buttons, trying to undo them…he stroked her neck, kissing it, biting lightly at the base, making her groan a little…he felt his skin become exposed to the world, icy and cold and suddenly regretted not having showered all day and still covered in potions grime…she pushed him backwards, her kisses dribbing down from his mouth to his chin, neck, collarbone, chestbone…and then licking all the way back up…he ripped the robe she wore off and then grabbed her, holding her in his arms, flipping her over. She giggled at him, and stared up at him with her big green eyes as his hands wandered to her breasts, touching the erect nipples…at first with his fingertips, then with his lips, then with his tongue, making her moan with pleasure…

Punctuated with panting, kisses, giggles, groans and the starchy ruffles of bedsheets, two shapes moved in the moonlight, hands moving up and down each other's skin, moving in and out of each other in gasps of ecstasy, as everything they had been waiting for, for this very moment, came together; anger, hatred, love, joy, longing, waiting, impatience, deep sadness, manic elation, anything, everything, nothing, no ambivalence, just a million emotions and sensations co-existing as one as they were together….

XXXXXXX

It've over for now! I'm having trouble with the next chapter and need help! Please review with, well, ideas, comments, feelings, anything really. I'm kinda stuck.

Oh yes, I have ideas for a sequel – would anyone be interested in reading one?

Thank you!

1 Okay, I'm in two minds about this phrase. I use it when I see someone who looks really pissed off as a veiled reference to "If Looks could kill" by Camera Obscura, but I also realise that if you don't instantly connect the idea of the phrase "if looks could kill" with the most server form of killing, then perhaps it seems a bit gratuitous. I'm also pretty sure no one outside my circle of friends uses this phrase (Another phrase is "You've been visited by the exquithit fap chaffinch…" of which the meaning and epimology is lost in history…)

2 House of love, by Kate Bush. As covered in more recent years by the future heads. I recommend listening to both.

3 According to the Internet, is what sepia ink is made from (technically their ink sacs, but "Cuttlefish" sounds better than "Sepia" in this context…)


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